Tag: t_w1r6

(unhealthy)longevity: I aim high #YY.T

Posted on by tiger40490

In Dec 2023 I started to worry about quality_of_life in my mom’s twilight years, either in a Beijing nursing home, or a Singapore nursing home, or living with my wife (while I’m away in the U.S.), against the backdrop of her declining health.

quality_of_life is another side of VV (one of the trio).

All the scenarios appear pathetic, unappealing, scary,,, As people grow old, they are bound to experience (some or all of) mobility decline, mental decline, living away from immediate family, or outside their own comfortable n familiar home. Inevitable for many in their 80s.

Given an elderly’s health, financial and family situation, his choices are often limited. If money is not the problem (willing suspension of disbelief), then perhaps he can live with family + adequate healthcare at home [R.Teo’s dad?]. Hopefully (big hope), the in-law caregivers are able to cope, supported by plenty of external resources. This “acceptable” bar is too high to be realistic.

Before I can plan ahead, I have to give up on unrealistic expectations.

How about my ADL insurance? I now feel somewhat more vindicated.

The more children and grandchildren I have, the more resources I have available in my old age.

— update: life chances ..  healthy longevity, short glorious life ..

eg: Steve Jobs had a short but glorious life. Did he want to live longer and enjoy more life chances? I bet he did.

Have you observed aged (extende) family members or neighbors in unhealthy longevity, perhaps a burden to his loved ones? Do they want to live longer? Do they see any life chances in the remaining lifespan?

k_Kahneman .. k_def_of_success .. k_daily_battle

See also

I discussed with 92S27 classmates Wenjie and Huiyi why a longevity target of 95 is so rare and unpopular. The individual reasons vary, and depend on individual life experiences and observations.  I said there is a dominant/overwhelming opinion, a personal opinion enforced by vast majority of peers, so any opposing view would have virtually no followers. Here is how I would describe it:

  • V V) Quality (i.e. worth) of twight phase of longevity .. questionable, as the final years are perceived as usually unhealthy longevity, or limited mobility… limited/unenviable quality of life. See DALYs [ disability-adjusted life years]
  • SS) long-term nonstop Sacrifices .. required to reduce longevity risks .. is very long, painful, tangible and immediate .. nonstop from today for 30Y
  • RR) Hazards — risk reduction efficacy .. given the multitude of hazards to longevity, the achievable risk reduction is perceived as rather low and by no means guaranteed. In other words, those hazards are presumed uncontrollable. This life-chance (the chance to avoid the hazards) is perceived to be very low regardless of personal effort.
  • .. analog: covid measures were similarly perceived to be ineffective or questionable in efficacy, including vaccines, masks, distancing,,,

I said the above 3-point view has a starting point — inertia i.e. unwilling to give up the comfortable, familiar and less-than-healthy lifestyle. Therefore, these 3 factors sound like excuses. Inertia is very hard to overcome for most individuals. Change often takes a long time and a lot of soul-searching. In contrast, the alternative starting point (my ideal) is maximum longevity regardless of healthy/unhealthy (VV). I see the risk reduction efficacy as significant (RR), and I don’t care about the sacrifices (SS) — My perception of the evidence is the opposite of RR description above. I believe in BMI, workout, diet habit, regular health screening,,,. I don’t calculate the amount of risk reduction because fundamentally, it is non-quantifiable. But see the lifespan dev textbook.

Most unretired individuals have observed some /nonagenarian/ relatives or neighbors up close. I guess most of us associate these individuals with poor VV. When we learn about how their longevity was achieved, we inevitably hear a variety of long (and non-trivial) sacrifice (SS).

I aim higher on longevity .. Most unretired individuals choose , conservatively, to aim lower in terms of longevity. By “lower” I mean aim below the life expectancy at her current age. For example, when my wife is 45, her actual life expectancy is probably 90 in Singapore, but her aim could be a few years lower.

eg: my wife; my sis; Tanko; many people in developed countries.

Belief A: (VV) Subconsciously, she often believes “Less is more” i.e. her life could/would be better if it ends around 80 , better than a life with X additional years of “low quality living” perhaps /saddled/ with a chronic condition. DurationNeglect.

BeliefA2: For various reasons, many unretired individuals believe it is reasonable/legitimate to “aim lower” rather than “as long as possible”. I am not sure. A jolt question to challenge this belief:

Q: what if you end up outliving your longevity target by a decade+? Unless you are really suffering (rare), I bet you won’t want your life to end right there. The reality, as you will realize, is that despite the “reduced quality”, that extra decade is still worth living. It’s known as the golden years, rather than twilight years. I think the individual could regret some of the lifestyle decisions she made at an younger age.

I later wrote to one of my 92S27 classmates “My family is not rich.. my kids are not brainy .. My home is modest.. I have no car no maid… but I enjoy my carefree easy life one day at a time .. Trying to improve diet, exercise, sleep, reading habit etc… Life is short n tough, and I aim to make it longer n easier”

— SS .. The main daily battle, as introduce by Alex of MS, was about diet. Some non-overweight individuals also engage in the daily battle, as I described to Bindi of EAP.

Other bposts under t_Promethean all beg the question “Is such a life worth living as long as possible?” SuccessZ?

In Dec 2023, I described to XH.Fu 3 examples of sacrifices .. 1) diet 2) exercise and 3) tech learning. #3 is relevant to healthy longevity because it extends my employment phase and delays retirement. Retirement often triggers a decline in wellness.

Breathing / meditation can be classfied as a form of exercise but I would rather treat it as a distinct form of self-practice. It requires discipline (sacrifice)

Another example is sexual activity. Longevity may require you to reduce and regulate sexual activity but many people don’t care.

— Locus of control (RR) .. is a perception, a explanatory style, and a personal belief.
Belief B: (related to RR) An unretired individual recognizes that his lifespan is unpredictable and believes that aiming higher is meaningless.

Beyond the longevity topic, in general, people who believe fate is beyond their control would not bother to reduce the risks. Since the effort (SS) is substantial and long-term, any personal doubt about its efficacy would frequently derail the commitment.

In contrast, people who believe in self-efficacy are motivated to improve their life chances.

— successZ .. My perception and practice on SS is typical of my self-discipline and successZ.
— self-talk and self-conviction .. are powerful across these 3 points. I now describe to more friends my SS attitude [don’t care], my VV attitude [好死不如赖活着] etc.

I also acknowledge that my self-conviction is susceptible to negative influences. I told YY.T about my dad. I can see YY’s active lifestyle is hampered by his knee injury, and something may happen to me as I age. Therefore, the 3-point self-talk is a constant battle against blackholes. I want to talk to more positive individuals, giving me positive influence.
— qualifying unhealthy_longevity (VV) .. Unhealthy longevity means below 60% of perfect health during the final 20 years. 好死不如赖活着.  In contrast,

  • Any ADL or TPD would mean a score below 50%
  • a real chronic condition would bring the score well below 60%, including wheelchair, permanent paralysis.. (However, most chronic conditions are not so serious.)
  • I would say a score of 60% is healthy_longevity
  • I would say a score of 80% is exceptional_healthy_longevity
  • 100% perfect health is unthinkable in the aging of bones/joints (mobility), eyesight, hearing, skin… let alone internal organs.

##[23] fear@losing #EDyw^finger

Posted on by tiger40490

k_soul_search

Context: During and after the Bj15d trip, I was hit by multiple fears of “losing”, in every senses of the word, including but not limited to losing passport, losing wellness, losing a child,,,

Like the BBC program on ‘confidence’ or “resilience”, this bpost is an exploration of all senses of the word “lose”, hopefully fruitful. This bpost lacks a memorable title and may not last more than a year. Therefore the big list (not comprehensive or structured) of items are casual and random, not some “top 10”. I prefer sharp, highly specific items.

[z=zqbx required for self-improvement, self-motivation,,,]
[s=serenity needed in extra dosage, needed more than zqbx]

Aha observation: biggest category of the items in the bpost are about losing my body’s /capabilities/. As I said in the personal health^family bpost, among the top 2 most valuables, personal health is bigger than family. Losing family is a real tragedy, but actually most early humans (or modern-day primitive communities) and all adult animals are able to deal with it and move on.

— losing my cmmc channel with my son
— [z] losing bilingual vocab as I grow old … I rely on my English vocab for therapeutic or expressive writing,,,

I may lose fluency in one of my two primary languages, perhaps due to disuse.

My English and Chinese vocab is constantly “growing and /shedding/ leaves” like 2 gigantic trees.
— [z] losing my interview “muscles” and access to age-friendly WStC harbor

— [z] losing diet discipline .. as experienced in early 2023, up to Bj15d

[z] losing BMI and small belly … can be better or worse than losing muscle strength
[z] losing pull-up capabilities, due to weight or lack of maintenance
— losing appetite or good sleep .. look at grandpa. Now compare:
[s] EDyw [ losing my (nocturnal) erection] .. Wanting it badly but unable to get it is … hugely depriving.
Aha: In contrast, losing my sexual drive is not as bad as losing sleep and appetite.

— losing mobility .. like Grandpa
==== some of the vague, familiar, items or less impactful items
— losing one of my fingers .. In my 20s I used to tell my parents about this fear. This is statistically unlikely and usually due to accidents
This loss is worse than EDyw, because EDyw has a simple cure namely implants.
— [z] losing mobility .. grandma’s fear. Look at grandpa
— losing  eye sight, hearing, good teeth, not only due to aging
— [z] losing my comfortable income from epaJob .. see bposts on its best features. High probability and high impact.
— SGD losing strength .. possible after 10Y
Sg government losing control on inflation… is similar
— losing my connection with China or Singapore (citizenship privileges)… China system now treats me almost as a foreigner and I feel a loss.
— losing my nice commute due to job change
— losing $100k++ to hacker/scammer (specific[1]), due to my oversight, not bank’s fault, not market risk … Luckily, there’s plenty of public education.
[1] Note this is a specfic loss, in a specific context, not a vague item.
Beware of large cash balance in any of your accounts. Actually, illiquid assets[TD,stocks,,] are safer in this age of scams.

Look at all the efforts to earn and save. Is this kind of loss 可惜[pitiful]? I would say those efforts are worthwhile. If I lose money due to natural disaster, then I would not complain about the prior efforts.

Many individuals wished to make those personal sacrifices to save and invest, but they look at the hazard rate and decide the sacrifice may not “buy me much”. Hazards include (but not limited to) CPIx inflation, scams,,,, This negative attitude is reflected in the Quanlity|Hazard|Sacrifice mental blocks@longevity.

misc passwd tips

Posted on by tiger40490

k_passwd

See also

“Site” := any authentication system, including smartphone.

I never let browsers remember my password (lazy and unwise choice). Rather I always type the passwords by hand as refresher. Furthermore, I practice logging in periodically – a necessary cost of maintenance, just like workout.

 

 

stress prevent^ reduce^protect #buffering

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_X_power_descriptor ,,, k_office_sanctuary

Each time, when I pay attention to these words and their differences, i become more tuned into the subtle characteristics of (my reactions to) various stressors. Good exercise in my experience.

Most of the stressors in my life are harmful, but a few are positive [stress in eq-investing, recreational^burdensome complexities], to be embraced. You can find many examples explained online. It is a matter of attitude. Many stressors are inevitable. Reduction/prevention can be ineffective. That’s when we need protection.

Note: In (American and other) movies, cashflow stress is often depicted as extreme. In terms of livelihood stress, cashflow is usually a smaller stress than health or family.

— Reduction … means (minor/major) strength reduction of usually _unavoidable_ stressors; in contrast Prevention means reducing towards zero, or wipe-out.

As such, Prevention is often the smart strategy when applicable.

Disambiguation: reducing strength of the stressor is real reduction and direct reduction; reducing the sustained damage-due-to-the-stressor is actually protection, not “reduction” per se.

— protection.. Also known as “stress /coping/” and “stress /resilience/”, implying no further reduction possible.

Prootection can also imply that an external threat is unavoidable and not something to be reduced.

Protection is often the final layer of defense. Includes biological , mental wellness protection , family bond protection,,,

Disambiguation: protection is what we do after minimizing stress. Therefore, in our context, protection excludes reduction. In everyday English, “protect” has wider (vague) meaning including reduction and prevention.

— 3 layers of defense. Think of a bunch of meteors heading to our planet:

  1. prevent (i.e. avoid, deflect, break, pre-empt, shield) if possible
  2. reduce the strength of the meteors at every stage, if /impact/ is unavoidable
    1. relief .. more immediate, more short-term
  3. protect our most vulnerable, most vital systems against impact.

(In everyday English, each term can be so broad as to cover all other terms. )

In each stressful period of our lives, we might select one of the 3 to focus on, even though we need more than one strategy. For example,

  • — half ranked by effectiveness and stressor severity
  • [s=specific. Less specific items to be removed. This bpost is for disambiguation.]
  • [s] blogg and other therapeutic hobbies .. including QQ/coding, stock picking .. can reduce (or sometimes prevent) stress
  • .. blogg on parenting .. esp. after a crisis event can (prevent and) reduce the magnitude of stress
  • WStC: absence of annual appraisal .. preventive and protects my self-esteem.
  • [s] the office as a sanctury.. is a prevention shield of stress
  • quiet idle time .. is hopefully protective , comparable to but fundamentally different from sleep.
  • [s] BMI deep-green zone .. is protective when I face many stressors and increase stress-eating.
  • better sleep .. protective but not really reduces the stressor
  • [s] jogg.. (more effective than swimm or cycling) can protect against stress. Among other things, jogging generates a temporary boost to inner confidence and energy level.
  • [s] MLP severance + 3M NC + 3M NP… feels like protective of family livelihood. Classic example of protection when “meteor” impact is inevitable. Also a stress relief.
  • [s] active and cooperative (no 100% perfection) intimacy .. protective. Additionally, it can reduce (even prevent) some types of spousal conflicts .
  • — unsorted
  • choosing car-less or rental lifestyle .. can prevent some stressors, but staying rented also comes with its share of stressors.
  • [s] more paid leaves .. seem to reduce and prevent stress, but I guess in the U.S. my contractor job was somehow less stressful.
  • Staying relevant on U.S. job market [IV body-building] .. can prevent a lot of stresses. If you restrict yourself to Singapore, then more stress.
  • [s] mtg preparation and plann .. can prevent  and reduce  stress, esp. last-minute … See also “slack resources”
  • [s] spare of keys (and everything important .. slack resources) can prevent  and reduce stress
  • [s] exp recon and annual snap .. takes huge amounts of time bue feels like satisfying (therapeutic) deep work… The clarity/insight/confidence might prevent some pff stress. In a stress_test (PIP, khm downturn), this data analysis and evicence might reduce my stress level. I would feel protected by these valuable pff resources.
  • [s] My anti-inflation assets .. are protective of family livelihood. HDB home, SP500, SGX bluechips and very few other assets.
  • To protect against the inevitable professional decline, I try to plan ahead for second career, develop r-ikigai. Ineffective? Unsure.
  • [s] In every job, I seek chitchat partners for stress relief and reduction… sometimes even stress protection, after a “meteor hit”
  • MOETF firewall .. reduces stress from volatility
  • [s] yoga .. supposed to be stress reduction in many practitioners, but I tend to focus on the wrong thing — the gap between me vs other students, the gap between the instruction vs my limits. Those necessary modifications are supposed to be gentle, and better than no practice, but they (modifications) tend to create stress.
  • [s] health screening .. (and other periodic “tire checks”) can prevent/reduce stress
  • .. similar: https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/18807/reduce-annoyances-before-stress-spike/
  • ##[21] current coping strategies: 困扰 #R.Teo lists many examples

— Stress buffering .. a well-defined academic term, very graphical. It is related more to reduction , less to protection .

According to https://what-when-how.com/social-sciences/stress-buffering-model-social-science/ , stress-buffering model hypothesizes that certain psychosocial resources help to reduce the impact of negative life events on an individual’s health status. An accumulation of adverse occurrences can be related to health problems, but life stress may have less effect among people who have more /psychosocial/ resources. In this sense, the resource serves as an insulating factor, or buffer, between the /stressors/ and the disease outcome, so that people who have more resources are less affected by stress.

So the “buffer” is always a specific psychosocial resource, playing a role between the stressor and the disease outcome. By extension, the buffer can also be adequate sleep, a day off, a long walk,,,

[22]carefree:与众不同 #by half

Posted on by tiger40490

k_tectonic … k_def_of_success

see also

This bpost needs a more distinctive, identifiable, less forgettable title.

When I don’t feel carefree, this analysis might provide clues + perhaps a few tips/nudges.

Q1: living my “carefree ezlife”, perhaps in my bubble, Why do I feel so alone and uncommon like “outlier” (与众不同) among my peers?

The answer is invariably a combination of distinct factors.  Each time we apply one of the factors below as a filter on the global cohort population, half (or at least 20%) of the remainder drop out. I used to joke that the qualifying population shrinks “by half”.

  • — G9 hard [measurable, visible, less subjective] factors underpinn` my carefree ezlife: (See also list in
  • [22]幸福:2precious cornerstones: breakaway)
  • factor: CPI inflation worries beyond retirement .. related to “citizenship” and “cashflow-high-ground”. “Half” my cohort across many countries seriously worry about living expenses doubling every 10~20Y, progressively eroding/shrinking their retirement nest egg.
  • G9 pillar: fully paid home of reasonable size, in a clean, safe, actively maintained neighborhood … Not so common esp. among younger peers.
  • G9 pillar: cashflow high ground .. (for family livelihood) ..  Rare among my peers. I won’t elaborate.
  • G3 pillar: my citizenship.. my appreciation[confidence/faith, gratitude] of my adopted country .. is rare among my peers. A subtle factor, this “shield” gives me a confidence (-}carefree) distinct from that of my WSt friends.
  • G7 pillar: career longevity (based on WStC) .. rare among techies [dev-till70], and also rare across the entire cohort. Bpost [1] has more details, so I won’t elaborate here
  • Layer 2 foundation: stable marriage + bonding with kids .. is shared with perhaps half my peers. I score a B+.
  • Layer 1 foundation: wellness .. (all aspects) .. Note BMI/fitness (also tech bodybuilding) require successZ, rather than “LG-carefree”…

(Pillars rest on layers of foundations.)

Q4: why is my wife not feeling carefree? Why the big contrast between husband and wife? See “half-empty” section.

— harmony .. part of successE (elaborated below).  I feel improving (albeit inconsistently) in my harmony, mellowing up, letting go..
— failureZ .. a common weakness among my peers, and therefore affects a majority of them. Note successZ definition is simpler than successE but still nontrivial.
Bpost [1] examined my continuous, self-driven learning habit

eg: My annual health screening is one example of how successZ underpins my “carefree”. (I won’t elaborate) bone density; heart-healthy diet; cholesterol control; low-sugar, low-salt; research into various conditions/risks;;;; You can never become complacent and let your guards down 🙂

==== utopian/bubble.. Many people would dismiss my (or PersonB’s) “carefree” as utopian, short-lived or fragile. That PersonB could be an engineer, an academic, an early retiree, a pensioner… because everyone’s bubble is fragile to some extent.

I still have (long or short term) stressors in my current job, BMI, parenting, investment issues,,, I still need inner strength, serenity, harmony, zqbx

Q3: level of Fragility of this carefree bubble?

Any analysis/investigation into “carefree” inevitably leads to questions of  fragility/impermanence/vulnerability/defenses//… These questions explain why “carefree” periods are so rare. However, this bpost will skimp on them.

— A very realistic “rude awakening” .. see the missteps/swans in https://tanbinvest.dreamhosters.com/12221/resilience-against-ffree-derailers/

— Jan 2023 update: Miles of Sonic team .. (See also Sonic+Sachin+Anurag) a story about utopia, fragility, storms/bubbles/derailers/// This case illustrates that at any time, for any reason, without any sign, we could lose our comfortable job, or our health etc. This case sounds like a swan event, but there was also a personal misstep (self-acknowledged). My compliance violations are also missteps. These swans/missteps are serious derailers of my carefree bubble, but now is the quiet between the storms, so the other factors feel like better answers to Q1.

This “quiet” feels like a dream, or inside a bubble, rolling on high rails.

— Update after Sep/Oct 2022 .. I feel my carefree ezlife is diminishing/declining/ in some strange way. It takes effort to explain it.

The DIYHI created lots of conflicts, self-blame, zsms about tcost, involution.

Then in Nov, kids’ math exam results ..

Then in Mar 2023, EDyw was a real blow according to the rmSelf, but for the xpSelf, Edyw didn’t /knock me out/ of my carefree zone.

In the grand scheme of things, these pains/unhappy episodes would pass. The “carefree” felt so short-lived to the rmSelf, but (to the xpSelf) it soon returned.

==== wrong priorities .. a key “soft” factor to explain “why so many peers are not carefree”. (In contrast, see the hard factors eralier.)

Some of my peers score higher than me in “cashflow high ground” or “career longevity” (I refuse to pay attention to them) but I feel most of my cohort are fixated on their “half-empty” glasses, while I tend to focus more on my “half-full” glass.

Breakaway .. is a power descriptor. See [22]幸福:2precious cornerstones: breakaway

— successE .. I feel my peers don’t appreciate successE that much. Therefore, my successE is /uncommon/.

Beware successE definition is subject to interpretation.
— zzcl .. I feel many, perhaps majority of, my peers are not mellowing up to zzcl. I think many aim higher and try harder than I do. In doing so, they experience more frustration, less contentment.

  • improve kids’ grades
  • get better job .. objectively, my jobs since 2017 were good
  • get bigger home .. objectively, my home is big enough

— focusing_illusion .. by focusing on the half-full, I feel more contented, more grateful, more lucky, more optimistic… These feelings /seed/ a virtuous cycle of wellness, generosity, kindness, forgiveness

If I were to explain “wrong priorities” , zzcl, failureE, failureZ, harmony ,,, in an essay,  it would involve many power phrases. Many of my peers may not understand these phrases. A  phrase is often subtle, low-power, or poorly defined, and my definition often abstract, unnatural and non-trivial. (Contrast them with those handful “hard” factors above.)

— life chances .. personal! I am contended about my life chances. I pursue the right life chances that are important to me, rather than the wrong priorities of other people

==== a nightmare .. in a 2022 nightmare, I rejoined Macq and was dismissed again. I did my best again, but again was shown to be the weakest in the team, although another set of job requirements may prove otherwise. In hind sight, the 2015/2016 Macq job requirement was simply too high for me, more than the Qz job or GS job. How about Ash.S in his CTO job? CSDoctor’s job? S.Liu’s job?

If I were to benchmark myself with these so-called peers, or try to increase my brank, and join the exclub, I would get derailed, lose my carefree ezlife, take on lots of stress.
If I try, could I become a software architect? Not my strength.
If I try, could I become a lead developer like Ash.S? Not sure.

At my age, I have an implicit self-conviction that most of the higher-paying positions are too stressful, with exorbitant expectations. What I’m unsure is the salary hike of a “jump”. (My EPA job could be worth SGD 160k in another company.) What additional income is possible? After tax, 80k/Y additional? Not worth it.

I told grandpa that my successE [carefree ezlife + harmony, based on wellness and comfortable livelihood] is rare among my cohort, not because I’m wealthier than them, but because I don’t focus on the wrong goals.

The nightmare scenario is much more severe, harsh, harmful than CB2022.

##[19]peaceful leisure@waterfront park: rude awaken`

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_soul_search

See also

In 2020, I told grandpa that I often felt happy (satisfied!), peaceful (stress-lite),,, when spending time at a well-maintained waterfront park like east coast, Bayonne, Bishan park,,, Since then, this blogpost has slowly shifted focus from Happiness to Peaceful leisure. Peace meaning absence of stress. Now I think many individuals in many countries can enjoy the same /amenities/. But let’s focus on my peers in China, SG and U.S. Again, my immediate focus is the common or persistent stressors, because I’ve found myself rather sensitive to stress. Stress is the enemy of carefree, peaceful leisure at waterfront parks.

I realize that the VAST majority of the world population (and majority of my broad peer group) struggle against some common adversities, that threaten to spoil their brief peaceful leisure… rude awakening!

  • — a random list of rude awakenings, half ranked by the (unpleasant) impact on peaceful leisure. I prefer specfic details
  • [X] divorce or unsatisfactory marriage .. the severe cases. I now feel divorce has permanent legal consequences, though some divorcees do overcome those consequences almost completely (few “completely”).
  • family disharmony .. domestic aggression, in-law conflicts
  • [aLS] (chronic) health conditions, contributing to rising healthcare cost
    • infertility, eating disorder, hair loss, hearing loss (my mom), allergies, aging eyesight, sexual difficulties
  • [5] overwork, burn-out, work stress, abusive boss .. the severe cases
  • [5] lack of spare time for unwind, recuperation, recharge, and rest, perhaps due to long commute, long work hours, parenting, care-giver duty, long wait time on the phone
  • [5aLSX] housing cost, or poor housing condition including long commute.  Residents would presumably have less time but would want to spend more time get-away…
  • [5LSX] job insecurity (esp. older workers, unskilled workers), displacements. Remember the covid19 mass layoff affecting thousands of Singaporeans. Many are seriously worried.
  • mortgage rate hike as experienced in 2022 .. often increasing monthly int accural by $1k for many years. A rude awakening
  • See also [4]. This bpost was initially a 2023 snapshot of long-term recurring stressors
  • ~~~~~ the generic, the vague, not directly relevant to peaceful leisure, or items marked with [a],  ….
  • GreenCard long queue affecting Indian H1b holders .. often generates good news and bad news
  • [5SX] unhealthy lifestyle due to lazybones, overeating, busy work/parenting
  • conflict or grievances at work .. the severe cases
  • [SX] kid’s academic trouble, behavior, drugs, bullying
  • [S] short-term (effect of long-term) inflation, esp. in housing, education and medical
  • [L] major investment woes that threaten to wipe out 5Y of savings (250k).
  • bedbugs
  • [5aX] weight, body image, fitness # my son was slightly overweight
  • [5aLS] cost of basic (“luxury” for the cmcUS) education
  • [aLSX] below-average income, often due to lack of specialized skills # wife, Bayonne roommates… My kids may land there too.
  • — legend:
  • [a=these /struggles/ are long and hard, but the individual gets adapted to them so the damages don’t keep growing over time]
  • [L=livelihood stress]
  • [S=a focus of the Singapore nanny state, but NOT U.S. governments]
  • [5=affecting more than 50% of my peers]
  • [X=my own effort is at least half the reason for my carefree situation]

So yes most of us can find joy in a lovely waterfront park, but I’m more protected , more blessed than most of the people in the world.

— portrait of affluence .. The image of waterfront leisure park has been increasingly popular and prevalent, for 20Y+. This imagery is a common theme online among 1) the overseas Chinese 2) westerners [Caucasians]. These are two groups of authors having the deepest influence during my formative years.

The overseas Chinese authors often include the images as a /glimpse/ of their “good life” in the west relative to China. A related portrait would be a family road trip in a SUV, or the busy trip preparation, in a family yard.

This theme symbolizes affluence (or wealth) in time and $. That includes work-life balance, reasonable working hours,,. At a secondary level, it also suggests street safety, a sustainable ecosystem, a resourceful local government, plenty of well-maintained green space for a given human population (no overcrowding), ,,,

BMI > flexible > strength > CRE

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_soul_search

  • After the meet-up with YY.T, I realized CRE fitness (or speed) is not a priority to me. Longevity > freedom from illness > intimacy > good sleep and appetite
    BMI .. seems to be a key indicator/predictor of many of the above.
  • As of Mar 2022,free_from_ill > BMI green zone > ▲ full-body esp. upper-body strength relative to body weight > flexible >▼CRE ..
  • As of Dec 2021, free_from_ill > healthy_longevity > BMI > ▲ flexible > ▲ strength > ▼CRE
  • As of Jul 2021, free_from_ill_health > healthy_longevity > BMI green zone > ▲flexible > ▼endurance > ▲strength .. identical to 2018 !
  • As of 2020, freedom_from_ill_health > healthy_longevity > endurance > strength > flexible
  • As of Jan 2019, I have achieved the greatest success in weight, and I was making the biggest effort (against greatest resistance) in flexibility
  • As of 2018, If I must chose between the two, in 2018 I would choose to prioritize flexibility over bodyweight. I conceived this pyramid of fitness priorities in July 2018:
  1. weight? Affects endurance, strength, flexibility, speed, leaping, …
  2. Y-junction (central) flexibility? toughest to improve. Central means lower waist till thigh. All other parts are much, much, much, , much, much better in terms of my gap behind other (mostly female) yoga students. See ##toughest yoga poses ranked
  3. stamina in heart and lung etc
    • depends on weight
    • less visible, less keenly felt as a weakness
    • easier to improve and maintain, due to my absorbency advantage.
  4. strength (including muscle endurance) relative to weight. See notes below
    1. depends on weight
  5. speed of distance running; leap length/height
    • depends on weight

 

Even though my shoulder joint is unable to extend up to 180 degrees, it’s not preventing any yoga poses. It only makes “poor form” or forces me to take on modified poses. In contrast, my Y-junction inflexibility does render some yoga poses unattainable.

▲ means “gaining relative mindshare now than earlier”
▼ means “losing mindshare but still important (usually)”

This blogpost is mostly about my personal priorities. How about the priorities for my son/daughter (or a family member or a colleague/friend)? That priority list is usually BMI > CRE > strength > flexibility. Note BMI is the most important wellness factor for my family.

— aspect: intimacy … sexual gratification and longer active sex life…  sometimes more important to me than improving BMI to 64 kg. If BMI improvement affect my intimacy, then let go of the BMI. My intimacy is more important.

— aspect: healthy appetite.. Losing your healthy appetite, and becoming someone like grandpa in his late 80s, can reduce your BMI, but do you want that?

During my covid infection, I lost appetite and BMI, but it is not worth it.

— aspect: Freedom from ill health
“Freedom” includes things like immunity, recovery, and karma. The perspective is shorter-term and slightly more achievable and predictable than longevity.
— aspect: longevity
longevity-but-in-poor-health is not really my goal.
— aspect: stamina [endurance/CRE//]
Jolt: endurance .. also required in yoga, chin-up, jump-rope etc, and has a massive psychological impact.

“Fitness” is vague and means slightly more than stamina. Stamina means cardio-respiratory endurance (CRE) to me. For me, fitness (and also most strengths) is measured against body weight.

— aspect: muscle mass and Strength, esp. against body weight
Strength is slightly more than muscles strength. Muscle mass is a low priority to me.

Amputation can “improve” your BMI but do you want it?

(Note muscle mass vs body fat .. is a recurring debate, but body fat is hard to measure.)

Those (sportspeople) who gain muscle mass often have a hard time maintaining BMI in old age.

For bone health and some other elements of health, adequate muscle strength is crucial.

Plank and other stationary exercises fall into the Strength category.

Many workout classes focus on minor muscles seldom exercised. I tend to think those are important and deserve some attention.

— the need to balance enjoyments with wellness priorities
some people (mostly men) enjoy muscle training and nothing else .. I think some Americans do. It can affect BMI and flexibility, two of the most important aspects of wellness. I am unlikely to become bulky, but flexibility is a traditionally neglected area.

some people enjoy jogging and nothing else. It can lead to loss of flexibility and muscle as we age.

Some women do mostly yoga including some limited strength training, so they lack CRE. Therefore, some combine yoga with cardio.

Ideally, you would want to enjoy a range of workouts, but few individuals are so lucky. For every adult and child, consistent workout is repetitive and requires a lot of effort and absorbency. Team sports and golf are more fun but requires a lot of external help.

Yoga trains some less-used muscles and includes many stationary exercises.

— Q: which aspect is easiest to accumulate? Stamina
Q: which are the easiest to lose? BMI
Q: which are the easiest to rebuild/recover? Strength

— Q: which aspect generates the most reassurance? free_from_ill_health;
Q: which component has the biggest weightage in overall self-esteem/self-confidence? BMI

==== Aging .. Even though ▲flexibility is the weakest weakness and #1 area that needs the most ‘sunshine’, I still need to work on stamina, muscle strength etc as I age.

As we age, each part of the engine must be kept in working condition, including the more durable parts (probably heart and bones).

BMI wellness would show declines in both sexes, affects stamina, strength, and flexibility.

Stamina is 80% heart and lung, but joints and bones also need continuous /boost/ and strengthening through strength training. I feel positive that I have a natural advantage in stamina, but stamina needs active maintenance.

I think 1) muscle and 2) flexibility are likely to experience the most declines.  You will always see exceptions, but those rare cases can be misleading and /breed/ a sense of complacency, a false sense of /invincibility/ and overconfidence

— upper body strength relative to weight, as we age
As we age, lower body strength is easier to maintain, thanks to climing, jogging, cardios (predominantly leg work). In contrast, upper body muscles are almost never deployed to support FULL body weight, except in 1) chin-up 2) dip. Therefore, as we age, we would lose these abilities quite early. I have many male colleagues to tell me “At my age I can’t do chin-up any more.”

In late 2021, I met a group of body builders at the Blk 79A exercise corner. I think they have lean muscles, strengths, balance, but how about upper body strengthRelative2Weight? I would guess that for most of them, as they age the bulky muscles are likely to become a problem rather than an asset.  Bodybuilders, boxers, weight lifters tend to become overweight in older age.

Similar to flexibility, upper body strength training (esp. chin-up) is less sustainable, more boring than outdoor cardio, or lower-body strength training. It requires more /absorbency/, sunshine. Classes could help. See chin-up #muscle-up

##gain` traction+vision {years@envy P1

Posted on by tiger40490

k_bedBug_wisdom  k_tectonic

See also ##GordianKnot Cutters

Need a better title. Old title: “##gain` traction+vision {years@envy”, showing

  1. Gaining (temporary) vision after years of shooting in the dark
  2. Gaining (temporary) traction after years of spinning the wheel

This blogpost grew to become /unwieldy/, so I split it to a sister blogpost on wellness+finance

  • [c = even a SINGLE effective strategy / tactic would put me above the clueless majority]
  • [m = I or someone can teach a class like the master class run by the Value-Investing or e-commerce gurus ]
  • [r = reflective writing proved instrumental]
  • [e = I envied for years, until I figured out some secrets, and now becoming the envy of others ]
  • [t = reached a decisive turning point]
  • [h = hidden barrier]

—- [c] eg: boy’s math coaching… My vision secret? put aside benchmarks and try to increase his intrinsic motivation by 1%. Possibly insignificant (I don’t think so). Definitely better than nothing.
—- eg: secure foothold in the U.S. the land of opportunities. Gaining traction year after year. I am reaching my turning points steadily. Last one was my priority date becoming current.
—- eg: find a women good enough, who likes me. Turning point was 2005.
—- [] eg: underfucked for years
My traction secrets? intimacy calendar. See https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/47636/21-jan-counselling/
—- [ct] eg: ROTI family outing — The tcost of outing was prohibitive. ROTI was always underwhelming if 5H+
My traction secrets? jogging
—- [cmr] eg: bedbugs — some consider them as untreatable. My vision secret? See bedbug heuristics:where, how many,spreading speed,weekly check
—- [ch] eg: use paper as /dashboard/ — more effective than technologies
hidden barrier of effectiveness: access .. paper is far more accessible in writing or display
—- [chm] eg: mosquito .. screen is economical, durable. Additional traction secret: avoid tear at the edges.
hidden barrier of effectiveness: inconvenience.. The suction lamp takes 10% of the effort of other solutions.
—- 1169 main door too heavy and need 3 magnets… My vision secret? friction pad underneath the door is cheaper, far easier to install (no drilling) and more effective
—- [h] door closer detachable middle rod ..
hidden barrier and vision is the tilting angle… when too sloped, it would rub hard on the top surface of the swinging door, and cause a growing problem.
—– [] hair drooping over forehead .. I always had to visit a barber. My vision secret? This part grows faster than all other parts, so I could cut it short by myself.

===== as student
—- [et] improve English vocab and aim to have enough to express myself in writing and carry a conversation
—- [et] improve English listening and aim to follow BBC radio
In terms of listening, this goal is harder because the other person can’t slow down and repeat for me.
—- [et] earliest defining example: Chinese compo — My “traction” secrets to start gaining traction?

  • Use as many nice phrases as possible to describe details;
  • Develop sufficient vocabulary to describe vague or complex sentiments
  • free-flow writing

Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.

===== career
—- [hmt] eg: java (and c++) IV stardom — Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.
My traction secrets? I failed many interviews until I found out what valuable questions to focus on

C++ journey was more winding. My traction required more interviews and easier interviews.

HFT c++IV are still too hard.

hidden barrier: need to impress the interviewers in some tech domain
—- WallSt-pro status — achieved in 2010 after GS.
My traction secrets? not GS trec, not dnlg, but java IV skill !
—- [ce] tech career longevity — against churn. We all envy the doctors.
My vision secrets? I found a “way” to this goal, via WallSt contract market
—- [et] c++ IV, and c++/java combo — envied for years those who can pass C++ interviews. This battle is much harder and longer than the java battle. My traction secret? Here are some

  • bet on the topics. Go skin-deep [1] on a wide (wider than java?) range of paper-tiger topics, but go deeper on several core topics. See c++11,sockets,IPC in QnA IV #Ash.S
    • [1] earlier I overspent myself on too many secondary topics.
  • Use HFT c++ interviews as training only; count successes only at Type1 and Type3 c++ interviews. Focus on outscoring the competition at these easier contests.

 

NUS^UChicago: %%grades

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_sinkingXp

— my academic race during NUS vs UChicago years
In my initial NUS years I was confident about hitting A’s. I was well above average in my cohort of mostly NS-men. I started somewhere close to the Dean’s List but gradually dropped to just above average. In the crucial Year4, I scored lots of C’s and D’s. In hind sight, I was losing my position in the more important “second half”. I ended up with Upper2ndClass honors. Probably I was outshone by classmates who caught up from behind.

In UChicago, I had the reverse experience. I started with low expectations — a pass in every subject. Then I emerged well above average and scored mostly A’s. I maintained high grades all the way, finishing in AAAA-. In the beginning I felt “A is long shot; B would be good; C enough” Perhaps I moved up the competition over the 3 years.

Q: was my UChicago grades as-expected and a foregone conclusion?
A: Obviously not. As the oldest student, I was hoping for a few B’s and mostly C’s. I impressed and exceeded myself, largely due to my outstanding effort. So the top grades are a real ROTI.

— dean’s list fixation.. We all have limited laser energy, unable to examine every concept in depth. The NUS dean’s list concept is never critically examined , and allowed to roam free, and often dominate my self-assessment of JLCJ (江郎才尽). Similarly, the 1stClassHonors concept is also poorly examined, and served to reinforce the same self-assessment. A Dean’s List student (Kar Peo?) may also suffer a JLCJ inferiority. She may point out that she only won twice, out of luck. She may lament about her current income, or her interview performance,,,

I tend to dismiss or forget my book prize, my 2Y EDB full scholarship and my academic achievements before and after NUS.

20 years after graduating from NUS, one thing I remember about my NUS benchmark performance (relative to my earlier schools) was the 2nd-class honors.  In hindsight, I guess a big reason was the final year project (sinking), or perhaps having two D’s (sinking) automatically disqualifies me for first-class honors. There’s no point analyzing it, since we have no verifiable or inside knowledge.

After a good freshman year when I almost made it to Dean’s list, the NUS benchmarks gradually eroded/decimated my positive self-image as a top student, as benchmarked to my cohort. My self-evaluation went through an “NUS-recalibration“. In contrast, my primary schools, Shiyan, HJC, A-levels and Uchicago all gave me better grades than NUS. End-to-end, I developed very early a self-image (reputation too) as a competent, almost top student, up to NUS Y1, and finally revived it at UChicago.

I didn’t get near the top in NUS and finished just above average, but then in UChicago I scored well above average. In terms of GPA there’s no ranking but I assume I /finished/ near the top.

— the sinking feeling with the D’s .. As described in the “sinking feeling” blogpost, the two D’s in NUS brought down my hope of postgrad in a top university. I thought to myself “no chance for any postgrad in a top university, given the many D’s and C’s on my transcript”. In 1993, I missed the chance to get a branded degree. (K.Hu also mis chance, due to ill health.) By 1998, the prospect diminished further. I was lagging behind my peers, with their prestigious degrees in MIT, Purdue. The prestige really bothered me on and off for decades.

Shiyan also gave me a sinking experience in 1989 保送高中. Similarly, the Dean’s List is determined by the school based purely on academic competition (rather than students applying to an external entity). In this sense, UChicago treated me arguably better than Shiyan or NUS. Be Grateful to UChicago. 饮水思源.

— renaissance @ UChicago..

UChicago believed in me.. As explained in teams who chose me≠2ndClass, UChicago reviewed many applicants with self-statements and professor recommendations, and they liked my profile.

UChicago accepted my application despite my NUS grades. I ought to be Grateful. (I guess my application essay helped as it was very personal and truthful. ) My UChicago grades were mostly A’s with two B’s. Self-image restored. Grateful again. This qualifies as one of the G3 ROI’s of my huge allocation to UChicago.

Q: Between the two, do I rather have better grades at NUS or UChicago?
A: Obviously UChicago, because of the prestige and calibre.
A: also, I want my “last grades” to be highest, Ending on a high note. This result is much better than the alternative scenario: NUS [1st-class honors, Dean’s list] -> UChicago [mediocre grades]. I would have felt that I’m only good enough for Singapore , not strong enough on the world stage…

Without uchicago uplifting, my mental self-portrait would be permanently blemished with tiny scars, labelled with a B .. all due to the NUS grades [2nd class]. Look at Venkat of OC, Gary.G and the Shankar of Polaris. No amount of professional accomplishment would be sufficient to overcome that permanent label. The most one can do about that label, is to look at the big picture and refuse to be enslaved by the label.

Q: how common and unremarkable was my benchmark improvement after NUS 江郎才尽? Would I predict the same for other bright but mediocre students like Venkat (OC), Rahul, Genn,,,?
A: I won’t predict the same for them.

Looks like I fared much better in math than engineering!

Q: Did I end up on a high note due to luck, effort, or something else?

— coding IV vs theoretical IV.. self-perception

  1. The NUS grades “re-calibration” cast a long shadow over my self-confidence, esp. in the crucial game(s) of tech interview.
  2. Once I entered WallSt 10 years later , I started cracking a series of QQ interviews and regained my self-confidence in my mental power.
  3. Then came the web2.0 CIV. So far I had mixed but slowly improving results, as recorded in the Pass/Fail blogpost. Those Fail experience echoes the NUS experience of re-calibration at NUS exams. In my discussions with friends, I have repeatedly linked these two experiences.

Note multi-threading CIV and Probability IV (not CIV) are my favorite games. BigO CIV is a second favorite. Math-oriented CIV is a third favorite, including geometry, counting permutation/combinations. In these games, most candidates have no clue no insight, but sometimes I have some. The more theoretical and abstract, the less likely I get outpaced by other candidates.

I want my UChicago (strong) grades to strengthen my self-confidence in future interviews. Self-talk, self-explanation is key.

44Lifestyle升 {2019

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_soul_search

See also growth plateau: 江河日下

* Memorable? I won’t bend over backward to make this blogpost memorable. Right now it simply lacks a good title to be memorable. 升 is shorter than 进步 i.e. improvement. I will hope to make at least some items memorable.
* Unique? Yes I want to make this blogpost unique. Let’s avoid the familiar themes, and focus on the unsung heroes.

PFF and gz are usually not lifestyle.

  • [i=internal, often fundamental change in attitude, focus..]
  • [d=detachment needed]
  • [q=sustainable improvement? questionable]
  • [w=wellness]
  • [v=vague]
  • [z = zqbx required, as we hit resistance in the improvement journey.]
  • [$=entails a non-trivial level of lifestyle creep]

— (worthy of a standalone bpost) Improving on my already-comfortable carefree lifestyle.. 更上一层楼. more wellbeing to the xpSelf

dissatisfaction blackholes .. offers another viewpoint on the same list items. That viewpoint is negative (BLACKhole)

I want to avoid yet another forgettable blogpost. I want the list items to be highly specific, selective/discriminatory. Need to avoid the familiar, high-level or vague items.

  • [w v] early rise ..
  • [z] more standing? Currently 1-2H a day though my intuition tells me “insufficient”.
  • [z] daily yoga increase to 3 minutes
  • [z] coding drill .. some fuxi or some new problems
  • more math facetimes .. extremely time consuming but worth it
  • — the familiar,
  • [z] BMI deep green zone
  • [z] recreational piano
  • more smoothie, less solid foods

— (worthy of a standalone bpost) tiny lifestyle 升 to be singled out and celebrated (organized by category, unsorted)

  • I stitched my pockets to be handphone-friendly
  • suction lamp for mosquito
  • hook/clip for MRT card
  • — tech .. such as [dq$] wpress@dhost
  • [dq] low cost 2-printer setup ≠ creep
  • laptop lock [ff] to reduce my worry
  • gd2 alias to reduce git conflict
  • [d] no worry about idd calling card expiry
  • [dq] unlimited outgoing minutes
  • See also laptop habits
  • — wellness ..
  • [w] push-up with mat (knee cushion)
  • [w] My lotus@mrt practice is improving. I now sit on a plastic bag, so my pants are well-protected and my worry and suspicion about invisible dirt is significantly reduced.
  • [w] workout without expensive stuff ..  I can now use stairs, lunges, jump-rope, yoga block, exercise mat, jump-rope .. low cost and useful
  • [q] easier flossing, with handles

— major lifestyle 升.. Note I want to focus more on effort, less on results.

  • recreational MOETF .. active learning under low stress .. would be improvement on lifestyle, but for many people the effort becomes for-profit rather than for-fulfillment/fun
  • [w] a lot more veggie salad, thanks to maid
  • [w v] yoga reboot
  • [w] more chia
  • [w] elimination of starch and fat in office, under work stress. I used to eat many snacks of biscuits, nuts, .. esp. in late afternoon.
  • [w] family dinner skipped most of the time
  • [w] starch — quit rice for 2 months from Sep 2019
  • [z] raw veg, smoothie, delay meals
  • [w] ice cream — now buying small pieces not in bulk
  • [wq$] classpass .. better than realYoga not only in price
  • [w] late dinner habit
  • [w] resist: dinner on the table when not hungry
  • [w] cake history habit
  • [q] intimacy? Not sustainable 🙁 but let’s just enjoy when we are able to
  • [dq] much more time on reflective writing [emails , blogging ,,]
  • [q] base camp protocol with boy.. Is it lifestyle improvement?
  • — time mgmt
  • higher productivity on commute .. see separate blogpost
  • recreational xx using print media .. see blogpost
  • .. more reading vacations, esp. in office, rather than on commute
  • fewer movie trips, more workout on each trip
  • Reduced the frequency of outing with boy, to a more realistic level. Those trips help bonding, but at extremely high tcost and not cost-effective at all.
  • free books + mag, as a recreation, less movie
  • [v] more quiet idle time … ?
  • [q] weekend hours spent on projects, to massively reduce weekday work load
  • carving out quiet hours in office: mornings, evenings, weekends
  • — familiar lifestyle 升
  • [i] /repertoire/ of new workouts .. stairs, squat, boxing, jump-rope outside office,,,
  • [w] temptations identified — wrong food, wrong time, wrong qty
  • [wq$] home standing desk, with headphone. To sweeten the deal, I set up A95 + lamp + printer
  • [w] 11pm craving effectively managed
  • [w] home-made milkshake