Tag: t_le2

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[23]dabao wanted2b a bus driver

Posted on by tiger40490

Hi,

I told grandpa Dabao’s stated plan to work as a bus driver or 7-eleven shop assistant.

Grandpa replied “挺好。不好高骛远, 是好事。新加坡老百姓大多数为中低层收入。像你这样高收入的是少数，不能要求你孩子也像你.”

I told grandpa that most low-pay blue-collar workers in Singapore are worker-permit holders from China, India, Malaysia, the Philippines, or other SEAsia countries. Singaporeans seldom accept those blue-collar jobs. Grandpa said 这些外籍民工, 也可以安居乐业。I said we tend to ignore these foreign workers as if they don’t exist, and we compare with white-collar only. That’s unfair.

Grandpa agreed 不应该瞧不起蓝领，或外籍民工.

I said 很多发达国家，比如日本，美国都尊重蓝领工人，赞扬他们坚守岗位，尽职尽责。他们是社会主体, 和谐社会的基础。

Many African Americans often (upbringing) take pride in their blue-collar jobs. It’s an honest job that supports a family, which also supports a nation.

So if Dabao aspires to be a bus driver or shop assistant, I will support him. It’s better than having no concrete, realistic vision.

[07]anger(+anxiety)tips #le2ZR

Posted on by tiger40490

k_anger_mgmt

Hi ZR,

I’m in a bit of anger right now. I think the following tips could help me and other people in similar situations

* sit down if possible, in stead of standing
* lie down if possible, in stead of sitting
* relax and relieve the frown between the eye brows
* when left alone, try to position the mouth as if in a “slight” smile. Not a fake smile, just a relaxed and peaceful position, like the Mona Lisa smile
* deep breath, while rubbing the chest downward repeatedly
* hum a simple, non-emotional song if appropriate

If one of these helps you once ….

##energy_sinks of free time

Posted on by tiger40490

review QQ, CIV, localSys
academic coaching .. hardly a sink
emailing with friends
recreational reading
blogg on r-ikigai
sticky bposts

k_tectonic

— Current sinks: Right now (2020-2021), I have an unprecedented (excl. bachelor years) amount of spare time but whatever disposable time there is tends to get suck into the “energy sinks” below. See also ##hobbies mid19-21 #Zeng/Fenix. I had better control some of the sinks such as pff. (Liberal use of text highlighting encouraged in this blogpost.)

  1. — current sinks, half-ranked by hours
  2. [s3] pff, including analysis and selection of asset
  3. .. eg: reading books on stock picking .. increase. Need sunshine
  4. .. eg: stock picking ..
  5. .. eg: FSM .. reduce
  6. .. eg: exp recon .. reduce
  7. family outing/movie + family discussions + other family time
    1. family movie could provide talking points with boy
  8. other blogging .. a hopelessly vague item to be included here, though it does “sink” a lot of time.
  9. DramRefresh of non-tech blog/email.
  10. frenDialog.. Note email drafting is a sink but more efficient more satisfying than meet-up.
  11. curiositySou.. including wikipedia or news reading. Control it but don’t feel ashamed!
  12. [s1~s5=strategic value]
  13. [c=need to capture absorbency to feel the joy]

So my sinks are not so good, but miles ahead of my cohort, largely due to my awareness. Millions of my cohort waste their spare time without knowing. I think their sinks include videos, drinking + overeating,  sight-seeing/shopping, sports channels, gaming/gambling,,,, but I don’t want to speculate.

Q: What’s in common between:
* comparison-shopping for tiny savings
* curiosity search (see above)
* lots of time spent on FSM, robinhood,,, with small trades, but crucially… without growing insights!

All of these are pleasurable, leisurely, and common well-accepted recreations.
All entail huge cumulative tcost, low ROTI, therefore they are “luxuries ” in terms of tcost.

— I want to create some new sinks and revive some old sinks. Note proposed sinks by definition are enjoyable, engaging,,, If some proposed sink is not, then it require tweaking. Often I hit a stone wall

  1. DramRefresh of tech + [s3] wellness + [s4] parenting + Vocab blogs — will make me feel good about my past blogging
  2. vocab (Ch/En) .. read new and refresh old
  3. recreational reading
  4. game with meimei
  5. academic coaching with meimei
  6. [s5] experiment to establish sustainable lifestyle for yoga, chin-up etc
  7. piano

— (irrelevant comparison) sinks of free cash flow — FSM low-risk funds. Perhaps I should consider U.S. index funds as another sink.

— Below is a 2021 email. For this discussion to be meaningful and add any value, I want to be strict with my criteria for a “hobby”. To see which bobby takes up more time /comparatively/, I need more precise criteria about what kind of time spent falls into each “bucket”.

Hi Kevin, You asked what hobbies (兴趣) I have. (Daryl and FenixOne founder also asked me the same question.) I have many. Some are important to me but “light” in terms of time usage, such as workouts, parenting research, and wellness research. Anyway, below I rank my current hobbies (since mid-2019) in terms of time usage from light to heavy.  ▲▼ indicates buy/overbought recommendation.

[s=solitude]
[85=can last till I reach 85, when grandpa complained about lack of hobby]

  1. ▲parenting reading and blogging .. Reading is less effective compared to self-reflection on trial-n-error.
    • Note Parenting trial-n-error by itself is too tough to be a “hobby”.
    • Note time with kids is not a personal hobby but part of my job as a parent.
  2. [s▼] video and online recreational reading .. often unplanned and without time-limit.  For example, I spent many hours on ▼curiosity searches, or reading ▼Trump.
  3. [s▲85] workouts and wellness research… This hobby includes blogging. Healthy food ▼shopping too, which is relaxing but time-consuming. In general shopping trips are no hobby but 20% of food trips are part of this “hobby”.
  4. library trips ..  and /experimental/ [s▲85]stay-home reading vacations for recreational reading. Topics are light, including news, ▼show-biz, history… These trips are planned, with a time limit.
    • Whenever I read finance, wellness or serious subjects like career, parenting, the activity falls into the more specific categories below.
  5. [s▲] tech learning .. and blogging, interview preparation. Unrelated to work, therefore a “hobby”. Occasionally I do a bit of coding drill. See self-renewal in the blogpost after Fenix IV
  6. [s 85] pff .. research, trading, and blogging. This wide-ranging hobby also includes real assets, country-comparison, tax research, retirement, inflation, college funding, home purchase (U.S.), car ownership. Some “chores” are not part of a hobby.
    • I don’t think this hobby is the “heaviest“, as I sometimes tell others.
  7. [s▼] “the other” misc blogging, ▼emailing .. to friends on _fun_ topics. This hobby also includes meet-ups and calls (loved ones + friends overseas), which are becoming rare nowadays. I prefer emailing.
    • when the discussion is finance, career, wellness, parenting … then the hours fall into the more specific categories.
  8. [s 85] DIY home repairs .. including minor (often surprisingly /rewarding/) improvements. Am a slow, /reluctant/ handyman at home. 51% of the time it is an enjoyable hobby without time pressure. See ## DIY. This hobby also includes home-reorganization, which is 49% a hobby.

I guess one common thread is reading + blogging. Some important areas are hard to achieve personal growth by reading alone [1] and require plenty of trial-n-error, like in stock trading, wellness, and parenting. I remind myself I’m not reading/blogging for fun. Indeed about half of the listed hobbies have a practical target, but I have managed to add fun into the effort and turn them into hobbies. When I don’t hit any target, I would soon feel regretful about the time spent.  See also ##plateauing growth: 江河日下,自强不息

[1] otherwise the bookworms like the tanbin in my 20’s would become role models.

[24]U.S. job prospect{CAD

Posted on by tiger40490

k_CAD

Gmail sent to a friend in Apr 2024 (after CAD “chance discovery”), touching on retirement destination, healthcare system,,,

Hi Henry,

My mind is still experiencing the after-shocks of CAD… not exactly clear-headed.

I will combine my reflections of two conversations — 1) our pantry chat 2) an hour-long call with a Dallas, TX friend (Mainland Chinese). Let’s call him XH.Xu. He is my age, a sharp observer, esp. the “dark sides”.

  • anti-Chinese sentiment .. is growing over recent years, according to a few China friends including XH.Xu. I am less observant and I don’t wear tinted glass, and I was mostly in greater NY, so I didn’t notice the “growing” part.
  • Chinese population decline in the U.S… I do think that the inflow of mainland Chinese immigrants has reduced by some percent. Therefore, the Chinese community might be dwindling a bit. My U.S. friends are mostly in their 50s/40s and have settled in the U.S. but not sure about the fresh blood of 留学生. I have anecdotal evidence to suggest that a growing percentage of 留学生 choose to return to Asia, and some second-generation mainland Chinese immigrants are interested in east Asia including Singapore.
  • medical cost .. might be increasing due to salary inflation and commodity inflation etc. Medical costs have always been quite bad in the U.S.

A few in my circle moved from China >> Singapore >> U.S. I think some of them are now re-evaluating the 3 destinations.

— citizenship and retirement destination .. XH.Xu lamented that even though he worked in Singapore some decades ago and bought a HDB in Yishun (probably as a SPR) he is no Singapore citizen or SPR. He is not optimistic about retiring in the U.S. so his default choice is “back to China”. I said that’s a sensible choice.

I have a few China friends who gave up Singapore PR/citizenship and migrated to the U.S. I don’t envy them, esp. after my health declined. For anyone with a chronic condition that requires on-going surveillance and intervention, we prefer government support rather than employer support. U.S. medicaid sounds like out of reach for the middle-class, due to eligibility etc

In 2008-2009 I had decent health insurance from my employer (GS) but it was not as good as the plan in MLP Singapore.

What happens to our healthcare when we stop working in the U.S. ? I had never worried about this question, until Apr 2024. Unconsciously I felt basically immortal… with reasonable health into my late 80s. I think my parents had reasonable health into their early 80s…

I have always told myself that once I stop working, perhaps in my 70s I would return to Asia.

— U.S. job prospects for me .. Given my health condition(s), XH.Xu immediately concluded that contract jobs are untenable. I don’t want to worry about medical costs when dealing with my condition(s). So your and his advice is identical — I must find a permanent job that offers good medical benefits.

On the positive side, I still feel U.S. employers are willing to pay a much higher salary to SWE than Singapore employers. Also, U.S. employers are more open to older SWEs.

If my son decides to enroll in a U.S. university, then I will want to be with him. I will try to find a lower-paying SWE permanent job on Wall St. Otherwise, I may find a higher-paying contract job, and buy an expensive insurance plan.

##[23]coping solutions #R.Teo困扰 #MRT

Posted on by tiger40490

Painting is known to be therapeutic. So is singing and playing musical instruments. My expressive writing is even more effective but none of these is as immediate, as dramatic, and 80% effective like my ED pill.

Sometimes the effect of painting/writing/// is underwhelming. That’s life.

It’s not obvious which stressors are beneath the current state of anxiety/pessimism. It takes skills, effort, practice and sys2 resources to /identify/ those stressors.

Sometimes my sys2 resources feel like depleted, and I choose to focus on chipping away at one of the big-rock stressors/tasks:

* math facetime, family game night, or outing with boy.. to make me feel less guilty as a father
* company projects
* DIYHI
* localSys refresh .. “direct” effort on an quadrant-II item

In the context of the R.Teo bpost (https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/46375/23copsolutions-r-teo/), these efforts are “direct” efforts.
Other times, none of the direct efforts are appealing or effective, so I would try some diversion efforts or “biological” efforts.

k_office_sanctuary … k_quietime  … k_therapeutic_reflective_blogg

See also

Q: What are some of your tried-n-tested coping strategies/solutions/techniques for 1) anxiety (most common in me), 2) worries (2nd most common), 3) 困扰 [internal tensions/conflicts]?

By the way, the question statement is a good breakdown of the vague and broad concept of “stress”

[XX | YY = this solution is sometimes an XX , and YY at other times]
[a= directly address the actual or a related stressor (always plain visible, therefore real)]
[b=biological or physical in nature]
[c=cognitive solution, sometimes “a”]
[d=diversion techniques]
[h=harmony, with the body, family,,]
[H=I told HenryLew in 2023 or I wish I did]
[p1=stress prevention] .. [p2=stress protection] .. [r=stress reduction]

In the final 5 minutes of our CompassOne chat in 2021, I named 3 _main_ strategies.

  1. [bH p1p2] workout .. to some extent, I can feel turned off after “too much” exercise.
  2. [acH p2] therapeutic blogging .. (+self-talk) As I told Raymond, it can go more in-depth than a friend discussion. Am the best therapist for myself.
  3. [a|bd h p2] quietime .. away from family in quasi-isolation (like office sanctuary) often to /restore/ balance and harmony. This lifelong habit has recently (2023) become important and effective. I told Raymond about my decades-long library immersion habit or fastFoodRestaurant quietime. During the quietime I could study, blog, read magazines, or take a rest and watch people passing by (quiet idle time). This is similar to people sitting on a beach, but nowadays I simply go to MRT or bus interchanges.
    .. [b] early rise .. morning quietime is precious and productive
    .. [a|d H r] work on company projects in my quietime .. can serve as a diversion. As a by-product, it also reduces pressure from work.

— I will add a few _minor_ coping strategies —

  1. “tww” with smemo as a back burner ..  effective esp. with non-urgent decisions, or juggling…
  2. [d] exp recon, cash flow optimization to maximize net int
  3. [r p1] delay or reduce competing “efforts” .. so as to prioritize and preserve limited sys2/physical/financial resources. 缩短战线 to maintain the required focus.  For eg, take leave, block out work stressors so as to focus on one of the big rocks and chip away.
    .. [ar] identify and take on quick removals and improve focus
  4. [bhH p2] longer sleep .. effective if-and-only-if I feel physically stretched due to multiple/heavy stressors
  5. [acH p2] talk to friends/counsellors .. I realize that my friends are too busy to listen to me in-depth. Sometimes I call a counseling hotline if I have a specific question such as parenting. Occasionally, I would get a bold suggestion or actionable insight.
  6. [h] be creative with commute .. occasionally, train commute can serve as quietime and facilitate therapeutic blogging, but when time is a scarce resource, tcost of long commute could and should be reduced. For example, clear backlogs on train.
  7. [ach p2] praying and meditation .. effective and “direct” for some religious practitioners. Similarly, I often practice audible self-talk or sentence-completion.

It’s worth repeating that coping strategies are highly personal and individualistic. (For an analogy, each person’s favorite relaxation can be subtly different.) What works for you may not work for me. Below are some coping strategies that I no longer find effective:

  • [a|d b p1] DIY home improvement projects ..  My DIY project always aims to scratch a persistent itch on the back. A creative, challenging, engaging diversion. As such it can be highly satisfying, but see [i]
  • .. [bd p1] home clean-up, gardening .. a form of light workout and also creates a more peaceful, less cluttered environment, which can reduce stress. I guess some women like that, but not effective for me.
  • [d] reading vacation .. pick up some magazines or books (printed, not on screen) of interest. Many people like me tend to have a wide range of reading interests. An engaging read can serve as a diversion… usually not effective enough.
  • [bdhr] musical instruments
  • [d] movies .. not an effective diversion though I go to cinemas about 3 times a month, always alone. On the other hand, sometimes I sit outside the cinema hall (if seating is available) for 3 hours after the movie to get some quietime.
  • [d] gaming, watching sports, music, youtube .. inferior to movies or reading vacation. But effective for my son.
  • [b] drinking and eating ..  usually not very effective, but when I feel (System2) over-stretched I do eat a controlled amount of “comfort foods” such as ice cream or nuts.
  • [bd] get out and volunteer .. often involves physical movement, some interaction with other people, some new, unfamiliar challenges. One of the most effective diversions, but I have no time for it nowadays.

optimism, faith #illustrat`abstract concept #XR

Posted on by tiger40490

boy’s situation
SGD strength
Sgp inflation

k_soul_search .. k_CAD

— resilience, adversities are central to optimism
— optimism after WPress site block
— optimism with sexual difficulties
— optimism with BMI challenges
— optimism with boy…
— optimims with my twilight years
— Hi XR,

Optimism has a rich meaning. When I say a person is optimistic about a difficult endeavor [2] (undertaken by herself or an organization[3]), this person maintains her positive energy, her effort [4], her hope for that endeavor, at least half the time[5]. The hope and the optimistic perception is often based on some evidence[6].

Some pointers:

[2] The endeavor could be personal growth, family bond improvement, anger management .. If something doesn’t involve a long, difficult effort, then optimism is irrelevant. (As an analogy, without resistance, strength is irrelevant.)

[4] In most cases, optimism must translate to action. No action, no change. I am optimistic about U.S. so I proactively plan my career, my children’s education, my housing …

[5] For a difficult struggle like improving body flexibility, I frequently lose heart but at least half the time I am hopeful that my stretch practices would enhance my later life. My attitude on ahboy weakens my confidence and hope but half the time I’m hopeful.

[6] There is positive evidence and negative evidence, about a difficult endeavor. When we are optimistic about something, we tend to notice the positive and filter out the negative evidence. For example, I hear your son’s progress. Sometimes the negative evidence is overwhelming, putting our optimism to the test. I don’t want to describe examples.

In some cases, our optimism is not based on evidence… that would be “faith”. (Blind optimism can be reckless and I seldom see that in myself.) I donated blood a few times because I believe a good deed by a father will bring good luck to himself and his kids. Blood donation generates massive and lasting positive energy.

[3] Most of the time I feel optimistic about Singapore as a nation, despite its inherent limitations and comparative weaknesses. Also, I often feel optimistic about the U.S. economy and U.S. stocks. With my investments in Cambodia, I feel slightly optimistic about Cambodian economy. On the other hand, I’m less optimistic about Philippines where I bought some property.

By my definition of optimism, I don’t think you are all-pessimistic. You do show positive energy on parenting, on tech learning. You clearly prefer U.S. because you see brighter future for your family in this country than any other country.

— (realistic) Optimism in Leadership
Leadership in any organization always requires optimism. I see that in Lee Kuan Yew, in Obama. In my family, I can see it in my dad at a few junctures. He chose to focus on the positive evidence when other people see the negative. As leader of my family, I have a duty to hold up the optimism in the family. Can I choose pessimism in some cases? I would say rarely, and it would usually affect our energy level.

— optimism in competitive endeavors
Optimism in health, career longevity, family bonding … are non-competitive and less tricky. But some endeavors are fundamentally competitive, like getting into Facebook or enrolling my son into a top college. What if all other students are bright, motivated and optimistic? Not everyone can get into the top 10%. Tricky. In those cases, I choose to rephrase my goals. My dad had the wisdom and audacity of hope to tell me “I would be satisfied if my grandson graduates from a Singapore polytechnic or a U.S. community college”

玩物丧志, 老年痴呆 #Jun.Z

Posted on by tiger40490
I probably can develop some variety of personal interests so that after retirement I have a busy life. 老年痴呆 (dementia) is a growing concern for anyone planning to live a very long life.
  • [e] take part in mid-sized software projects
  • [e] teach Chinese, English, math or programming, or perhaps physics .. hopefully engaging
  • selling things online?
  • [e = engagement is a key factor, giving rise to joy or meaning]
However, day trading is not widely recommended, some would say “a problematic hobby”. I kinda agree. That is why I said your son should watch out for 玩物丧志 in day trading.
— activities after full-retirement
  • raising pets
  • keep a small garden, if retiring in the U.S. .. but I think I will retire in Singapore.
  • blogging — I have been blogging for 10+ years
  • learn some music instruments, as my mother did
  • learn some drawing, as my mom did
  • 太极拳, 武术, dancing as a team performance sport … start at some age
  • basketball, boxing, yoga

WFH trend(U.S./SG)but I adapted2train commute #CNA

Posted on by tiger40490

k_quietime

— [2021] Hi XR,

Thanks for sharing your personal preferences. I can understand that telecommuting has huge benefits in your circumstances, so huge that you are willing to change job for it. I think when I move to the U.S. I will also prefer partial telecommuting (commute too long) Therefore, I feel optimistic about the industry trend.

Believe it or not, many Singapore employers are forced to follow the same trend, as tech workers expect flexible work arrangements. Some workers even demand it, saying “If this employer is as rigid/outdated as before the pandemic, then I will prefer those adaptive employers.” Businesses need /adaptation/, as in natural selection theory (Darwinism). I believe the leading tech employers will adapt in order to compete for tech talents.

Right now in Singapore, I feel extremely lucky that I don’t suffer any of the commute headaches you described:

  • no cooking duty. My wife cooks.
  • no need to fetch kids. My wife does that whenever I’m in the office.
  • commute is 25min and very little walk. No transfer. I am able to study or blog about 80% of the time. I could be quite productive during my commute, so the commute hours are not “lost and wasted”, eroding the 24 hours we have.
  • train is punctual and reliable, with reasonable cost (S$2.60/day)

There are many small benefits to my daily commute:

  • on my commute I often pass by shops where I complete my shopping routine without making a separate shopping /errand/ from home.
  • I often do a bit of light exercise like climbing stairs, squat, stretch, and push-up at train stations or inside trains. Without my daily commute, I found it harder to motivate myself.
  • ^^ Therefore, I feel healthier, more efficient, more eco-friendly than those car commuters.

Adaption again — I have adapted my lifestyle to my daily commute. Therefore, without the daily commute, I am less efficient, less healthy.

When I can’t enter the office, I often go out to far-away places (libraries, cinemas, yoga, meet-ups) just to get out of home and enjoy the train rides.

==== 2023 CNA article on commute vs onsite work (https://www.channelnewsasia.com/commentary/transport-daily-commute-work-home-office-traffic-me-time-psychological-benefits-3365581)

“many patients I have seen in the past year have been relieved that they can return to the office despite having to endure the commute… (Office) social interactions helped provide support, validation, and inspiration to their work.”

— quietime .. COMMUTING – A CHORE OR MUCH-NEEDED “ME TIME”?

“For employees with family, work can sometimes be the only legitimate reason they can give themselves (or their spouse) to leave home and get some alone time.”

“commutes allowed them a time to be truly free from both work and family, and they were able to detach their mind from the everyday worries of work and ordinary life.”

I don’t enjoy screen-entertainment during commute. Instead, my favorite combination is

  • reading print or electronic media, usually with a pen.
  • seated on a train. (Bus is bad for reading)
  • frequent trains, without long waiting

public trust in government: SG^U.S.

Posted on by tiger40490

Hi Friends,

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/singapore-covid19-omicron-concern-tracking-pm-lee-2343071 is an article published on a Singapore government-controlled news site. There is some political bias, but I found a few quotes (of Singapore prime minister) fairly valid rather than exaggerated. (For full disclosure, I have always voted for the PAP. )

  • In his remarks, the prime minister had an incisive take on a key difference between Singapore and a few advanced democracies. Many Chinese intellectuals (me in the past) often say bulk of the Singaporean population is easily manipulated and controlled by the PAP government… 听话的傻孩子. Nowadays I disagree with those characterizations. I think the real difference is the (vast majority of) Singaporeans’ relatively high trust in their government leaders. Not blind trust.
  • Prime minister said, “Some societies are high-trust, others are low-trust – and it makes all the difference in a crisis.” I agree 100%.
  • Prime minister pointed out “political divisions and deep distrust” have made it harder for the US and many European countries to bring COVID-19 under control. He said of the public “Many of them are anti-vaxxers – not just because they are misguided or ignorant, but because of deep distrust – of authority in general, and of their own government in particular” Authority also includes scientists, doctors, pharmaceutical companies, mainstream mass media…
  • Prime minister said “Singapore cannot claim to have better doctors or scientists, or better healthcare than the US or Europe. But the decisive difference in our response is this: We trust one another, and therefore we work with one another and not against one another.”

membrane: selective listening

Posted on by tiger40490

k_def_of_success

A letter not set out.

Hi TJ,

You are right about [[Thinking fast and slow]] but I mostly read the last 20%, a section on self-perception of well-being. That’s why I brought up Paul Allen, colostomy patients, healthy (and unhealthy) longevity.

Last week you asked why at my age I think so much about longevity. Well, I have always been a long-term planner, and now planning for the longest horizon till end of my life. Also, my parents talk about their health and late-life plans all the time.

I like your phrase “reaching that goal day by day”. Planning is easier than follow-through. I blog about my follow-through actions. I told you about my diet, workout, learning tech, active trading, hobbies…. not as fancy plans, but everyday actions.

You have a good point about “adjust” and “not affected by others”. I always feel the importance of the “membrane” through which we selectively (or involuntarily) receive influence. Clearly we need to adjust our planning, goals and priorities, mostly based on influence from other people, so we can’t operate with a water-proof membrane. Instead, each individual exercises discretion as to who we want to follow, who we want to listen to.

It turned out that many of my peers (classmates, colleagues, fellow techies) are not good influences on life priorities. I think many have not figured out what is important, so they follow the conventional, wrong priorities. So I want my membrane to block those influences. In reality, my membrane still lets in unwanted influence. I still question my breakaway from the convention yardsticks esp. about top schools for my kids.

I give an A- to my parent-child bonding, and my kids have a loving family. I am a caring father and don’t focus too much on academic benchmark. Still, whenever there is an academic comparison, my kids would often (like B-) appear inferior to the kids of my peers.

Tough. That’s why I need a highly selective membrane. I need long-horizon vision (that my father always shows by example). I need to drop the baggage and focus on the right priorities. Academic benchmark success doesn’t match my “easy life” yardstick, even though 自强不息 yardstick demands a serious effort.

Sent: Mon, Feb 21, 2022 11:10 AM
To: Victor
Subject: RE: a few topics discussed

I can understand how other values and they have own valid reasons. Since so many choices available and they make sense in different angle, that is why I said the most importance is you have your own belief and not really affected by others and willing to reach that goal day by day. You start from a solid belief and adjust it according to what you observe and practice. It will make ppl more mental health rather than anxious when seeing and comparing against others.

That is why I feel you got your point of work-life and you have strong reason to keep the current style.