k_mellow
living with a few guys for the past few days in BGC (also including the 2015 trip), my advantages, my achievements, my margin ahead of the pack became evident
- BMI, belly
- diet control, diet habit
- exercise
- burn rate
- time mgmt
- job strain (not “stress” or “effort”)
- income and stability thereof
- continuous, self-driven, joyful learning with plenty of DRAM-refresh and reinforcement and note-taking
- career security 20Y out
In a bold extension, I would also include my Wall St friends — My SG burn rate is much lower partly due to Melvin3. As a hands-on developer, my income security is stronger than half the VPs.
At a glance, most of my relative (not absolute) advantages lie in self-mgmt, and I didn’t say “self-restraint” or brute force willpower.
This advantage is only relative because am not perfect … there are some individuals with stronger willpower though they each has weaknesses in self-mgmt. When I find myself in a moment of weakness, I need to forgive and then accept myself, recognize this weakness as part of the human condition, and fight a bao3shan1 battle, refusing to give up.
— reconciliation: leadership, brank:
However strong my self-mgmt is, am not “effective” at achieving organizational goals. Those effective managers are often overweight, unfit, over-spending, failing in marriage, feeling insecure about retirement, or over-dependent on the current employer and therefore lack portable skills,,,,
I feel leadership and persuasion powers are overrated as all the employer put these skills at center stage. Like the Cultural revolution, I have been brainwashed in countless corporate training (eg: OC) to believe that personal-effectiveness is secondary to effectiveness through other people (see effectiveness: OCBC motto).
Q: why am I always apologetic and modest saying “ok I’m good at self-mgmt but I lack leadership, influencing, interpersonal,,,,”. All of THOSE yardsticks are secondary to my life now (and more so as I age) and I actually have basic competency levels on those fronts to do my professional job.
Those skills are not the “内力” as in kongfu novels.
This realization might be the beginning of an end to my lifelong self-pity, self-degrading, self-contempt about my leadership/ladder-climbing weaknesses.