Tag: t_fxt_44

quick removals: too many stressors #criteria=forgettable

Posted on by tiger40490

Inundated with too many stressors, rather than /overburdened/ by a big stressor? Most stressors probably require a lot of legwork and/or long resolution time. Often requires “after-sales support“, or issue tracking, using jira-style tools like blog. Fortunately, some stressors are exceptions. I call them quick removals.

  • [ers] eg: return ikea whiteboard…. The after-sales effort of fitting the accessories is not really necessary (jolt).

Warning: focus on quick removals is justified in the inundation context. In normal context, this practice is often inefficient. It often ignores the four quadrants.

Indeed, the absence of follow-up headache is the defining feature of “quick”, but there are secondary features.

— feature: [r=benefit/effort ratio] .. An effective quick-removal has an immediate and _noticeable_ effect on my overall stress /profile/. An inferior quick removal has unnoticeable effect.

  • [r] eg: police report on Jill .. huge effect. Required some preparation, but actually the police didn’t require all the evidence I prepared
  • [ers] eg: Ohio tax …. issue-tracking might be required, but most of the effort is upfront. If postponed further, the individuals could forget .. see bpost

— feature: [e = early-stage cancers] .. if unresolved, the issue would _slowly_ (not quickly) grow into a bigger headache, even though currently not really a crisis like fire-fighting.

  • [er] eg: examine old fan and buy new fan
  • [ers] eg: name change at MLP …. the preparation work turned out to be small.

— feature: [s= spreading yourself too thin] .. It make sense to quiet some nagging/crying babies for better focus, and relieve the “all-at-once” experience, provided the item can be removed quickly/decisively.

  • [s] eg(+ve): ceiling painting job
    eg(-ve): painting the lower portion…. Low benefit
  • [rs] eg: discuss, inquire then refer Kun.Hu …. legwork turned out to be small. I could wait for a few days, but the stress would grow.

##smash-costs @ discipline: never forget

Posted on by tiger40490

It’s important to remember the collateral damages, or they could be sacrificed for nothing.

  • bifold
  • discarded drinks — mom dumped them on the floor, unopened. I emptied the containers.
  • I have damaged a toy monkey.
  • I have smashed a red-bean bakery — not completely boy’s fault
  • I have damaged iPhone8 screen.
  • I injured my right wrist on Sunday night 24 Jan 2021. I was slamming on the table to show my anger to my son.

Some people don’t care about the damages and therefore tend to forget them. I have an advantage that I do care about them, and I make a point to record them.

##..is_fragile: job security, harmony,

Posted on by tiger40490

The compliance issue reminds me … job security is fragile

“Life is fragile” .. a common phrase, _always_ used in specific contexts. I think Buddhism has a lot to say about it and about impermanence.

Q: Do I feel XX) 幸福 or KK) 快乐 about each item below?
A: fragility usually implies temporary happiness (KK), but see below.

— job security .. (at a particular employer like MLP) can be fragile esp. if it feels like a very stable job. See preClearance misstep #Zeng. Job security is the #1 fragility on my mind. Paradoxically, I still feel XX about my current job.

In contrast, my /adopted strategy/ of dev-till70 is less dependent on a particular employer… slightly less fragile.

— carefree ez life .. More /loosely/, my sense of carefree, my easy life.. is quite temporary and fragile, but I feel XX.
The most tangible part of my carefree ez life is my barebones ffree. See ##random derailers@ffree #resilience. Fragile, but I feel XX.
— a kid’s perception of acceptance/belonging, self-esteem .. can be fragile during a certain phase
— family harmony .. should not be fragile but I often feel it is fragile. I feel KK.
— the precious trust and open communication with my teenage son
— wellness .. is fundamentally fragile, but luckily we are fundamentally aware. I feel XX.
sexual vitality .. fragile, but kind of non-essential in old age. I feel KK
chin-up .. my current condition is fragile. I feel KK
good sleep .. fragile, but I feel XX
BMI .. fragile, but I feel XX
— SG .. national livelihood, racial harmony, even security .. can be /vulnerable/, though many Singaporeans actually choose to retire in SG. Fragile but I feel XX.
In contrast, big economies like U.S. and China are seen as less fragile, but I say it’s very loose, imprecise, uncritical thinking.

==== Now some counter examples that aren’t so “surprisingly fragile”.
— burn rate for basic livelihood .. (jolt) fairly secure in my view. See livelihood[def2] x-class #S.Liu. I feel XX.
— wealth preservation .. ( till my passing, not for my posterity)
Jolt: If we avoid and contain strategic missteps, then the (external) hazards do not loom so large in my mind at this stage. These hazards hit everyone and are widely studied and monitored. Most of them are actually financial rather than physical hazards.

##professional success factors (un)related to school

Posted on by tiger40490
  • —– unrelated to school
  • interpersonal skills
  • leadership — graduates from top schools are not more likely to become leaders
  • humor
  • optimism, resilience, self-esteem
  • programming skill
  • creativity in general
  • writing skills
  • public speaking
  1. —– related to school
  2. math, physics
  3. academic research + patented invention
  4. precision in … research, writing, … due to more rigorous training
  5. analytical skills across information-intensive, or data-intensive professions
  6. reading habit
  7. attention to details in research
  8. motivation to achieve (academic) goals
  9. information gathering (research) skills
  10. alumni network
  11. design skills?
  12. (top college, not top high school) internship at top companies
  13. exposure

stress-lite days to relax 绷紧的弦

Posted on by tiger40490

Stress-free is impossible; I try to get some stress-light days once a month — a way for my “system” to relax periodically. This helps the kids and wife, otherwise they tend to see a stressful daddy, always.

My dad always points me to the “string on a bow”, which is under constant tension. Without some periodic rest, it is likely to SNAP! My dad is kind of like me so he knows I tend to get preoccupied and neglect the tension build-up, so he paints this vivid picture for me, over and over until I can recognize the symbol 绷紧的弦.

Practical guidelines for a stress-light day? Theory is fine, but when we implement and hit resistance, we need wisdom + practical tips

stress-light doesn’t mean wasting time. Need to strike a balance.

I think a key factor is the ZSMS after a stress-light day. I tend to feel guilty for wasting time!

Here are some of the activities on a stress-light day:
* reading tech or fin math? Is OK but should be not be “forced”. The motivation can be stressful. So perhaps a light motivation
* physical exercise? Always encourage. Even forced exercise is good for stress relief, but beware “missed punch is more tiring than a landed punch” — unkind pressure to push yourself but no exercise done ==> stress!
* Piano with boy? Can be stressful…I feel a duty. The 10-sec/day rule is practical.
* help boy with studies? More stressful than piano. Be careful. Don’t count the minutes. Make it fun and relaxed. * blogging? fine
* review past blogs; send email drafts? fine
* emailing? fine
* Chinatown shopping? fine but too much tcost
* movie? fine

Does boy also need a stress-lite day? Parents need to be cool-headed and not react emotionally like “look at him.. every study”. I feel there are some differences between adult’s stress and student’s stress:
* Students definitely get more time for physical activity each day.
* They don’t have heavy responsibilities due to other people depending on them.

[16]Singapore’s gifted program – not so special

Posted on by tiger40490

I have many classmates and colleagues who were in top 1000 in their graduation year in China or India. Percentile wise, these are all gifted by Singapore standard. I guess Singapore gifted program entrance exam covers math, English and other subjects, so perhaps these friends would’t pass every subject, but a kid is really gifted in one subject only. Compare

Student A: top 0.01% on one subject (say, Math) and above average in other subjects
Student B: top 0.1% across the age group, but his strongest subject score is only 1st percentile. (I think this is a realistic example due to probability)

Between A and B, who is more like gifted?

In my humble opinion, Math, Physics, logical abstract reasoning and memory capacity are easy to assess as in IQ tests. English, Chinese and all other subjects are hard to test for giftedness.

I don’t think the so-called gifted program in Singapore means a lot. It means the kid is bright by some narrow-scoped academic standard.

少年班 was discontinued in China long ago.

 

100% self-confidence in school tests

Posted on by tiger40490

It depends on the … personality. Some kids (and adults) feel encouraged by “You can do it”, but that’s just one style of supportive parenting. For boy, instead of encouraging him to aim for 100%, it might be more effective to declare (like in GS orientation) “low/no expectation” like 50%!

When grandma + mom + dad all say you must achieve 100% otherwise can’t go out tomorrow, the pressure might be too heavy, for our boy. For another kid, this motivation might turn into positive energy and push her to a new level of mastery.

It also depends on …. mileage.

eg: math …

eg: spelling 15 words … sounds easy for me, so I can have 100% confidence, but what about 50 words? I won’t have 100% confidence. For boy, 100% about 15 words might be equally hard, simply because of mileage.

eg: writing 5 “valid” sentences about (a series of) pictures, with optional helper words. At age 17 I had a hard time doing it in English. Every sentence I wrote sounds bad, even though I was well-trained on English grammar. My vocab was like 500 words, but I didn’t really know how to use the 50 most basic words! My mileage with English was simply insufficient. With more mileage I reached this level naturally. 100% confidence was really hard but became achievable 2 years later.