Tag: T_effectiveOC

##wake up1day..left behind the pack #serenity#NUS

Posted on by tiger40490

k_soul_search .. k_mellow .. k_sinkingXp

See also semi-high-fliers, has more to say about about fake high-fliers.

See also ##[20]won%%battles against FOMO #mellow. This blogpost is not about battles, NOT another ranking. This blogpost is about the fear of waking up to a desperate catch-up. Up to my mid 40’s, I always had an /unchecked/ FOLB about this scenario —

Like the hare in the race with tortoise (+  other contestants), I wake up one day to find some previous peer has got ahead, in one of those “envy domains” [1], and I immediately sink into despair. In the ensuing months and years, I keep sinking, and endure the self-hate for not playing a better game, of wasting my (or kids’) potential.

Real personal examples (below) sometimes serve as better definitions.

This FOLB has been a self-judge sitting behind-the-scene (垂帘听政) throughout my adult life (introspective). This fear drives me into real actions …

Yu.Wang? YY.Tao?

— left-behind is real and inevitable:

Saranyu Lavanyakul, the MS-Carbon ExecutiveDirector, told me he got ahead “mainly by Drive”. In the places of my career, people can indeed get ahead if they keep a steadfast focus on brank + some subset of the envy domains below. ( In contrast, I have chosen to focus on other domains like cashflow, IV body-building…)

Web2.0 salary figures #realistic described RMB 1200k/Y salary in “BAT”. For a 20-something China SWE, hearing those salary figures among one’s cohort is a wake-up call.

So after N years, indeed the gap may (no guarantee) emerge i.e. 拉开距离, as described in BGC: pull`ahead@the pack: personal(!!organizational)effectiveness. We need to live in peace with the gap … Serenity

[1] Some envy domains (mostly successC domains):

  • start-up stardom. Remember [[Brad’s Status]]?
  • brank, OC style of effectiveness
    • eg: Siddesh, LSagain, GS ex-colleagues, CSDoctor, Benny, HY.Cai
  • c++ (and web2.0) interviews
  • top schools for kids
  • trophy university — achieved with UChicago. See NUS section below.
  • lucrative investments, esp. properties
    • Eg: One of many such peers reveal that he has acquired some properties in Shanghai and made a killing
    • Eg: the Wuhan couple HuJun and ShiSha are probably rather rich to own multiple properties in Singapore.
  • green card or Canadian citizenship? But now I appreciate my SG citizenship more than those.
  • high double-income? But now I appreciate my beautiful, hardworking and thrift wife, with her fine judgement and stable career.
  • big house (high maintenance), big car? Now I believe these pseudo assets are liabilities in disguise, and unnecessary in my life. I prefer a minimalist lifestyle

Now I tell myself to be more rational, more mellow, more selective in hearing the news about other people. At my age, what I do care :

  • Freedom and resources to support reflective blogging
  • A realistic amount of additional free time + freedom from stress
    • commute
    • other buffers, slack resources
  • unblocked communication channel with ah-boy
  • healthy kid, beautiful wife, stable marriage
  • Wellness including vitality, sleep, sexual health, strong teeth, aging eyesight+hearing under control,,
  • burn buffer ratio i.e. income relative to burn rate, Fuller Wealth, retirement destination
  • affordable healthcare including nursing care

— NUS and my self-esteem over the years

In 2007 when I received my Education evaluation report on my NUS degree, I sighed a sigh of relief that NUS “is a known entity to the U.S.”. Now in 2022, NUS has improved its standing in the minds of U.S. employers.

Q: Am I still “behind” my mainland Chinese cohort? It depends on the context:
A: Inside China, NUS is probably lesser-known than the top 20 China universities, or most Ivy League + MIT + Stanford
A: In the U.S. , Greater China, or other countries, NUS is possibly better known than most universities in China

The progress of NUS is a sweet revenge, satisfying, victorious, rewarding (for my huge 1991~98 effort)

NTU is still lesser-known than NUS, due to shorter history.  History of a college really matters to public name recognition.

While in NUS, my self-esteem also underwent a roller coaster ride. I felt envious of the medical students, and superior to fellow students in other faculties. For a while I felt envious of the PhD students in my faculty.

Looking back at those years I spent in and after NUS, my self-esteem was vulnerable — naked, unprotected, unshielded from the rampant peer comparison typical of the age band [early 20s]. My self-image was battered, beaten-up regularly, like after every exam, or whenever I’m given a rude awakening due to some random peer comparison with other students across the faculties.

impac on my self-esteem: brand>FirstClassHonors> EE-DL>book prize

visProgress^FOMO^ ocEffective^ envy^semi

Posted on by tiger40490

k_X_FOMO_v_livelihood .. k_semi_kai3mo2

  • T_effectiveOC — personal capabilities, more specific, more narrow
  • t_FOMO — about the fear. more broad
  • .. FOMO^livelihood — more specific about the contrast, contradiction, misPerception. More specific than mellow.
  • T_semi_kai3mo2 [definition] — focused on specific and comparable individuals as kai3mo2[role model], usually with strength, character, rather than dumb luck. T_semiK3m2 is an abbreviation of T_questionable_roleModel
  • t_envy .. jealous, zi4bei1, but not some individuals perceived as in my socioeconomic strata
  • —– Above are the negative themes; Below are the positive themes
  • visPgress — is more general with a wider scope.

[20]G5 Personal advtg Revealed over15Y

Posted on by tiger40490

rmXp?

def@success?

life chances?

k_tectonic

See also

Past title — How many percent of my peers have my {…}

I also have many personal disadvantages (like…) but this analysis doesn’t have to include them for completeness. For years I was fixated on my weaknesses, hoping to overcome my limitations, but at my age now I’m more willing to accept them (Kyle Stewart) and shift focus to my advantages.

— top 5 personal advantages revealed over 15Y.

  • #1 [bcL] my continuous, self-driven learning habit … since secondary school, rare personal advantage. See related advantages below
  • .. [r] see library immersion ] younger years
  • #2 [Lr☆] my burn rate best practices … rare personal advantage. See other cash flow advantages below
  • .. my expense tracking insights + capabilities
  • #3 [bdr☆] my wellness .. a growing advantage over my cohort
  • — The rest are not strictly “personal” advantages
  • #4 [bLr★] SG citizenship advantages .. See ## SG citizenship: $value imt GC
  • #5 [r] stable marriage… Note having 2 kids is not an “advantage” but a luck.

“Revealed” — because some these advantages slowly reveal themselves to be strategic and extremely valuable

“Advantage” — because everyone is trying to achieve (roughly) the same goals. Only the [c] items are competitive in nature.

— Other advantages, not strictly personal or “revealed over 15Y”

  • [Lr] English .. My English skills esp. in writing and vocab — helps my career, kids but more important is reflective blogging.
  • [c] my robust career prospect; my competitiveness on my chosen job market
    • [cr] Here my advantage lies mostly in candidate selection, less in after-sales
    • [b] my dev-till-70 plan — just a plan, but a major difference in attitude
    • [bd★] my WSC option — a rare option among my peers outside U.S.
    • [bcd] my position in coreJava / c++
    • [r] I feel some of the hands-off managers don’t realize my advantage until their 40’s.
  • [bcd] my Beijing asset .. or a property with a similar valuation
  • [bL★] tropical .. my home base in a tropical place, good for retirement.
  • — the minor, the familiar, or the less-specific items
  • [c★] UChicago .. branded degree from a global G50 college
  • [bd★] FullerWealth .. my bare-bones ffree based on FullerWealth, NNIA, brbr
  • [br★] 5/wk .. my current 5/wk workout. If sustainable, this factor would have a real impact on my successE and successZ
  • [] diet .. recent habit/attitudes
  • my (recent) family harmony, with my beautiful wife, lovely kids and grandparents. This is relative. Some friends are luckier, but other people experience major conflicts. Divorce is the biggest _injury_.
  • [bd] my current carefree job with plenty of leisure time
  • [d] my straight and healthy teeth
  • —
  • [b=let’s ask those with relatively high branks like Siddesh]
  • [c=competition goal is for some limited resources]
  • [d=active detachment needed]
  • [L=long-term advantage over 20Y+]
  • [r=slowly revealed]
  • [★☆= this (★=measurable) advantage disqualifies my cohort, definitively by half or more.]

 

中年男士40-50压力最高@@ #w1r1

Posted on by tiger40490

k_X_FOMO_v_livelihood

压力最高是 2008-2009 高盛阶段。最近几年 （2017 年以来）逐步降低。

[w=related to widespread wrong priorities, such as mindless luxury spend driven by blind FOMO, or mindless fixation on brank]

  1. 健康？ 有的中年男士出现状况， 我只是胆固醇稍高
    1. [w] 没时间运动和睡眠？ 我有时间
    2. [w] 饮食失控？
    3. 失眠？我没有
  2. [R] 上有老下有小需要照顾? (Singaporeans talk about the sandwich generation.) 只有大宝这小子叫我操心. Much better after PSLE.
  3. marriage? no major threats or fault lines
  4. [Rw] 房奴？ 只贷款了两年。（其实根本不用贷款。公积金利息比贷款高, 不想动用公积金所以才贷款。）
  5. [w] 入不敷出？ 不工作我一家都够花
  6. 工作职责，任务，压力？ 有的中年男士40多爬到个人事业巅峰，可能责任重大，指挥千军万马。 我没这压力。
  7. FOLB, as hinted in the RoyalSociety talk [[Life Starts at 40]]
  8. 移民？ 的确是许多中年男士头上一座大山。 移民牵扯到购房、医保 、语言障碍、适应气候、歧视、重建人脉、就学、就业、 甚至被迫转行。 有的蹲移民监不敢回国（怕再进不来）连家人送葬都赶不上。
  9. [R] 投资重挫，一蹶不振？Strategic misstep? 我也亏过， 但没损失个人净资产的 1% 所以没啥压力。
  10. [w] 架空？ 有的中年男士薪水或职位太高，公司可以提拔30多岁年轻人“取而代之”。 就算没有迹象，也令当事人忧心忡忡，战战兢兢，捕风捉影地疑神疑鬼。 我不担这心。

— [R] See also may (mail) long chat with R.Teo

— I think the “中年男士压力最高” notion is not supported by enough data .. See [[lifespan dev]]. However, there is enough anecdotal evidence to convince most observers that indeed many 40-59 men suffer multiple stressors.

Similar to the wealth gap (income gap, education gap…), this is a kind of “mental health gap”.

wellness∉ accumulating asset: Buy longevity

Posted on by tiger40490

See also

In this blogpost, Key question is —

Q: For the purpose of wellness (healthy longevity), what can we do about the non-accumulation, esp. what to do using our financial assets?

more text styling welcome.

Wellness is, in many ways, truly more important than personal finance, but accumulation is elusive. I feel habits and (self-)knowledge can accumulate, but wellness condition has rather short-term accumulation.

When you have surplus spare time (or savings) … store it in batteries, like batteries for solar energy, wind energy. We have very very good batteries to store surplus cash, but for surplus spare time the batteries all decay and progressively lose stored “value” but can keep some value for X months:

  • battery: [s4] yoga .. the most disappointing, frustrating, elusive… You lose it soon after you stop practicing, like a Promethean struggle
  • .. [be] self-discovery … experiment to discover sustainable self-practice routines. What instructors said seldom worked. All yoga practices are unsustainable. My self-discovery is slightly more sustainable, but a huge battery nevertheless! Self-discovery to some extent can be baked in. Plenty of positive energy (sunshine + patience) needed to achieve any accumulation.
  • battery: [s5] diet discovery .. smoothie experiment to discover sustainable techniques
  • battery: [b s5] eg: raw-veg diet — once I experiment to develop my capacity and tolerance, it is baked in.
  • battery: BMI deep-green deep-green zone — usually short-lived i.e. fast-decay battery. Over a few years you can accumulate a deep-green condition, but it can be depleted within a few months. At that time, you need the bao3shan1 battle
  • battery:  endurance — I now run more than 10km every week. After I slow down, I am confident I can pick up again. The accu is /baked-in/.
  • battery: swim — the techniques takes years of practice. Techniques improve efficiency and endurance. The accu is /baked-in/.
  • battery: Wellness habits …
  • battery: [e s3] personal research and experiments on diet + fitness — every weight-loser must experiment to find what work for “me”. Ditto anyone hoping to maintain more than 3 workouts a week.
  • .. For the research and insights, some dram-refresh needed
  • battery: [s1] piano … not directly “restores” wellness, but can enhance wellness like sex does.
  • battery: [s2] karma. more good deeds

Biggest batteries: localSys and IV learning:

  1. These batteries “warehouse” spare ammunition for the upcoming battles. These batteries maintain (if not store) competitive energy. Those battles have profound impact on long-term wellness
  2. These batteries protect livelihood, and protect against the heaviest and most persistent stressors.

— [s4] fitness goods and services, better nutrition. Some call these “investment” but I reject this notion.
— [s5] migrate .. to locations with better healthcare infra. Many financially wealthy families choose to live in healthy locations:

  1. better healthcare infra
  2. shorter commute to free up leisureTime 
  3. better weather, highly sought after by retirees. Extreme weather as a health hazard probably shortens life expectancy.
  4. workout facilities
  5. better air quality
  6. more sight-seeing places nearby, to encourage more outdoor activity

— [s3] lower paying job… MMM believes that the successful career individuals should really let go, and enjoy leisureTime. The OC-effective manager peers probably live with inferior work-life balance.

  • have less leisureTime for workout,
  • have worse nutrition balance, often having meals in meetings or at desk,
  • They also have higher responsibilities/stress .. always on the ball, and always seeking delegates/deputies capable of 独当一面.
  • .. These OC-effective managers are always benchmarked against a high bar for organizational effectiveness. Remember
    • Youwei, who worked hard as a team lead in MS
    • I worked hard to fill in the big shoes of the Macq leadership role but couldn’t clear the bar

On cash-flow high ground, I can afford to accept lower-paying jobs.

— [s4] leisureTime .. can be “bought” by financial means
for the vast majority of the world population, as a rule of thumb leisureTime is a prerequisite for active lifestyle with a Planned diet. As an exception to prove the rule, some highly effective role models can pack daily workout into a busy lifestyle, and avoid buying unhealthy foods, but they are a distinct minority in all populations.

Many financially wealthy individuals spend more leisureTime on wellness including

  • workout 5+ times a week, a critical mass
  • .. coach their kids to do the same
  • cook healthy food at home
  • .. coach their kids to do the same
  • meditation (including breathing) + slow workout
  • dancing

Commute eats into leisureTime that is otherwise usable on health activities such as cooking, family time. I think train commute is good if I can always sit. I hate driving for commute. Therefore, I feel those WallSt guys who waste 3H a day on commute is paying too much a price for a marginal gain in salary.

— own url:
https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=24743&action=edit&classic-editor

##[19]a few games I Aced Visibly #MSFM,belly

Posted on by tiger40490

k_soul_search

Title is lousy. No point improving it.

I /aced / killed/ many games. Most visible and most profitable game in this list is tech IV, including

  • 1a) branching out to c# and c++
  • 1b) quant self-study to impress many technology interviewers

The above topic already has many many posts in my blogs. Below are other games I excelled in:

  1. excellent grades up to college Year 1
  2. Earned MSFM with flying colors at age 42 — sustained focus, self mastery
  3. paid off multiple rental properties + my own home, by age 43. All in good locations with reliable rental demand.

Some domains are not really competitive “games” and beyond the scope of this blogpost, but still I excelled visibly:

  1. no belly (as Nick pointed out); weight loss in late 2018, along with pull-up. Jogging habit.
  2. keeping burn rate very low, and achieving some form of ffree around age 30 and again at 43

It’s instructive to recognize the pattern.

  • I think in each game, I had some talent, and a long-term consistent effort.
  • External positive feedback is far from powerful , immediate or frequent, so internal motivation is crucial.
  • All are individual games, not team games. Note promotion is not my game and I don’t need to kill this game to be comfortable and satisfied.

##what U r good@: U may perceive as important2everyone

Posted on by tiger40490

— eg: (OC) effectiveness through leadership vs individual effectiveness

  • “You can’t remain a hands-on non-lead developer past 40..”
  • “communication skill is more important than technical.”
  • “If you don’t deliver what the boss wants, then your hard work won’t be recognized” — is propagated by those who has that talent, like my ex-classmate lsagain.

— financial planning

  • eg : burn rate and non-work income — am good at these two fronts, so I consider them important to everyone. I still believe most people at my age struggle

I think ffree is indeed valuable to everyone, but my approach of ffree involves tough sacrifices like creature comfort, FOMO, and credit risk.

  • retirement planning — those who can claim how important it is for everyone
  • contingency reserve — those who has it claim how important it is for everyone. When disasters strike, this reserve is indeed important for everyone, but the unprepared still survive.

— wellness:

  • eg: yoga  — The practitioners believe from young kids to older adults, daily yoga practice is often required…
  • eg: BMI green zone — since I found a winning formula, I now advocate various fasting schemes
  • eg: daily exercise — some 4% of the population can work out 4 times a week and then believe it is important for everyone. Jenny Lu (MS) .. dev-till-70: 7external inputs
  • eg: longevity lifestyle — those who are able to follow such a (strict) lifestyle often advocate the importance of longevity, but for some people, the prospect of dying at 66 is not so regretable.
  • eg: healthy cooking — those who can cook claim we are what we eat…

— economy

  • eg: those countries able to “get into” life science claim that this industry is vitally important.
  • eg: those countries able to secure a strategic position in energy sector claim that energy security is about our survival.
  • eg: those countries able to maintain a strategic role in upstream digital transformation or knwoledge economy claim that it is the future.

— Other examples:

  • The citizens of China … boast of the advantages of “大国“.
  • eg: harmonious family, family activities — those who can achieve it often claim how important it is.
  • eg: “A happy child makes a hapy family”
  • eg: “train your kids from very young age to be independent”
  • eg: weekly 2-partner private time, common interest within a spouse… —
  • eg: “Every adult should learnt to drive, learn to cook”
  • eg: humor, joking is so very important…

alcohol attitude: layers of complexity

Posted on by tiger40490

See also

Alcohol is much more than nutrition or health. Alcohol is social, not only among teenagers. As a more remote analog, golf is much more than a sport.

As such alcohol (and coffee) is highly commercial. Therefore there’s a lot of sponsored research in the health effects of alcohol. These findings tend to dominate the casual or serious discussions about alcohol.

We are judged — Your alcohol attitude is comparable to your attire or your transportation choices.

Alcohol lifestyle might be important for some salesmen and leaders, but not me. Many of those OC-effective types tend to “advise” me to embrace alcohol. Jolt: I used to feel weak and ineffective in my stubborn, “old-fashioned” attitude on alcohol. Well, now I like my attitude.

There’s too much misinformation and propaganda about alcohol. I have little bandwidth for that noise. Instead, I prefer simple, verified facts about alcohol:

  • In human history, alcohol have never been necessary for health or happiness. The health benefits have not become substantial.
  • alcohol presents many risks not only to health
  • the most widespread and popular club drug is alcohol. As a drug, alcohol has minimal health benefit for the majority of healthy people

My self-knowledge advantage — I don’t waste money or time on this “imported” finer things in life.

— The AAA Question: zero pleasure in alcoholic drinks .. is a blessing or curse? How does my System 1 answer? Blessing

System 2? Given my priorities [avoid suffering, healthy longevity], I would say “Blessing”.

Therefore, if and when I start to feel some pleasure in alcohol (Anurag, grandma or wife?) I need to be very careful with the potential AAA risk.

 

[19]BGC:pull`ahead @the pack: personal (!!leadership) effectiveness

Posted on by tiger40490

k_mellow

living with a few guys for the past few days in BGC (also including the 2015 trip), my advantages, my achievements, my margin ahead of the pack became evident

  • BMI, belly
  • diet control, diet habit
  • exercise
  • burn rate
  • time mgmt
  • job strain (not “stress” or “effort”)
  • income and stability thereof
  • continuous, self-driven, joyful learning with plenty of DRAM-refresh and reinforcement and note-taking
  • career security 20Y out

In a bold extension, I would also include my Wall St friends — My SG burn rate is much lower partly due to Melvin3. As a hands-on developer, my income security is stronger than half the VPs.

At a glance, most of my relative (not absolute) advantages lie in self-mgmt, and I didn’t say “self-restraint” or brute force willpower.

This advantage is only relative because am not perfect … there are some individuals with stronger willpower though they each has weaknesses in self-mgmt. When I find myself in a moment of weakness, I need to forgive and then accept myself, recognize this weakness as part of the human condition, and fight a bao3shan1 battle, refusing to give up.

— reconciliation: leadership, brank:

However strong my self-mgmt is, am not “effective” at achieving organizational goals. Those effective managers are often overweight, unfit, over-spending, failing in marriage, feeling insecure about retirement, or over-dependent on the current employer and therefore lack portable skills,,,,

I feel leadership and persuasion powers are overrated as all the employer put these skills at center stage. Like the Cultural revolution, I have been brainwashed in countless corporate training (eg: OC) to believe that personal-effectiveness is secondary to effectiveness through other people (see effectiveness: OCBC motto).

Q: why am I always apologetic and modest saying “ok I’m good at self-mgmt but I lack leadership, influencing, interpersonal,,,,”. All of THOSE yardsticks are secondary to my life now (and more so as I age) and I actually have basic competency levels on those fronts to do my professional job.

Those skills are not the “内力” as in kongfu novels.

This realization might be the beginning of an end to my lifelong self-pity, self-degrading, self-contempt about my leadership/ladder-climbing weaknesses.