reward daily effort by boy #grandpa

This kind of effort has been hard for boy. Here is my 2020 New plan: Every day, he can do something meaningful such as

  • tiptoe practice
  • Chinese
  • workout
  • help meimei learn math
  • teach mom some English words
  • help mom with chores
  • math
  • piano
  • any proposal by boy?

Every day either deduct $5 [1] if “not met” or pay him $1 if “met”. These sums are designed based on the belief that the daily targets are easily achievable without parent reminding him

Once he hits a full week, there could be a bonus, possibly zero. It could be a random amount up to $100, perhaps using a coin or a program he writes.

[1] grandpa suggests $2.

— Update during June holiday
Each day if boy meets the study timetable, as confirmed by mom, then $20 reward. If boy does math practice given by dad, then additional reward. A full week completed deserves a bonus up to $100

— practical criteria for “meet”: 10m/day, Mom as witness
If on a given day we can’t verify and he gives a specific positive answer, then we assume he has hit the target.

My legwork — I have to ask him everyday “Did you meet the target?” It is a legwork I choose to take on. If one day I forget to ask, then by default we assume he has hit the target.

The bonus is based on a full week’s meets and need a bit more scrutiny. Dishonesty would be punished, not tolerated.

— It’s crucial that he agrees to the scheme.

“I did no wrong,y dad locked up@phone” #entitled

See earn his cooperation.

Q: “I did no wrong, y dad locked up my phone”
A: you exceeded daily screen time limit, not just gaming time limit.

Note academic benchmark are not a factor provided you put in effort.

— Arbitrary, impulsive punishment … is common but I will endeavour to minimize it.
I think arbitrary, impulsive penalty in phone lock-up is not same as other punishment, because phone is completely optional. Sachin doesn’t give reasons for lock-up.

The problem is entitlement, as I predicted in late 2020. No entitlement, then no justification needed.

You are good enough for me i.e.your dad

I told a Cigna counselor that I would tell the 11 year old tanbin that “Nobody is perfect or superpowerful. Everyone of us is weak including my dad.”

Ted Turner reportedly felt he was never good enough for his father. I want my kids to know they are good enough to be my kids.

eg: when criticizing kids on piano effort, remember their current effort level is already substantial. piano demands a commitment.