Q: why in early 1992 I concluded that it was impractical to take CSci A-levels but Benny (among other China students, collectively known as “China students”) was able to take that course in 1994?

This is a retrospective about survival[3] in competitive exams, self-assessment of SWOT[2], self-confidence, risk mgmt,,

[t=runway is a key factor]

I remember A-level CSci exam was not all about programming or logic, but required lots of English writing. After a few weeks studying CSci in HJC, I think the teachers took the initiative to ask me whether I wanted to continue or switch. Anyway, I saw the real_risk (described below), so immediately I abandoned CSci and took up Chinese.

For the same reason, I avoided Chemistry, even though I was very strong in Shiyan for 3 years. I knew right away that English would be a killer.

— A: due to English, I was facing a real_risk of hitting a B or C in CSci in HJC’s first exam to be held around early 1992.

This threat[2] was probably lower for the China students because they had more time to prepare and improve their English required for their first CSci exam in NUS/NTU.

[t] With math/physics, I didn’t face the real_risk because the first exam content was already familiar to me. Any new content would come in a year later. The new content turned out to be “lighter” (less in-depth) than taught in China.

— A[t]: The make-or-break of the exam is easily underestimated. It was a serious threat[2].

A first B in HJC would be a threat to my A-level confidence. In contrast, Benny would have 4 years to work on a recovery.

English writing was my Achilles’ heel [2]. “Interest” was utterly unimportant. English_proficiency4exam was the one and only criteria when choosing subjects in 1992. I would not say the same in 1994. In 1992, the consequence of failing A-levels was going back to China and losing 2 years.

[3] In China, I was a top 5% student in a top 1% school in Beijing. I felt like an NBA player. Going back (losing 2 years) would bring me down to the NBA minor league. No such risk for the China students.

[t] Interest (in any course of study) would not be enough to overcome the challenges of English writing, which was a brick wall that I had to chip away at for years. No quick fix. No power drill. No silver bullet. The China students had longer runway.

Economics was an interesting (and popular) subject in HJC but it demanded far more English. 20 years after HJC I’m interested in Econmics and I can write about it, but it took a lot of gradual improvement esp. in English writing.

— A: Benny had no “easy/safe” choice that I had. Each semester, he must take 7 courses in NUS. None of them is as easy/safe as math and physics.

The case of physics… In contrast to CSci, Chemistry or Econs, my English writing was good enough for A-level physics (and obviously math). Over the first few weeks in 1992 I could sense that I had perfect understanding of the words used in the physics textbooks, and I could rememer the words, so in exams, I could basically use those same words. Physics and math are far less English-heavy. I believed that given my perfect understanding, I could score much higher than even the decent exam takers, even if I couldn’t write well.

No such competitive confidence with A-level CSci. However, in 1994, after my English proficiency improved many times, I had exam-confidence in many technical subjects beyond CSci.