Tag: t_othRisk

specific topics prone to overthinking, but not ABOUT overthink

##[20]won%%battles against FOMO[def2] #mellow

Posted on by tiger40490

k_tectonic k_mellow .. k_X_FOMO_v_livelihood

See also not left-behind on Any front: real feat. I will keep these two blogposts separate for now. This blogpost is more about a list of big battles.  Every battle is a peer competition! In each battle, I had no choice but fight (I think my son may not want to fight). In 2019, I told grandpa that I felt having won the war so my fear of left-behind has /subsided/died down/ but not dead.

FOMO is an alias for kiasu and FOLB i.e. fear-of-left-behind, but for ease of searching I will keep FOMO unless FOLB is clearly less ambiguous.

[w=won or gone completely]

— In Singapore, the “kiasu” mentality is similar, as most of the battles are about peer-comparison or about “limited resources” such as education resources.

— [w] battle of 自己考进名校 — throughout my pre-U years, I shared the common fear that I might fail to get into a good-enough school

— [w] battle of mate-selection — For more than a decade in my younger days, I shared the fear (common among young men) that I might fail to find a good enough women… Consequence is quite serious.

I nearly lost this battle and was ready to live and die a bachelor. My winning chance on this battle dropped progressively to 20%.

— battle of start-up or tech career — fought in my 20’s and 30’s. XR still feels the FOMO vs the web2.0 guys.

— battle of body-building — QQ, CIV etc

— [w] battle of leadership career — either as architect or mgr. Until my 40’s, I have dreaded I might fail to climb up the management career high enough

One of the few battles I have lost and given up. Now I’m /mellow/.

— battle of academic kids — Now I still worry about my kids not growing up “academic” enough, or achieving enough.

This particular FOMO drives the (heavy-weight) housing decisions, esp. in the U.S. context.

— [w] battle of asset accumulation — From my 20’s till mid-forties, when I hear of other people’s property assets, I experience a FOMO anxiety.

Now I realize I have more than enough passive income.

— [w] battle of early retirement — including college funding + medical costs till twilight years.

— [w] battle against rising home price — mostly in China. I feel the pressure on the Chinese young professionals.

— [w] No battle of wellness — Somehow, I never needed to fight a battle of wellness. This real priority never rose high enough to become a visible battlefield.

— [w] No battle of dev-till-70 — my personal “endeavor”. No peer comparison

[20]G6 PERSONAL traits4carefree feat #ffree++

Posted on by tiger40490

k_tectonic

For a background on my current carefree status, see

see also ##lifelong Habits i wish to pass to next generation

In contrast to G4 PERSONAL advantages: Revealed over15Y #byHalf, this current blogpost explores a (hopefully) diverse range of “traits”.

Q: The attachment question — am I holding on to these “things” too tight?
A: yes to financial assets, health

If I must name top 3 (personal/non-personal) factors for my ffree relative to my peers, then 1) citizenship 2) burn 3) credit risk taking. However, this blogpost is more about personal traits for my self-made carefree status (I didn’t say “ffree”). In other words,

Q: Look at my (no-mean) achievements over the last 20Y in terms of “carefree”, what personal qualities, not external factors, do I attribute them to?

Shorter and specific answers best. Roughly ranked

  • [bp] 1) absorbency — joy of learning + body-building, esp. valuable in U.S. and c++/java market , not support or sys-admin or web dev.
    • [b] body-building success
  • [p] 4) self discipline, self-improvement, motivation (not “ambition”), focus on my priorities and giving up many battles.
  • [p] 6) focus on spare time — I got so much achieved in my spare time
  • —- the big, familiar items
  • [p] 2) wellness habits — confidence to keep working productively till old age
    • [bd] wellness condition
  • [bp] 3) burn rate — a frugal wife was my blessing
    • Avoid debt. Live within my means
  • [dp] 5) steadfast focus on non-work income, rather than windfall. My non-work income is key to my bare-bones ffree
    • calculated risk-taking, esp. credit risk
  • — other interesting traits
  • [p] resilience — (not “optimism” exactly) I have had my share of setbacks, adversities,,,
  • [p] reflective blogging habit — as a coping method. Self-knowledge
  • boycott to FOMO — see separate blogpost

Now, below are some of the personal qualities that I would not include in the heavy-hitter list. Some don’t contribute to ‘carefree‘ exactly. Some don’t qualify as ‘personal‘ qualities.

  • [p] careful planning of career and cash flow — to be elaborated
  • [bd] Singapore citizenship — (not so personal) esp. housing, CPF-life, resilient currency,, Some would name this as the #1 “carefree” factor but vast majority of Singapore citizens are not carefree.
  • [bd] stable marriage — my dumb luck or my karma? Doesn’t sound like a personal quality
  • [!d] credentials — UChicago and NUS, reputable ibanks. No attachment 🙂
  • [d] hand-picked collection of bx plans — (not a personal quality) medishield, eldershileld,,,
  • —
  • [b=a blessing]
  • [p=personality attribute]
  • [d=holding too tight, so detachment needed]

##[15]anxieties over last 10Y ranked

Posted on by tiger40490

–anxieties ( I didn’t say “stressors”) ranked roughly by … health effect

  • * [CI] #1 boss warning about performance. tremendous Blow to self-confidence. In GS, I used to get up in the morning feeling worried about my projects.
  • * [A] forced to look for new job. Remember GS and the shitty job at OC
  • * [AI] bitter quarrels with wife or parents
  • * [A] moving home
  • * [A] personal trading like FXO gone wrong. Requiring constant watch. Worst when it’s too big and complex
  • * [I] kids’ school marks .. (far) higher stress than non-academic subjects. See https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/2016/07/04/exam-pressure-without-valve/
  • * [I] weight (once 71 kg) and diet. I tend to have reasonable control.
  • * worry about specific health conditions. I tend to manage them systematically.
  • * [A] UChicago exams. See https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/2015/12/16/uchicago-study-does-add-to-the-stress/
  • * [C] kids’ weight problem and unhealthy diet
  • * [C] not making progress learning anything serious
  • * [AW] kids on a rampage
  • * too much stuff at home, clutter
  • * [W] too much stuff hanging everywhere in home
    [A=acute, usually over a short term]
    [C=chronic]
    [I=widespread and deep implications]
    [W=unique to wife]

–small stressors that don’t make the list, but could add  up

  • * [A] kids lagging behind academically. No such problem. Lucky we have bright kids.
  • * kids’ poor reading habit. Now much better.
  • * kids unable to become more careful@exams
  • * [A] accident – something broken
  • * low retention rate in UChicago — more like disappointments, negative feeling, rather than anxiety
  • * FSM poor return
  • * accident – misplaced something
  • * [A] accident – bought something wrong.. regret but unable to get rid of it

yoga = different from stretch` #goal

Posted on by tiger40490

I have a American book on everyday stretches in the office..

  • diff: availability of teachers and classes
  • Diff: breathing is central to many if not all yoga practices
  • Diff: In terms of goal, yoga is NOT so focused on reaching a particular range of motion. For me, I don’t aim at that at all, though I may achieve that as a by-product.
  • Diff: hard stretch for athletes and dancers often feel like painful tortures. I now believe yoga should NEVER feel torturous. You need effort, not brute force willpower.

celebrate every small improvement despite..

Posted on by tiger40490

See the complete list at ##Let us accept #current pains

It’s only fair to celebrate every small improvement in boy’s academic studies even though…

  • even though his wordy problem pattern recognition remains a don’t-care
  • even though his benchmark results are way below those “China students”
  • even though he tends to wander off in class and unable to apply the lessons on his homework
  • even though he appears to be weak on P2 arithmetic
  • even though he still uses pen rather than pencil
  • even though he comes home and wastes his time and then at 11th hour feels the pressure and fails to complete his homework

z_* vs t_* categories

Posted on by tiger40490
  • z_* categories are low-value , vague categories, often a a dumping ground for the homeless, though the posts could be high-value.
  • t_* categories are really tags. I want to minimize t_* categories. If not possible, at least control their proliferation !

Case study — sysProgram` This feels like a tag but is also a vague category. I will make it a z_* given the “minimize”

##leverage [def1] in gz++: #tunnel vision

Posted on by tiger40490

Sugg — Beware oth risk. Once a while, we could spend 10 minutes asking ourselves “Any high-leverage task to start?”

[[effective engineer]] points out that the time software engineers spend often has low leverage. My definition of leverage is similar to ROTI but over longer horizon:

  Leverage == projected impact / time invested

My concept of high-leverage endeavors incorporates two key features:

  1. disproportionate impact due to targeted effort like “laser-guided drilling“
  2. usually long term effort, long term impact

Beyond professional career, Impact can be on marriage, on wife, on kids, on grandparents, on health, on fitness, impact on retirement years… (I think the author’s “impact” is commercial impact but I am more focused on my family.) Before 30, “impact” only means personal growth in effectiveness (“biz wing” etc). Nowadays,

  • wellness, dev-till-70
  • personal investment is becoming important, such as passive income, insurance, …. but the level of effort is relatively small
  • Parenting is becoming important …. but the visible impact/tcost ROTI is very disappointing
  • Kids’ studies becoming important as an impact target.

The author pointed out that on a high-leverage point, you may need to apply effort for a long time, like drilling through a stone wall. The “overall impact / total effort” defines leverage. Controversial. Judgment call.

–leverage concept is slightly different from ROTI

See leverage^ROTI in the contrasting table in body-build`can hit low visPgress

–some of the low impact activities:

  • java study beyond IV requirement, what YH said about self-respecting, or zbs
  • vacation planning including staycation

some low-leverage but necessary chores (perhaps should simplify, delegate, pay someone, or buy machines to do them)
* home repair
* paying bills

— questionable:

  • localSys learning
  • c# study? high leverage thanks to the initial gradient. c# offered some xref xx
  • Laser-guided In-depth reading on JGC, micro-service, containers – short-term
  • UChicago masters? I invested heavily for the potential leverage, but it may not work out.
  • west coast career decision making: Potential for leverage
  • getting closer to a HFT offer like SIG and DRW
  • engage my son? No disproportionate ROTI
  • Research on div stocks
  • learning smartphone usage

–some of the high impact endeavors, not necessarily high leverage:

  • #1) Property investment decision making: impacts my family, retirement …
    • Example — The Blk 177 home purchase actually delivered very high leverage and kind of changed our life
  • #3) investment in tech interviews — life-changing
    • coding drill
  • #2) U.S. home location research — as a result I am now staying in Bayonne
  • C++ self study since Citigroup 2010?
  • financial domain knowledge — acquired at reasonable tcost, gave me a huge advantage and confidence for a few years
  • research on GC — huge tcost
  • passive income generators
  • ffree + Retirement planning — Result: new perspective on current burn rate
  • Research about colleges, school districts
  • Quant finance personal studies? Eye openers.
  • i feel wellness effort has high leverage to varying degrees
    • nutrition research for BMI…
    • workout — design and adapt the “infrastructure” including my daily routine
    • huge effort put into yoga — fundamental change in perception, but not much visible physical improvement
    • chin-up improvement

I live differently from average slim person

Posted on by tiger40490
  • difference — body image is not among my top 3 motivations
  • difference — (#1 motivation for slimming) am more aware of my genetic cardio risk — BMI deeper green
  • difference — am driving towards the lower end of BMI green zone. Very few slim people are.
  • difference — am more focused on flexibility than other fitness dimensions. I think a minority of slim individuals (predominantly women) share this same focus.
  • difference — i could grow more muscular but I want to be very very slim.
  • difference — I know my tendency to grow fatter and I know my slim figure was mostly effort.

[19]diet: top achievements #beyond weight

Posted on by tiger40490

I’m fairly confident these achievements enhance my health, not necessarily slimming. Weight seems to improve automatically and rather swiftly when I focus on calories.

  1. … ranked by 1) effect 2) effort
  2. starch reduction to 10% of 2017 level
    • No rice for a month
    • no bread, noodles, biscuits for weeks
    • found alternatives — heated carrot, sweet potato, lentils, green peas ..
  3. intermittent fasting — only one meal on weekdays, and a few snacks
    • a few times no big meal after 10pm
  4. peanut reduction — to 5% of 2017 level
  5. no more whole milk ice cream or whole milk cheese
  6. raw veg — 20 times increase over 2017 level
  7. fruits — 3 times increase over 2017 level, and a wide variety

##[19] recent highs and lows

Posted on by tiger40490
  • — the highs roughly ranked by importance
  • 🙂 weight/chin-up — based on lots of research. I listed this above all, because it’s damn hard
  • 🙂 boy did well in exams and not just lucky. He did learn well.
  • 🙂 bust project completed
  • 🙂 realization: ffree figures — if jobless now, based on 2016 figures
  • 🙂 discovery: 43R model — more years to settle down and locate a home for family
  • 🙂 discovery: Malaysia for retirement — medical… Chinese … many friends with experience
  • 🙂 realization: branded uni isn’t important
  • 🙂 discovery: more reasons not to care about school district and sidestep the unbearable huge peer pressure
  • 🙂 grandpa able to reunion
  • 🙂 starch reduction — rice fasting
  • 🙂 starch reduction — heated carrot
  • 🙂 $225 bonus and $25/M from banks
  • 🙂 Citi CGT worked!
  • — the lows, unsorted
  • 🙁 i140 delays but at least I got a call
  • 🙁 room mate but at least he accepted his fault
  • 🙁 XR going cold then slight recovery
  • 🙁 BGC rental and currency but uptown has momentum and buz
  • 🙁 ITIN renewal