Tag: t_stillVague

Sys2: attention, self-control, cognitive effort

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k_quietime

Chapters 2+3 of [[thinking fast and slow]] are about cognitive attention, self-control,,, I will try to use the precise wording of the author.

“..a well-established proposition — both self-control and cognitive effort are forms of mental work”, that require mental energy. The mental energy reserve is limited. Cognitively busy individuals tend to exhibit reduced self-control; After long periods of self-control, we tend to forget things, make mistakes in judgement or in our work.

“One of the significant discoveries of cognitive psychologists is that switching from one task to another is effortful…. The ability to control attention is not simply a measure of intelligence; measures of efficiency in the control of attention predict performance of air traffic controllers and of Israeli Air Force pilots beyond the effects of intelligence.”

— quietime .. [in office or morning quietime or late night] are “easier” in terms of attention control. In my quietime, I can control when to switch context, rather than dictated by external factors. My attention is easily controlled by myself.

— self control
eg: jogging and instructor-led classes require less System2 resources [mental energy] because no self-control needed. After a lot of mental work, I tend to prefer these /automatic/ workouts.
eg: when employees are engaged in cognitive work, they tend to sit down rather than using standing desk
eg: office stash and Bayonne stash … are easier because less self-control needed, even when I engage in demanding work.

eg: when I’m busy with study or work, I feel the need for comfort food, hopefully my stash has the healthy varieties like fruits, milk, fish,,,
jolt: Some people go for cigarette or alcohol. Note I’m not talking about stress per se, but mental work.

— speed coding is exhausting.. “The most effortful forms of (Sys2) slow thinking are those that require you to think fast.”
— slow pace in mvea and epa teams .. precious. I won’t trade these slow jobs for a lucrative but fast-paced job.
— “responding kindly to a family member’s bad behavior .. requires self-control”, which is effort. So this is harder to achieve if you are mentally tired, under stress, or your System2 is already engaged

##[18] life enriched: 5 subtle factors #yoga,wifi

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k_soul_search

  • frequent exercise classes
  • wifi in many shops nearby. Ever since 1995 Ginza Plaza McDonald’s…
  • —food: healthy, tasty and high-end
  • lots of fancy fruits
  • fish — but not fried
  • breakfast porridge
  • green-machine

—home location factors .. expensive  not “subtle”

    • well-maintained street
    • short commute by bike (or train). Unlike many of my peers, I just can’t get used to long commute
    • parks or waterfront nearby? actually not so important. See Parks: less important than well-maintained street
    • time for exercise, family .. rather than long hours “wasted” on commute or in office.

 

##hidden barrier #AMB,BMI,

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k_Promethean_struggle

Barriers are sometimes /insurmountable/ until you identify/perceive them. Once you focus on a barrier, it may become a smaller barrier.

For the below examples, the barrier is internal and hard to identify. It requires some self-knowledge, self-discovery. The struggle, the endeavor is self-mastery, self-motivation.  (The two posts on traction/vision show _other_ hidden barriers. )

— hidden barrier: expRatio .. prevented me from achieving the SP500’s return for many years. Another “hidden barrier” is the unknown fact that no other stock market is nearly as strong as the U.S.

== learning skills
— hidden barrier: boy’s academic motivation .. all the “helps” are insufficient and often unrequested.
In 2021 boy actually requested tuition help on math.

In P1, boy’s English spelling for 10 words .. until he had the will, even 3 hours were insufficient
— hidden barrier: grandpa learning computers .. I guess the barrier is not so invisible.
— coding drill .. for many people in my cohort, spare time is not that scarce. There’s some partially hidden barrier such as lack of positive feedback or progress.
I wrote to Sophia Cui about the 996 work hours…
== wellness examples
— BMI .. See BMI 进步=harder]SG despite my low-starch, raw veg/fruit, smoothie diet, I still hit some hidden barrier
— flossing .. somehow, I am unable to floss 100 times in 6M, due to some hidden barrier
One hidden barrier is convenience.. see https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/16627/brushingflossing-frequency-beats-duration/
— 5/wk workout .. most individuals in my cohort couldn’t achieve it due to some hidden barrier. Time, motivation are the visible obstacles. One hidden barrier is unrealistic target.
— yoga self practice .. hidden barriers could be

  • Not accepting easy stretches. Pushing myself too hard. No joy. Not sustainable.
  • I don’t notice any progress .. Promethean struggle

Bullets firing into an invisible barrier

44Lifestyle升 {2019

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_soul_search

See also growth plateau: 江河日下

* Memorable? I won’t bend over backward to make this blogpost memorable. Right now it simply lacks a good title to be memorable. 升 is shorter than 进步 i.e. improvement. I will hope to make at least some items memorable.
* Unique? Yes I want to make this blogpost unique. Let’s avoid the familiar themes, and focus on the unsung heroes.

PFF and gz are usually not lifestyle.

  • [i=internal, often fundamental change in attitude, focus..]
  • [d=detachment needed]
  • [q=sustainable improvement? questionable]
  • [w=wellness]
  • [v=vague]
  • [z = zqbx required, as we hit resistance in the improvement journey.]
  • [$=entails a non-trivial level of lifestyle creep]

— (worthy of a standalone bpost) Improving on my already-comfortable carefree lifestyle.. 更上一层楼. more wellbeing to the xpSelf

dissatisfaction blackholes .. offers another viewpoint on the same list items. That viewpoint is negative (BLACKhole)

I want to avoid yet another forgettable blogpost. I want the list items to be highly specific, selective/discriminatory. Need to avoid the familiar, high-level or vague items.

  • [w v] early rise ..
  • [z] more standing? Currently 1-2H a day though my intuition tells me “insufficient”.
  • [z] daily yoga increase to 3 minutes
  • [z] coding drill .. some fuxi or some new problems
  • more math facetimes .. extremely time consuming but worth it
  • — the familiar,
  • [z] BMI deep green zone
  • [z] recreational piano
  • more smoothie, less solid foods

— (worthy of a standalone bpost) tiny lifestyle 升 to be singled out and celebrated (organized by category, unsorted)

  • I stitched my pockets to be handphone-friendly
  • suction lamp for mosquito
  • hook/clip for MRT card
  • — tech .. such as [dq$] wpress@dhost
  • [dq] low cost 2-printer setup ≠ creep
  • laptop lock [ff] to reduce my worry
  • gd2 alias to reduce git conflict
  • [d] no worry about idd calling card expiry
  • [dq] unlimited outgoing minutes
  • See also laptop habits
  • — wellness ..
  • [w] push-up with mat (knee cushion)
  • [w] My lotus@mrt practice is improving. I now sit on a plastic bag, so my pants are well-protected and my worry and suspicion about invisible dirt is significantly reduced.
  • [w] workout without expensive stuff ..  I can now use stairs, lunges, jump-rope, yoga block, exercise mat, jump-rope .. low cost and useful
  • [q] easier flossing, with handles

— major lifestyle 升.. Note I want to focus more on effort, less on results.

  • recreational MOETF .. active learning under low stress .. would be improvement on lifestyle, but for many people the effort becomes for-profit rather than for-fulfillment/fun
  • [w] a lot more veggie salad, thanks to maid
  • [w v] yoga reboot
  • [w] more chia
  • [w] elimination of starch and fat in office, under work stress. I used to eat many snacks of biscuits, nuts, .. esp. in late afternoon.
  • [w] family dinner skipped most of the time
  • [w] starch — quit rice for 2 months from Sep 2019
  • [z] raw veg, smoothie, delay meals
  • [w] ice cream — now buying small pieces not in bulk
  • [wq$] classpass .. better than realYoga not only in price
  • [w] late dinner habit
  • [w] resist: dinner on the table when not hungry
  • [w] cake history habit
  • [q] intimacy? Not sustainable 🙁 but let’s just enjoy when we are able to
  • [dq] much more time on reflective writing [emails , blogging ,,]
  • [q] base camp protocol with boy.. Is it lifestyle improvement?
  • — time mgmt
  • higher productivity on commute .. see separate blogpost
  • recreational xx using print media .. see blogpost
  • .. more reading vacations, esp. in office, rather than on commute
  • fewer movie trips, more workout on each trip
  • Reduced the frequency of outing with boy, to a more realistic level. Those trips help bonding, but at extremely high tcost and not cost-effective at all.
  • free books + mag, as a recreation, less movie
  • [v] more quiet idle time … ?
  • [q] weekend hours spent on projects, to massively reduce weekday work load
  • carving out quiet hours in office: mornings, evenings, weekends
  • — familiar lifestyle 升
  • [i] /repertoire/ of new workouts .. stairs, squat, boxing, jump-rope outside office,,,
  • [w] temptations identified — wrong food, wrong time, wrong qty
  • [wq$] home standing desk, with headphone. To sweeten the deal, I set up A95 + lamp + printer
  • [w] 11pm craving effectively managed
  • [w] home-made milkshake

 

## inflections [def]%% life #O-level

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Compared to turning point, inflection is more gradual, less abrupt, more evolutionary less revolutionary, visible mostly from a distance

k_tectonic

To avoid becoming yet another forgettable blogpost, this theme has to be more precise, more selective/discriminatory.. See the section below on disqualified items.

— disambiguation

  • a “turning point” marks a change in direction like up->down,
  • A pivot point is like a inflection but not so explicit, so definitive, even in hindsight

Infection can be the transition from zigzag, /unsteady/ growth or slow-growth into a sustained fast-growth phases, as in the bamboo tree parable. There is often a previous trajectory of less visible growth. Interesting, the transition from visible growth into less visible growth is seldom described as inflection. Not a point in my life, but the covid infection goes through slow phases and fast phases. The “slow>fast” or “fast>slow” transitions are both described as inflection points.

An inflection point is therefore more subtle , less visible than the other “points”.

  • .. Unlike a turning point, an inflection is more often recognized in /hindsight/. For example, a breakthrough inflection point is often recognized after an accumulation of steady focus.
  • .. A highly visible inflection point is often seen and described as a turning point.

==== examples:
[l=Leverage (sustained focus on a strategic component) is a common feature of inflection and breakthrough.]
[u=unexpected (sometimes unbelievable) success either before or after the inflection point]
[g=gz]
[f=PFF]
[e=edu .. deserves more sunshine]
— [elu] G5 inflection: 1987 Grade 8: improving Chinese composition
One of the earliest inflection points in my life experience of resilience, /triumph/, overcoming the odds
— [elu] G9 inflection points: English
* [u] Inflection point: early 1993 passing O-level English by ULondon .. effectively sealed up my Achilles’ heel in my college plan. I knew at that point that I could now afford to fail General Paper. Natural trajectory which started in late 1991. My initial standard was very low and I received many inapplicable tips, tried many ineffective methods. I had to focus on 1) writing 2) listening 3) vocab 4) speaking. I soon took off and reached this inflection point.
* milestone point: Sometimes in my 40’s R.Teo said I was better at writing some important letter than he and many Singaporeas can write.
* Inflection phase: Sometime in my late 40’s, I started to notice the common standard among many well-spoken Singaporean English speakers, and I had reached a comparable standard, in terms of clarity — articulation, simple or sophisticated vocab, natural sentence construction… Am still in the inflection phase.

— [eu] G15 inflection point: Jan 1992 joining HJC .. helped me prepare all of my subjects including Chinese!
Inflection?? natural trajectory started in Shiyan, but I was lucky to avoid any further delay in SG as happened to many China students of my age.

Inflection? Yes in terms of my “condition” to survive in SG (as a student, then a professional). Yes in terms of my academic path. As of 1991, it was not a given that I would be accepted at HJC. I was actively planning to go back to Beijing. HJC teachers helped paved my way out of the woods.

— [eu] G8 pivot pointS: joining Shiyan, HJC, UChicago, and earning top grades. A related inflection point is the steady ascent of NUS in global standing, after I graduated! The common theme — these exclubs help me stand taller among many specific groups.  They feed an ego in me — I’m still watchful.

Infection? Before each inflection point, I was experiencing much slower growth in my academic self-esteem.
— [gu] G3 inflection point: Mar 2010  joining WallSt contract market ..
impact: dev-till-70 and career longevity
Inflection? Yes in terms of career trajectory/outlook, income, work-life balance, survival strategy.
— [gu] G19 inflection point: 2010 starting c++ journey after the java journey had /plateaued/ for years.
— [glu] G9 inflection point: 2017 when I started passing multiple c++ interviews.
— [gu] G15 inflection point: Dec 1999 joining Catcha
Inflection? Transition from electronics to IT domain was inevitable. If not 1999, then 2000s. Still, this was transtion from slow-growth to fast-growth
— [glu] inflection point: joining GS .. logical consequence of my entry to U.S. Even without GS, in hindsight I would likely end up on WallSt, because I had a technical mind, a strong foundation for body-building, and a good command of English. However as of 2007 this was an unexpected success.

Inflction? Yes. Before this point I was learning about U.S. tech interviews.

In terms of salary, I immediately broke into the lucrative world of WallSt, and pulled ahead of my cohort.

==== There are actually rather few true inflection points. Below are some of the vague items
— [u] G5 breakthrough: Dec 2005 met my dream girl..
Pivot! Until then I had always looked for other types !
— [u] G5 turning point: 2018 breakaway from FOLB/FOMO [ exclub, OC-effective, branded college, high-flyers, ] In 2018 I started sharing with Kyle and grandpa my breakaway and my rejection of the conventional ideals

Inflection? Earlier, my successE was in slow growth.
— [flu] G9 pivot/breakthrough: 2005 buying #04-116 after becoming SG citizen.
impact: It helped me buy the bigger flat #2-1173, and served as a bedrock of my family asset.

Inflection: Recognized a decade later. Before this point, I was always 无产阶级.|
— [fu] G9 pivot point: Aug 2015 choosing BGC (instead of SG condo) .. A bold start of a new “movement”
Inflection? Recognized years later. Before this point, I was only dreaming of owning multiple properties, in China, SG, Malaysia or U.S.
— [g] G11 turning point: 2017 when I changed to lower gear in my drive for high salary, muscle building… and shifted focus to carefree ezlife
Until this inflection, my successE was in slow growth.
— [gu] G11 breakthrough pivot point: Dec 2016 H1b approval -> reenter U.S. -> GC.. I think the GC was swift, with far-reaching consequences. The trajectory started in my teenage years, and I always had a longing for a U.S. experience

[20←04]changes: TPY泳池reflection #61kg

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k_tectonic

See also ##factors underpinn`key changes since first summer]US — a similar soul-searching.

In mid March 2020, I visited the same Toa Payoh swimming pool and couldn’t help comparing with my last bachelor phase around age 30, when I had a weekly afternoon swimming routine over a few months, around my self-employed years.

An exhausting exercise often leads to deeper reflection and a fresher look. As I reflect on the various changes (in my life) since then, I noticed my main focus starts to /drift/ from wellness to career , then to family livelihood. Somehow at my current age, wellness is Still not receiving as much sunshine as deserved.

  • — a random list, but I want to have some items bubbling up, like unconventional and specific items
  • i was pushing myself harder on coblood, self-improvement, biz wing. I felt completely left out, in the outskirts… watching the high flyers flying inside the walled city. We can look at SWOT in the Snd context.
  • UChicago — I didn’t have UChicago brand. I didn’t have any insider info on the global elite universities. Also, I saw myself as 江郎才尽 after my EE-DL and FCH failures.
  • [g] java — I couldn’t access java as a huge, lucrative pie
  • [g] livelihood security — I didn’t have a dev-till-40 plan (let alone 70) or the associated security in livelihood for a family of four. In contrast, I did have the security in livelihood for myself, to the extent that I quit my job to pursue my dream of self-employment.
  • [g] I had no idea how to get into U.S.. I had some appreciations for Singapore citizenship but no deep appreciation that I have now, after comparing with U.S.
  • [w] I didn’t know any way to reach 61 kg
  • [w] I didn’t have my currene level of commitment to yoga
  • [w] I was then more committed to weekly workout but not about yoga.
  • [g] I didn’t know any way to earn more than 5k. I didn’t know my killer talent at theoretical QQ topics like low-level, math, concurrency principles
  • [f] I was young and healthy and didn’t care to know the low cost and relatively efficient long-term care infrastructure in SG, possibly supported by government.
  • [f] shield plans — I didn’t know the Shield plans would be strategic to my long term financial planning
  • — some of the familiar, the obvious or the high-level vague items:
  • [f] I already had a good burn rate and savings habit, but my NAV was much lower.
  • [f] I had no overseas properties in Beijing, S.E.Asia; I had yet to see windfall in my HDB flat
  • [w=wellness]
  • [f=cashflow]
  • [g=gz]

Q: Looking through these changes, what is the #1 turning point in my life since then? It will not be wellness (my wellness has always been pretty good), or financial.
A: my crossing of the moat (i.e. tech screening) into WallSt dev job market, and becoming a proven veteran in c++/java.

reading: cf other Recreations/sinks #zqbx#w1r4

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k_soul_search

“Recreational reading habit” is a loose term. (As an analogy “Asia” actually refers to many distinct regions like Indian subcontinent, S.E.Aaia etc.) The current (last 5Y) sample of identifiable content domains for reading :

  • tech (career-oriented) reading .. is a leading exclusion.
  • .. ▲C/C++ .. special compared to java
  • .. ▼new tech .. tend to be more recreational, including python
  • wellness .. brain gym, early preparation for aging… magazines like RafflesMedical
  • [8  ]▲parenting .. Blogging > magazines
  • [10]▲personal finance .. Blogging > magazines
  • [3  ]▲wellness .. Blogging > magazines
  • [30] self-help .. motivation, reconciliation, time mgmt.. Blogging
  • [30] Ch/En vocab, literature, pictorial _ancient_ history; science; textbooks on econs/psychology/finance.. magazines > textbooks
  • [20] Greater China (and U.S.) contemporary history/society/economy.. magazines
  • [10 = 10Y reading interest]

— energy sinks .. are a superset of recreations
[z=zqbx recreation. Recreations can be consistent or inconsistent with zqbx.]

I tend to watch video, browse online or blog for a break (from work  or study), but now I think reading a is superior break.

— alternative_to ⇒ [!z] movies or shopping in TPY central .. Reading as an alternative reward, unwind. Some people even take a reading vacation… am warming up to it.
sugg: go to bus interchange, or McDonald, or MRT
— alternative_to ⇒ online reading + blogging
For more than 50% of the topics I’m learning, books/magazines are more in-depth, much easier for _DRAM_refresh_
Advantage of online reading is the possibility of blogging. Online reading often involves wikipedia++ and curiositySou
— alternative_to ⇒ [!z] video_xx
— alternative_to ⇒ [!z] online news reading (+ curiosity search) .. Magazine/newspaper/online news reading is far less focused than magazines or books, and often degenerates into aimless curiosity reading. Very poor ROTI (short or long-term)

News is a huge and established industry as folks like to know and talk about news. There’s a lot of effort by credible writers.  Therefore, there’s valuable content but we must be selective to maintain a minimum ROTI.

— competition ⇒ [   ] frenDialog by email (better than chat) + blogging
— competition ⇒ [!z] frenDialog by phone or meet-up
half of my peers (young or old) seem to spend bulk of “disposable leisure time” on meet-up and phone calls. I know myself. I derive more joy/satisfaction from other recreations

— competition: inferior_to ⇒ [z] workout
reading habit can easily lead to wellness stagnation [implies slow decline due to aging]
— competition: inferior_to ⇒ [z] self-learning music.. Learning takes huge amount of time but is accumulative.
— #1 competition ⇒ recreational[3] blogging .. blogging is more active and accumulative. I can revise my opinions in my own words.
Over the long term, blogging (not reading) improves your 1) expressive/articulation capabilities in specific languages … 2) complex thought-organization
[3] non-gz

— minor competitions
⇒ [z] exp recon
⇒ [z] recreational investing

##which weaknessES limit def[LifeChances] #driv`,stature

Posted on by tiger40490

k_soul_search

Everyone goes through difficulties in life due to this or that weakness. Among them, you will surely need to overcome or deal with 1 or 2 “key weaknesses of your life”– personal handicaps. I would say your limitations basically determine your life chances, like boundary conditions in PDE.

[c/C = I can see some specific life chances affected by this weakness]

  • Does CAD affect my life chances? It does if it hits me in my 30s, not if in my 80s
  • [C] handicap – exams… Many people are outside the top 20% at studies, but become successful professionally.
  • [c] weakness — office smarts, corporate maneuver.. seem to limit my “opportunities” within a corporate environment. However, as Honglin might say, my hands-on tech skills provide arguably better career longevity, which is a big part of life-chances.
  • .. Therefore, the hands-on tech weaknesses of those corporate managers might be a limiting weakness, too!
  • handicap .. Empathy was a personal handicap but primarily in office. Interpersonal and relationship skills are not so obviously weak.
  • — financial skills
  • [c] handicap — saving, self-discipline
  • [C] weakness — rEstate … In the East Asia context, not having a rEstate position early in your life limits your freedom and financial high/low ground.
  • weakness — stock picking… During each major downturn (1997 Asian, dot-com, SARS, 2008 GFC, 2020Covid), there were major buying opportunities. You won’t need stock picking per se, but stock picking would be the ultimate skill to improve your freedom, financial high/low ground…
  • — physical limitations
  • Weakness – my lower-(and upper-)body flexibility. This has not affected my life at all. (In older years this might increase my risk of injury.)
  • Weakness – coordination skills for basketball… Look at some of classmates in high school. Definitely affects self-confidence among peers.
  • Weakness – middle-distance running… This is a bigger thing in Singapore due to NS fitness test. Not a big problem in other countries. However, endurance does help heart/lung and aging.
  • intimacy .. see below
  • [C] Weakness – overweight… Much bigger impact, as it affects dating, health, longevity, parenting…
  • [c] Weakness – stature…. A bigger problem for guys in China as it affects dating.

— in this blog, life chances are something personal .. My life chances represent the chances I want for my life. I may want the same chances for my daughter, but she would ultimately decide what chances she wants for her life.

eg: Some active runners like YY.T would feel deprived in terms of life chances if affected by knee injury

eg: I want devTill70 as an “occupation”, so a drop in demand, or my JIV weakness would affect my life chance. For FIRE guys who want to retire early and enjoy life, this is not part of their life chances. See YY.T chat.

eg: You care about quality of intimacy into your 50s. But for your partner, intimacy is perhaps not part of her life chances. Sexual difficulties (like orgasmic dysfunction) doesn’t bother her.

— [c] driving vs [C] English .. Look at my friends Jun.Z and Alina… personal handicaps. English listening (more than speaking/writing) was a handicap in my earlier years in Singapore.

Many of my friends have a handicap in English writing. Consider my MLP colleagues vs Sophia/Y.Zhang/Rong.Zhu

Oral English has a lower entry barrier so fewer friends have that handicap but consider SY.Chang, Kevin/Gary, Rong

The English handicap affects half the “peers”, but driving handicap affects only me. Driving is a personal handicap, more physical than English language handicap. I need a much higher t$budget just for learning to drive. I already spent $2k+. Need to be $10k. The vehicle doesn’t have to be the strongest or “safest”. I would say average safety rating is sufficient.

Driving affects job choices, housing choices [SY.Chang was able to rent a home much further out from office], learning resources.

I would need a special budget for potential fines.

I also need a huge tBudget for learning and “managing” license + vehicle.

For the first 1 or 2 years, I should avoid driving the family at all. Even in local street, you can get hit or drive off the road and hit something dangerous.

##dissatisfaction blackholes ]utopia

Posted on by tiger40490

The fading of dissatisfaction … deserves more spotlight and should go into many of my lists in this blog.

k_X_focusing_illusion  k_tectonic

See also

Analogy: once a while, a university (or a government) would feel the pressue/urge to review international rankings, and identify any weakness [improvement areas].

Analogy: once a year, my employer would run an employee satisfaction survey to identify any weakness [gaps]. It is a consistent fixation/focus on the improvement areas.

In my carefree ezlife, my System2 often drifts towards the handful of familiar , often recurring, “dissatisfaction  magnetic_fields / blackholes“. Like in the analogies, this attention can be life-enhancing[3]. However, it can become /obsessive/, with a darker side. Consider the Focusing_Illusion.

[3] Jolt: if I continue to neglect workout, BMI,,, for too long, __zsms__ would likely grow
even though I put in more hours into my projects
even though I spend more time with kids

Here are the blackholes/magnetic_fields

  • Edyw issues
  • [h] BlueCoat derailers
  • [h] screen time
  • [h] FOLB for kids .. a successC domain. Serious dark side — acceptance of our kids as they are
  • .. not enough math facetime with kids
  • wellness decline .. workout frequency or physical capabilities [BMI is #1] .. a successZ and successE domain
  • BGC title transfer .. 
  • —— inactive (possibly dormant) blackholes/magnetic_fields
  • [h] burn, coblood waste .. eg: too much blogg. In my carefree ezlife, this item is currently the most magnetic and potentially most obsessive
    jolt: I now value more sleep and more quiet IDLE time, with coblood waste + no burn
    visibleGrowth plateau .. is a related dissatisfaction but too vague to be included in this list.
  • .. too much t-allocation to pff/… not enough to tech or wellness
  • .. insufficient effort/successZ on stretch or chin-up
  • [h] underfucked
  • MOETF slow incremental growth .. as discussed with Aaron
  • unsatisfactory ROI .. in some investments
  • Jill’s investments .. Luckily the amount is a small risk capital.
  • minor inefficiencies .. including wastes, wasted opportunities to economize such as penalties, mrt_overcharge, cCard fees, lost “opportunities to save” at GEL, ikea returns, yoga studio discounts..
  • creep (small), splurge (big tickets) such as renovation
  • SWE insecurity .. aging, competition, churn,,, my primary lang@FT_job suffer churn or low demand
  • .. c++ critical mass maintenance .. insufficient refresh
  • .. coding drill
  • messy store room
  • not enough time with grandparents
  • meimei dental, myopia
  • [h] brank, OC-effectiveness, … are no longer so “magnetic”
  • many minor items in QuadrantNN
  • unsatisfied with wife… see section below

— In my younger years, I was “occasionally” dissatisfied with my wife (to a lesser extent, my son) in terms of attractiveness and “excellence”. See y I never complain ab%%wife’s learning/earning capacity.

This is a direct consequence of (more than ) a decade of selecting, courting, (also /distancing/ from) dozens of attractive young women, and idolizing (often Caucasian) cover girls and celebrities. Nowadays I’m satisfied with my woman, my gift from God.

I think my wife also experienced a fading dissatisfaction with me. To some (unknown) extent, the dissatisfaction was mutual and the fading happened in both directions.

This fading/waning/dissolution of dissatisfaction is a blessing, one of the most valuable, cherishable blessings. It’s a sign of mellow-up. In 2022 I enjoy our intimacy even more than our first year partly because I don’t compare my wife to other women.

The fading of dissatisfaction over my career is another important mellow-up experience.

— Focusing_Illusion can make the ulcer feel worse
— quadrants .. these items are quasi-permanent fixtures in quadrant II, even ICU
— tectonic plates visualization .. these “magnetic_fields” can be visualized as parts of the 4 tectonic plates [pff ; wellness;  工作; family]
Surprisingly, there is currently zero active magnetic_field related to pff.
— [h=mellow-up, harmony, balance] .. for most if not all of these items, due to the darker side, I badly need to mellow up and achieve a basic harmony, and avoid the /obsessive/ attention.

In other words, the attention need to be controlled and kept in balance.

Also, harmony is not passive acceptance.
— sunshine .. I often feel one of these items is /deprived/ of sunshine, leading to a fake sense of /crisis/. Serenity and harmony needed.
— plowback .. related to insecurity and sense of impermanence. I often feel an urge to plowback and save my current carefree ezlife in a battery, but the battery and the plowback is usually /imperfect/
— 4 def of success .. is a good framework

## non-trivial stress@ lifestyle ADJustment #DIY

Posted on by tiger40490

Adj [adjustment] refers to slow, gradual, often /drawn-out/ or long-term, changes in lifestyle or habits.

I have always said adjustment is stressful.

Multiple adjustments All-at-once can make us feel overwhelmed. I tend to relax or suspend some of my adjustments such as diet.

[f=financial]
[w=wellness]
[o=office or work]
— [w] diet restrictions like starch, sugar.. Even salt reduction can add to stress
— [w] practice daily stretches to slow down loss of flexibility due to aging
— reduce A/C reliance. Rely on more natural solutions
— [o] restriction on blogging in GS office
— [f] burn rate reduction for big spenders. My key advantage over the average Americans.
— [f] babysit lots of investments, esp. active management of rental properties
— [f] U.S. style DIY home repair
— [w] early sleep .. mild stress, but the adjustment is hard to achieve.
— housing:
adj: much smaller homes than in the past… Some people probably find this adjustment hard
adj: driving as a daily routine… To avoid this adjustment, I have always stayed near connectivity hubs.
adj: long commute … I never really adjusted to this. This adjustment is a huge factor in my housing decision making.

— some common /lubricants/ and assistance for your adjustments:

  • cash reserve .. $50k adjustment fund after family migrating to U.S.
  • plenty of paid leaves .. see my le2Gerald
  • med bx
  • counselling support .. eg: covid19 lockdown. Local Chinese support group in the U.S.