The more I use it, the higher Return-on-investment-before-discarded.
I would feel less short-changed by the vendor, less unlucky, less guilty about the choice I made. Also, the higher the price I paid, the more pain (including guilt) when hitting “90%”. After 6 months, things could stabilize.
k_divorce
This is a recurring sentiment about my US cmc peers. Most of my U.S. cmc peers have double income, well above me in terms of household income.
Jolt: Now I feel that’s about the only advantage they have over me.
— new: unstable marriage of two high flyers
[[Divorcing couples: a profile analysis]] finds “dual-earning couples often struggle with the management of multiple demands placed on them — earning money, the responsibility of maintaining a home and raising kids.” I have never questioned the advantages of dual_earning. Now I think there are a few DISadvantages.
Given the income disparity in my marriage, my wife is mostly supportive, rather than competitive and independent. Our parenting duties are well-organized.
Q (posed in 2020, 2021 or 2022): given the cashflow high ground, how could H.Y improve their marriage and communication.
A: professional couple counselling. This service costs a lot in the U.S.
A: hire a maid to reduce the home-making workload on each parent
Perhaps emigrate to a lower-income country where systems are less complex and everyday life simpler and more convenient.
Surprisingly, the high ground doesn’t provide enough of a buffer of protection against marital risks. The high ground improves risks related to family cashflow, but the high-earning wife is also very independent and doesn’t want to play a supporting role to the husband. Not a risk factor in itself, but in some cases, this can indirectly create new risks. Many divorce cases involve two high-income earners.
A lower-class stable couple (earning 100k/Y) look at the higher-class the Yi’s with envy. But would the Yi’s envy the stable marriage of the lower-class couple? I think Yi’s xpSelf would.
Now 100k/Y is well above the median household income, so why would this couple still envy the Yi’s. Would a $400k couple envy someone still higher? It’s endless like the low-latency arms race.
k_X_focusing_illusion k_soul_search
I get into crises anxieties far too often .. I guess it has to with focusing illusion.
Let’s be slightly more rational and ask ourselves — what bad news (or other events) should be considered a crisis? Let’s list up to 9 high-level categories. I think they all have some timeline.
Here are some storms-in-teacup i.e. fake crises:
Slightly less often we notice a shocking deterioration in our life, but irreversible, hence no big change needed. What we need most is the serenity prayer.
* skin, hair condition, perhaps due to aging
* c++ programmers’ life becoming tougher on wall st
* growing population of younger, brighter developers in Singapore job market
Which individuals have the serenity and the discernment? Grandpa, Josh?
k_ctbz k_X_power_descriptor k_soul_search
In popular usage, 寸土必争 has a wider meaning, but in my case, ctbz := Once I set a realistic and measurable target for my endeavor, I push myself to execute my plan with ruthless, clinical precision, often semi-consciously beating myself up whenever I deviate visibly.
寸土必争 is often a daily struggle, tough for everyone. Therefore it’s actually my competitive strength! Most adults or young people don’t monitor their burn rate, calorie-quota or regular exercise. The cumulative effect would eventually show up.
Among these scarce resources, usable time is the most scarce, available up to age 60 (only 55 for some).
This is a killer talent and a visible personal advantage. Among the specific talents, the most significant (used to be $$) is calorie-quota budgeting. It has long-term health benefits.
Among these endeavors, my success is most visible and decisive in $$, and least in time-saving.
This is one reason for my carefree life at this age when my peers endure stress. This (and other) freedom comes with responsibility.
— warning .. ctbz can be hazardous. With cherry, other eaters would discard half the flesh. However, due to ctbz, i try to eat all the meat off the core. This is actually dangerous. When I do this without full concentration, the stone can get stuck at the throat or go down.
— domain: water.. in mid 2022, I found joy in saving water. The small actions make me feel /righteous/?/ and earn me self-respect. It sharpens my perception on numerous water wasting scenarios that are often overlooked. The small savings add up to a modest amount, but the sharpened perception will help me score big wins.
— domain: diet
Polyclinic dietitian said .. without precision, calorie reduction will be futile.
calorie-quota is a similar concept to carbon-quota. Each country each year is given a quota. If you over use bit by bit, then someday you need to borrow from the future quota.
— domain: workout
flexibility (+ muscle) declines with aging and requires periodic stretching, perhaps a few seconds each day — ctbz
— domain: burn rate .. my burn_rate_control (ffree) is the front page success story.
Some people save for months then spend all the savings at year end. Other people waste numerous small amounts of money on a monthly basis. Over decades they “throw down the drain” a painful portion (like 10-20%) of their income. elaborate planning of NY/SG trips is a case study.
See also ctbz on small spends
— domain: time micro-saving
My Focus on time utilization is a great example of my ctbz habit. Many people spend time (and $) in “fun” places that actually don’t create a lot of pleasure.
Large number of small time-wastage is similar to large number of small $-waste. Some of us feel the pain only years later when our peers make progress in their spare time (or their office hours).
— domain: divorce dispute (if it ever happens) .. Grandpa said that in the unlikely event, we need to fight to resist and never give in
— my ctbz attitude/habit is effective (in some but) not in all domains:
With early rise, I feel my 寸土必争 attitude may be unnecessary, possibly counterproductive.
Weekly coding drill don’t need 寸土必争. Momentum is more important.
Here are my top 5 health concerns in my 95-longevity plan.
Note death is only part of my concern.
— SG: risk factors behind the most death+disability combined, based on http://www.healthdata.org/singapore
https://vizhub.healthdata.org/gbd-compare/ is a treemap/heatmap, where color represents growth rate, and area represents incidence measured in DAYLs. I chose Singapore Males 70+. Need to choose “Cause” and “Death”. This data is not published by Singapore MOH.
sanitary pad (40 pcs /$1.20)
See also
Many middle-class Chinese parents tend to come under a powerful /spell/ (re Emperor’s new clothes). The spell limits their horizon to no more than college admission. My wife is one of them. She tends to judge a parent’s success solely based on the branding of the college the child gets into. If we put aside the caveats [some listed below], I think we can see how short-sighted she is. If we do look beyond college admission, and look at the 4Y experience, look at the post-grad, look at life-long learning, look at employment prospect, I think most of us would agree that college admission is grossly overrated and not really the make-or-break of a person’s life.
(Admission to ) A branded colleges vs later success is like a trophy wife vs fulfilling marriage. Note “trophy wife” has a rich meaning with many elements, and therefore an interesting analog.
I think many Chinese parents actually realize “Yes short-sighted”, but still find it hard to break away and reject the herd instinct. I think this is exactly why I found it hard to persuade myself to accept a 5-rated SDXQ like South Edison or Bayonne.
Now the caveats:
k_bedBug_wisdom k_tectonic
See also ##GordianKnot Cutters
Need a better title. Old title: “##gain` traction+vision {years@envy”, showing
This blogpost grew to become /unwieldy/, so I split it to a sister blogpost on wellness+finance
—- [c] eg: boy’s math coaching… My vision secret? put aside benchmarks and try to increase his intrinsic motivation by 1%. Possibly insignificant (I don’t think so). Definitely better than nothing.
—- eg: secure foothold in the U.S. the land of opportunities. Gaining traction year after year. I am reaching my turning points steadily. Last one was my priority date becoming current.
—- eg: find a women good enough, who likes me. Turning point was 2005.
—- [] eg: underfucked for years
My traction secrets? intimacy calendar. See https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/47636/21-jan-counselling/
—- [ct] eg: ROTI family outing — The tcost of outing was prohibitive. ROTI was always underwhelming if 5H+
My traction secrets? jogging
—- [cmr] eg: bedbugs — some consider them as untreatable. My vision secret? See bedbug heuristics:where, how many,spreading speed,weekly check
—- [ch] eg: use paper as /dashboard/ — more effective than technologies
hidden barrier of effectiveness: access .. paper is far more accessible in writing or display
—- [chm] eg: mosquito .. screen is economical, durable. Additional traction secret: avoid tear at the edges.
hidden barrier of effectiveness: inconvenience.. The suction lamp takes 10% of the effort of other solutions.
—- 1169 main door too heavy and need 3 magnets… My vision secret? friction pad underneath the door is cheaper, far easier to install (no drilling) and more effective
—- [h] door closer detachable middle rod ..
hidden barrier and vision is the tilting angle… when too sloped, it would rub hard on the top surface of the swinging door, and cause a growing problem.
—– [] hair drooping over forehead .. I always had to visit a barber. My vision secret? This part grows faster than all other parts, so I could cut it short by myself.
===== as student
—- [et] improve English vocab and aim to have enough to express myself in writing and carry a conversation
—- [et] improve English listening and aim to follow BBC radio
In terms of listening, this goal is harder because the other person can’t slow down and repeat for me.
—- [et] earliest defining example: Chinese compo — My “traction” secrets to start gaining traction?
Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.
===== career
—- [hmt] eg: java (and c++) IV stardom — Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.
My traction secrets? I failed many interviews until I found out what valuable questions to focus on
C++ journey was more winding. My traction required more interviews and easier interviews.
HFT c++IV are still too hard.
hidden barrier: need to impress the interviewers in some tech domain
—- WallSt-pro status — achieved in 2010 after GS.
My traction secrets? not GS trec, not dnlg, but java IV skill !
—- [ce] tech career longevity — against churn. We all envy the doctors.
My vision secrets? I found a “way” to this goal, via WallSt contract market
—- [et] c++ IV, and c++/java combo — envied for years those who can pass C++ interviews. This battle is much harder and longer than the java battle. My traction secret? Here are some
k_soul_search
—home location factors .. expensive not “subtle”
It takes too much time to keep this list. In each item, there are too many important details.. like pulling out a thread from a knitted sweater:( … Once I start pulling I can’t stop pulling.
In hind sight, overspent on boy, investment, basically same tendency in HIS19 !