Impatience at “closing doors” or crowded escalators .. are less harmful.  Impatience at RED traffic light is a special case. It is the most dangerous case of impatience.

(Perhaps 5 seconds before reaching the junction), focus on breathing (deep breathing, hold it, and breath out. ) and muscle relaxation. Get off the bike or lean on something to help yourself relax.

Observe the body reactions [eye brow, breathing, faster steps]

self-talk.. engage the impatient self (sys1?). A wise man rushes not. Only a fool rushes.

Q: what if I miss a green light, and get stuck at this red for a minute? What does the 1 minute delay cost me?

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classic misstep/mis-judgement

— too lucky… I have been TOO lucky over the numerous traffic accidents, and always escaped without injury.

I may benefit from a real injury, like my dad’s injury on a braking bus. The injury would teach me a lesson.

— This reckless behavior is more serious than most other threats (Over the last 30 years, I have consistently failed to recognize this elephant in the room)

• Crippling injury while crossing street on bike is more serious than losing my job.
• Becoming disabled due to crossing street is more serious than investment woes.
• Losing my limbs (paralyzed from the neck down) is more serious than losing my marriage, custody,,
• Losing any one limb is worse than conviction and imprisonment
• Going through rehab after a road-crossing accident (assuming handicap) is worse than a PIP + humiliating bonus
• Injury to a kid is worse than the kid taking drugs
• A handicap due to road crossing on bike is worse than losing my memory capacity due to aging

This threat is bigger than just about every threat in my world, but failed to stay in the top 3, not even top 10 in my mind.

It was plausible to avoid U.S. simply because of illicit drug hazard. Similarly, I should consider giving up my bicycle simply because of road crossing.

==== changing my 30Y habit ..

Following dumb safety practice, we should make no judgement of traffic condition for potential crossing opportunity. Instead, start observing the hidden dangers[3], as advised by counsellor Lim. We don’t need to look left and right when our light is red. Instead we just wait, while observing the sky, plants and other interesting things around.

[3] A classic hidden danger and a pattern: At a controlled junction, even when I’m slow-moving while crossing a road, some drivers may be too focused on the traffic light to notice me. Many people are completely relaxed and inattentive when they see a green light.  Worse still, when I’m on crossing on bike, I’m faster, and it’s is even harder for drivers to notice me.

Unusual Sugg: if you see red light for pedestrians, but still want to cross the street, then better cross at a point away from the traffic light (which is red for pedestrians, green for drivers). The further you go from the traffic signal the safer. Drivers would subconsciously assume a child can dash to the road. Drivers are more alert, and would focus on the road rather than the green traffic light right in front. The green light tells driver to “relax” and ignore pedestrians.

Cognitive self-help to correct a deep-rooted (reasoning ) habit, which has moved from sys2 to sys1.  I guess this /battle/ is (to varying degrees) similar to the battles over gambling, punctuality, forgetfulness, flirting, recycling, disrespectful remarks,,,, where cognitive effort is in doubt. But right now I have no other means of self-help. Cognitive self-help is better than being helpless. I choose to believe in self-talk. “Change your perception/attitude through self-talk, and change your risky behavior.”

Counsellor Lim said people who self-talk are smarter, as proven scientifically. I guess these individuals are more self-aware, more observant, linguistically stronger (in whatever mix of languages they employ).

— reminders .. I assumed it was ineffective to remind my son about crossing road. How about the constant public reminder of drink-n-drive? I think it is not effective enough but better than no reminder.

We have cautionary reminders about wallet, phone, switch-off, locking door. They are effective for me.

sugg: reminder stickers in….

sugg: design passwords around road crossing

Sugg: ask wife and kids to give me specific reminders not generic ones

sugg: keep count how many times I waited at a pedestrian crossing red light even when there is no vehicle in sight.

Q: why I failed to learn from my real, serious mistakes in the same way as I learned with compliance, or with my exams?
A: I guess the realized painful consequence was still too light. Was I trying to play down the risk?

Perhaps a higher being has sent me a message repeatedly but I have ignored it.

Q: re the graphic, horrific photographs of human remains .. as shown on (Singapore) cigarette packaging and in 北京火车站 wall posters, are they morbid or necessary?
A: I think for someone who has been hit many times, these images may be the shocking, jolting, stomach-churning reminders he needs to stop his reckless actions.

==== analysis / pattern of sys1 risky behavior

• red light for pedestrian.. When there’s pedestrian path, but no pedestrian traffic light, my sys1 feel less safe. It is actually safer because drivers know to stop.
• At a blind corner, I (sys1) often proceed with over-confident misassumptions about what’s behind the corner.  The faster I ride, the less likely drivers can see me coming.
• impatience and over-smart. See [3].
• dumb pedestrians and dumb traffic light .. Cigna counselor pointed out the traffic light systems were designed based on evidence. They appear inefficient but they reduce accidents.
• unnecessary judgement .. a habit of unnecessary judgement. Being a passenger is safer than driving because drivers need to make assessments and decisions.
• the incidents were always involve my misstep, while the driver had a green light. At spots (eg: ChuliaSt) without traffic lights, most drivers become more /watchful/, though they still can hit a jaywalker.
• sometimes I have limited visibility, and tend to assume “safe for me”. Other times I have visibility.

* at familiar and frequent hotspots, I often feel more bold/reckless, following a habit (sys1). I guess this category accounts for 90% of my reckless actions.
* At unfamiliar spots(many of the listed incidents), I also cross recklessly on bike, and sometimes on foot

— incidents: Cross street on bike, when cars doesn’t move after pedestrian light turns RED. I basically assumed it was still OK to cross !

1. In Clementi (1994-98) I had one physical hit by a car
2. Outside TPY stadium, I had the most dangerous near-death while crossing on bike, against a red light. My toddler boy was presumably on my bike. All of the visible vehicles were stopped, so I assumed no vehicle would be coming my way. In hindsight, I think those stopped vehicles might be waiting to turn right, or they could be slowly starting to move.
3. In White Plains (2017-18), I (on bike) had many more street crossing attempts (dangerous!) when cars were starting and heading towards me.
4. in Apr 2018, I was cycling from JC to Bayonne along Ocean Ave. There were many small streets crossing Ocean Ave, mostly quiet, so I quickly learned to ignore the red lights as I cycled down Ocean Ave. Then one of the junctions was not sooo quiet. I had a red light but I ignored it. From behind a blind corner a car raced towards the junction (as he had a green light). The driver managed to stop before hitting me !
5. On Sunday 27 May 2018 I was cycling to north in NYC. My light turns green, so I went ahead to cross the street. But I also decided to cross to the west. Then a yellow taxi headed south. Lucky his speed was not too fast so he was able to stop a meter from me. In hind sight, subconsciously I felt crossing to the west was also under green light.

On foot:

1. About 5-10 times till 2022, I often cross against Red on foot, only to turn back upon seeing vehicles coming my way.
2. During CNY 2023, I was rushing from CapitaSpring to CapitaGreen to meet my friend Tianjue. Waiting to cross Church street. Traffic stopped due to red light, so I decided to walk across 5 lanes of stopped cars. The gaps between the lanes were too narrow for any car, so I dropped my guards. Then I was caught unprepared when a motorbike zoomed past right in front of me. I had to push on the passing bike to stop myself from falling onto it. The push was not hard enough to knock the driver down, but it was dangerous for both of us. I should have paid him $2000 compensation.