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k_sinkingXp

— my academic race during NUS vs UChicago years
In my initial NUS years I was confident about hitting A’s. I was well above average in my cohort of mostly NS-men. I started somewhere close to the Dean’s List but gradually dropped to just above average. In the crucial Year4, I scored lots of C’s and D’s. In hind sight, I was losing my position in the more important “second half”. I ended up with Upper2ndClass honors. Probably I was outshone by classmates who caught up from behind.

In UChicago, I had the reverse experience. I started with low expectations — a pass in every subject. Then I emerged well above average and scored mostly A’s. I maintained high grades all the way, finishing in AAAA-. In the beginning I felt “A is long shot; B would be good; C enough” Perhaps I moved up the competition over the 3 years.

Q: was my UChicago grades as-expected and a foregone conclusion?
A: Obviously not. As the oldest student, I was hoping for a few B’s and mostly C’s. I impressed and exceeded myself, largely due to my outstanding effort. So the top grades are a real ROTI.

— dean’s list fixation.. We all have limited laser energy, unable to examine every concept in depth. The NUS dean’s list concept is never critically examined , and allowed to roam free, and often dominate my self-assessment of JLCJ (江郎才尽). Similarly, the 1stClassHonors concept is also poorly examined, and served to reinforce the same self-assessment. A Dean’s List student (Kar Peo?) may also suffer a JLCJ inferiority. She may point out that she only won twice, out of luck. She may lament about her current income, or her interview performance,,,

I tend to dismiss or forget my book prize, my 2Y EDB full scholarship and my academic achievements before and after NUS.

20 years after graduating from NUS, one thing I remember about my NUS benchmark performance (relative to my earlier schools) was the 2nd-class honors.  In hindsight, I guess a big reason was the final year project (sinking), or perhaps having two D’s (sinking) automatically disqualifies me for first-class honors. There’s no point analyzing it, since we have no verifiable or inside knowledge.

After a good freshman year when I almost made it to Dean’s list, the NUS benchmarks gradually eroded/decimated my positive self-image as a top student, as benchmarked to my cohort. My self-evaluation went through an “NUS-recalibration“. In contrast, my primary schools, Shiyan, HJC, A-levels and Uchicago all gave me better grades than NUS. End-to-end, I developed very early a self-image (reputation too) as a competent, almost top student, up to NUS Y1, and finally revived it at UChicago.

I didn’t get near the top in NUS and finished just above average, but then in UChicago I scored well above average. In terms of GPA there’s no ranking but I assume I /finished/ near the top.

— the sinking feeling with the D’s .. As described in the “sinking feeling” blogpost, the two D’s in NUS brought down my hope of postgrad in a top university. I thought to myself “no chance for any postgrad in a top university, given the many D’s and C’s on my transcript”. In 1993, I missed the chance to get a branded degree. (K.Hu also mis chance, due to ill health.) By 1998, the prospect diminished further. I was lagging behind my peers, with their prestigious degrees in MIT, Purdue. The prestige really bothered me on and off for decades.

Shiyan also gave me a sinking experience in 1989 保送高中. Similarly, the Dean’s List is determined by the school based purely on academic competition (rather than students applying to an external entity). In this sense, UChicago treated me arguably better than Shiyan or NUS. Be Grateful to UChicago. 饮水思源.

— renaissance @ UChicago..

UChicago believed in me.. As explained in teams who chose me≠2ndClass, UChicago reviewed many applicants with self-statements and professor recommendations, and they liked my profile.

UChicago accepted my application despite my NUS grades. I ought to be Grateful. (I guess my application essay helped as it was very personal and truthful. ) My UChicago grades were mostly A’s with two B’s. Self-image restored. Grateful again. This qualifies as one of the G3 ROI’s of my huge allocation to UChicago.

Q: Between the two, do I rather have better grades at NUS or UChicago?
A: Obviously UChicago, because of the prestige and calibre.
A: also, I want my “last grades” to be highest, Ending on a high note. This result is much better than the alternative scenario: NUS [1st-class honors, Dean’s list] -> UChicago [mediocre grades]. I would have felt that I’m only good enough for Singapore , not strong enough on the world stage…

Without uchicago uplifting, my mental self-portrait would be permanently blemished with tiny scars, labelled with a B .. all due to the NUS grades [2nd class]. Look at Venkat of OC, Gary.G and the Shankar of Polaris. No amount of professional accomplishment would be sufficient to overcome that permanent label. The most one can do about that label, is to look at the big picture and refuse to be enslaved by the label.

Q: how common and unremarkable was my benchmark improvement after NUS 江郎才尽? Would I predict the same for other bright but mediocre students like Venkat (OC), Rahul, Genn,,,?
A: I won’t predict the same for them.

Looks like I fared much better in math than engineering!

Q: Did I end up on a high note due to luck, effort, or something else?

— coding IV vs theoretical IV.. self-perception

1. The NUS grades “re-calibration” cast a long shadow over my self-confidence, esp. in the crucial game(s) of tech interview.
2. Once I entered WallSt 10 years later , I started cracking a series of QQ interviews and regained my self-confidence in my mental power.
3. Then came the web2.0 CIV. So far I had mixed but slowly improving results, as recorded in the Pass/Fail blogpost. Those Fail experience echoes the NUS experience of re-calibration at NUS exams. In my discussions with friends, I have repeatedly linked these two experiences.

Note multi-threading CIV and Probability IV (not CIV) are my favorite games. BigO CIV is a second favorite. Math-oriented CIV is a third favorite, including geometry, counting permutation/combinations. In these games, most candidates have no clue no insight, but sometimes I have some. The more theoretical and abstract, the less likely I get outpaced by other candidates.

I want my UChicago (strong) grades to strengthen my self-confidence in future interviews. Self-talk, self-explanation is key.