Tag: t_fuxi

G4 Most valuable gifts2%%kids beyond financial #longevity

Posted on by tiger40490

— #1 gift: presence of mom and dad.
A safe environment to SG citizens is a gift by the entire government, not just the ministers, but every member of the government. Likewise, I am instrumental to sustain this “presence”.

— #2 gift: My healthy long life and my presence throughout their adult lives.
One of the least mentioned but most valuable resources I can give my kids is my live presence due to my healthy longevity.

I can be a guide and a steady hand (舵手) in their life journeys. Even at age 80 I can be a role model for them, sharing my wisdom, otherwise my lessons learnt. This is what I value most in my dad.

I can remain in charge of my assets, and train them to manage for me.

Look at grandpa or grandma. Their presence has a net-positive effect, because they are not yet dependent and burdensome.

— Gift: Lifelong habits? I think this is overvalued. Lifelong habits are not easily transferred across generations. It demands effort on my part and on their part.
— Gift: Education beyond certificates? I think this is overvalued. Education is 70% achieved by themselves and perhaps 20% by parenting and 10% environmental.
— Gift: financial inheritance? Very tangible benefit. This benefit is very much enhanced if thanks to longevity I am available to “administer” it.

[17]top secondary school→limited advtg@uni level

Posted on by tiger40490

I attended a top high school in Beijing. This school’s academic standard was much higher than the average school. See https://tanbintpy.wordpress.com/2016/07/03/toxic-fellow-parents-fixation-on-top-schools/. Therefore, the above-average students in a top school felt so high up there. In terms of the standardized test scores, they might be the top 1%. Same thing in Singapore.

However, they often fail to *maintain* the lead at the uni level. Many students from the average high schools catch up. Some of the top achievers in uni indeed come from top high schools, but
* other top achievers come from average schools.
* many fellow graduates from top high schools aren’t so outstanding (like me)

As I said in https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/2016/08/16/roller-coaster-academic-competition/, these late bloomers pump up their effort and prove that their abilities aren’t that much lower than the early bloomers.

My colleague Damien said he became motivated to study only in the uni. That’s a huge contrast to my own learning journey, where my effort level and learning was greatest at high school level (mostly in Beijing), not university level.

Another reason is the nation-wide standardized tests. No such thing in uni, so your lead is significantly reduced.

After graduating from uni, the relative positions change even more radically…

##[18] foods I should eat more in office

Posted on by tiger40490
  1. raw carrot? “As much as possible” because not tasty
  2. chia seeds? “As much as possible” because not tasty
  3. fat-free milk? “As much as possible” because not tasty
  4. fat-free yogurt
  5. –fruits that I rarely eat nowadays
  6. apple
  7. banana
  8. grapes

Even with these foods filling up my stomach I still feel a strong craving for “proper food” i.e. starch! What (less healthy) foods could reduce that craving:

  • milk shake
  • fancy juice
  • chocolates
  • peanuts

Chat with David@CignaEAP

Posted on by tiger40490

Even if only one of these insights/habits become effective, it would change two lives — a parent’s life + a child’s life. Most parents struggle without any breakthrough, without finding any reusable solution.

— communication channel

I think David’s first priority is the comm channel with his boy. “Keep it open for as long as possible.”

  • When the boy turns 16, he would be so busy that even one good chat in 2 weeks is considered a big success.
  • At age 18, parents would have very little influence.

I think this channel is more critical than academics, presumably. Certainly it is more fundamental. This channel gives the parent a glimpse of the world inside the child. Based on that glimpse, there’s a hope to influence and mentor the child.

— 廉价的付出 won’t get you very far. You get the child to open up only when you give more of yourself …

— when a parent thinks the child’s action, behavior, justification,,, is completely unacceptable, with zero merit

I feel sometimes my parents would shoot me down. The child tends to shut up, perhaps after a protest or shameful retreat. Now I think such reaction, such negative experience is not necessary at home. In school or elsewhere, perhaps shoot-down is the natural and logical consequence.

David said we parent can look for some (however tiny) element of validity in the child’s rationale, and affirm it. Give the child the respect/understanding he needs.

As a kid, I sometimes felt my parents didn’t understand my arguments, or didn’t bother to understand them. But there was always, always something valid in my arguments! My friends would listen and affirm , but why my parents would refuse?

— if you want to find out 他为啥这样 （why he behaves in some way）

You would probably need to get the “why” from the kid (not from a counselor). For that, you need to invest yourself, heavily.

— schedule a time for man-to-man such as a game or a meal. I hope he looks forward to it. Even if he is not, he is more willing to commit once there is a date.

 

buy`wellness: how effective@@ #gym

Posted on by tiger40490

There are many “research” or marketing that link fancy new products to wellness. You would think the wealthy would live healthier lives? Alas, the correlation is very low. Below are some of the wellness “products” ☆★

  • $$$★★★ more free time .. you can “buy” it via commute and lower-pay jobs
  • ★★ less driving, more walking, cycling
  • ☆ simple, low-cost workout equipment similar to what I have bought and haven’t discarded.
  • $$★ nearby gym/pool/basketball Court/// as provided by an office or condo
  • $★★ yoga (and other) classes
  • $☆ fancy fruits
  • pre-washed raw veg

In my opinion most of the cost-effective items are low-cost.

I consciously reject most of the supplements, fancy expensive food.

— gym .. I once paid USD 95/M. S$130/M gym fee is tolerable to me, but most of us use the gym only once a week. Let’s assume 8 times/M. How about $16/visit flat rate?

I would feel I could save the money by working out at home. Jolt: but can you do that consistently? Paying the monthly fee motivates me to go there regularly.

## smoothie lifestyle #pre-make

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— biggest time-consuming procedures that require focus focus

#1 ice .. sugg make ice in office and bring home
.. worry: spill while putting in .. sugg: use tight boxes
.. worry: melt too fast if outside
.. worry: some ice chunks get stuck and wasted .. sugg: ignore them, and refill the box.
.. worry: ice melting in blender if left too long .. sugg: leave ice in blender and wait only without liquid.
.. sugg: use smaller ice bags. Can fit into the other drawers.
#2 carving out avocado
.. worry: wasting.. Sugg discard more of the avocado
.. worry: contamination

— to improve tCost of smoothie prep

  • no need to max out on the total volume, like 95% full. Many people make a 70% jar.. fine
  • no need to max out with ice
  • no need to max out with raw veg
  • no need to always put pre-soaked chia
  • no need to always put fruits.
  • no need to worry about the slight waste of stick sugar
  • put condensed milk in a convenient dispenser (honey style) or a can with a lid. TCost is container clean-up !
  • prepare fruits[carrot too] in advance, in a container. Fruit washing/cutting is the #1 tCost
  • prepare ice cubes in advance, in an easy container. Making ice is high tCost.
  • Q: can we buy ice cubes? Perhaps, but I think it’s easy to make small cubes and pack into bags

— distinct advantages of smoothie

  • I can control how much of the taste enhancers to add, not controlled by the merchant
  • easy to make. No cooking required
  • low-cost. Mostly (fresh) milk, fancy fruits,,
  • calcium — good way to get calcium
  • harmless, wholesome nutrition — ice, fiber (see below)
  • protein powder is basically useless without smoothie. When we talk about meal replacement protein powder, we mostly refer to the ice and fiber in the smoothie
  • one of the top 10 slimming solutions that I can stick to

— ice tips

— sources of fiber

  • chia
  • fruits

— milk (+ replacements) is almost necessary

  • milk powder is tasty and much cheaper than fresh milk. I always use warm water to dilute it first
  • low-fat milk is wholesome. Soymilk is less tasty but usable
  • whole milk is acceptable thanks to dilution
  • flavored whole milk
  • UHT milk? taste to be tested.
  • yogurt flavored
  • yogurt plain?

— taste enhancers, used sparingly

  • condensed sweet milk — a few drops work wonders
  • peanut butter
  • honey

— fruits:

  • mango is one of the most tasty
  • persimmon
  • banana is easiest
  • half an avocado — not to heavy. However, avocado’s rich taste is rather mild (easily overwhelmed by banana, mango, protein powder, soy-milk or chocolate flavored milk)

#1 defense in {wellness|PFF|||}

Posted on by tiger40490

In this blogpost, I have a preference for unconventional, innovative views. They are more likely to offer some insight and lasting value.

— In wellness, my biggest cushion/buffer is .. BMI
But I would also point out my lifelong habits in diet, workout…
— in terms of physical mobility, my biggest defense is .. stretching practice for life
— in weight management, my biggest defense is .. timing + portion control
— I have a good appetite. The biggest defense is .. raw veg
— for my hypertension risk, the biggest hazard seems to be … emotional distress
— to prevent lost access to wechat account (important data) … the single most important thing to remember is the mobileNum xxxx5241
— for my career longevity, the biggest shield is … tech-xx absorbency for body-building contest.
Tech xx requires wellness
— risk of job loss, biggest prevention is …. company budget.
In many cases, my tech IV competence is a far more effective cushion, but here question is the Prevention of job loss.
— for my self-esteem on any job, biggest stress-protection for PIP is … my therapeutic blogging as self-help? In this answer, I accept the risk of PIP as a fact of life.

My friend Shou might say “aim to scratch some itch of the manager” but I have never been good at that.
— For the upbringing of my kids, biggest pillar and protection is … strong, lasting marriage built on health!
— for the heavy burden of college funding, first relief is … my kids won’t qualify for expensive colleges
— In family cashflow, analysis is easy. Our biggest protection is … my and wife’s career longevity.
This protection is more effective, more reliable than any government. One reason — government will not give priority to my family among thousands if there’s a pandemic, financial disaster etc.

Most of the disasters I can think of are much more than financial
— for any property investment, biggest cushion is … rental yield (see blogpost on weather-proof: rentalYield^windfall), which depends on location, purchase timing etc.

Warning — rental yield doesn’t apply so well to a home I buy for self-use so it is easy to trivialize rental yield.
— for credit risk in my investments (often risky), arguably the best alternative (as a defense) is CPF or gold. Note USD would drop if US government hits a default event.
— for retirement destination, best alternative (as a protection) is MYS
— for reliable retirement income, the fountainhead is CPF-life supported by SG economy managed by the PAP government.

Malay Archipelago aka Maritime S.E.Asia

Posted on by tiger40490

This archipelago sits between .. Indian Ocean and Pacific Ocean

This archipelago sits between .. Australia and mainland Indochina. (But I prefer “mainland S.E.Asia” with a slightly different scope)

Population of the archipelago — estimated at 550 mil (including 1% in Singapore) almost half of India’s population. I think population density is rather high. Indonesia (280M) is world’s #4.

“Malay Archipelago” is also the title of an influential book by Alfred Wallace.

I think most of the nations were once colonized and till now yet to undergo industrialization.

Long history, deep culture, but never a global leader in technology and education

— Mainlaind S.E.Asia ^ Maritime S.E.Asia (aka Malaya archipelago or East Indies)

This is a simple binary framework to view S.E.Asia as two parts. The two parts have different cultures, languages, history.

I think Malaysia is the only major country that straddles the two parts, though bulk of Malaysia population live in mainland S.E.Asia.

— religion: depending on the scope of “Malay Archipelago”, Muslim (more than 50% of population) and Christianity are reported to be the #1 and #2.

In contrast, Mainland S.E.Asia is predominantly Buddhist, but I doubt this claim.

resilience #WhyFactor #to merge

Posted on by tiger40490

See also

  1. the 2013 blogpost [13]success hinges on resilience; success+!setback, a completely unrelated discussion on resilience.
  2. [[[King’s speech]] resilience despite dependency #EQ

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/w3csyv0l is a WhyFactor production on Resilience

  • top level of resilience is the support network available to an individual.
    • The more supported we feel, the more resilient we tend to become. However, some individuals (children esp.) become dependent on external support and less resilient.
  • middle level — most familiar level of “resilience” is psychological resilience.
  • base level — biological resilience — how in distress you maintain your sleep, fitness, diet, immunity, serenity.

— jolt: resilient people are often those able to articulate and ask for help

Resilience is not bulletproof (invulnerable is another word). I would say everyone goes thorugh fears, pains, stress, setbacks,,,. If you like to be one of those who don’t “break” easily, then I think we first need to stop pretending to be strong, and stop aiming to become stronger. The hardest material tend to be rigid and brittle. SPRaja told me about “bend and sway” — that’s resilience.

“True resilience is accepting help”, proclaims one resilient African women featured in the WhyFactor. I explored in this blogpost on seeking help . When we talk about “true resilience” we often refer to oversized huge blows including covid19. The biggest blows in one’s life is often too big to handle by oneself, when it is crucial to have developed the skills to articulate and seek help.