Tag: T_defense

def[utopia] y SO much analysis@ffree, Defense,carefree #Inception

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_X_FOMO_v_livelihood

Q1: what motivates me to spend so much time blogging on Defense, carefree, ffree, FOMO^livelihood?

My current carefree utopian bliss feels fragile, fleeting/impermanent, almost surreal, like a dream, too good to be true.
Also, no one (except my dad) seems to be endorsing my priorities, my habits, my perceptions

Therefore, just as [[inception]] characters constantly check the totem, I feel the urge to review my blogposts in T_defense, T_carefree, T_ffree, in an attempt to make sure my carefree life is real not a /utopian/ dream. I don’t want a rude awakening.

Jolt — perhaps it’s ok to live the (almost surreal) utopian life without questioning it, just like the last scene of [[Inception]] — “Using Mal’s totem – a top that spins indefinitely iFF in a dream – to test if he is indeed in the real world, Cobb does not observe the result and instead joins his children.”

— a related question: Q2: Why writing so many blogposts comparing my ffree with peers?
A: since my teenage years I have witnessed the vast majority of adults (99% of the people around me) struggle and suffer the stress, and later experienced the same myself. Since 2017 I started seeing some reasons to feel free — so surreal and tantalizing as to demand an examination and clarification. After some research, I now believe there are a few /identifiable/ differences (between me and peers) not only in attitude but in actual and projected cash flow figures.

A: FOMO esp. due to brank (a lost game). This is a powerful driver for my comparative analysis.
A: ( secondary j4 ) rationalize my U.S. housing decision. The mainstream choice is a $800k school district home.

See blogposts on HaiFeng discussion, and rely to Genn

— utopia/surreal .. are increasingly used in my blog. It has rich connotations. As used in my blog it can refer to

  • SG as a utopia
  • WSt as a harbor and my tenuous career security
  • finDev as a blessed domain for a given age range
  • my current carefree ezlife
  • my barebones/minimalist/tenuous ffree

— T_FOMO^livelihood spotlights the intersection (rather than “boundary”) between my carefree surreal world and the real world of “other people”.

SDXQ remains a real FOMO, real pain, real dilemma, though it doesn’t affect livelihood.
— My monthly expense tracking exercise is another “reality check” in terms of livelihood, ffree, carefree, brbr
— OC_effective, brank, slowTrack
These are my weaknesses, 短板. Paradoxically, they serve to highlight my carefree livelihood, brbr, barebones ffree, my career longevity
— For a insightful contrast, I also spend lots of time on these other topics but for subtly different reasons:

  • T_bless — I don’t feel any urge to deep dive on this topic. I’m happy with a quick introspection

— career longevity= #1 Bedrock@ffree
As to my carefree bliss, wellness is even more important, more fragile than career longevity.

[19] stressor profile:1st week]SG

Posted on by tiger40490
  • Stressor #1 new job ramp up during first month. First month passed with 80% effort. Some visible progress, but a lot more invisible progress.
  • stressor #2 BGC payment
  • stressor #3 satisfying sex. Not a destressor … why? I seem to take it as a basic need but many people don’t have it and still feel OK
  • stressor: I took on the challenge to meet Ms Goh and address boy’s math challenge. Stress is largely due to choices
  • [☆] destressor: blogging as a tool for focus, clarification, zoom-in
  • destressor: short commute, with git-blogging. I don’t feel part of my precious spare time is “eroded” by commute
  • [☆] destressor: early sleep
  • stressor: diet and weight? but I started on a new diet under very challenging conditions.
  • stressor: yoga discontinued … but I paid for a membership and created a powerful commitment .. highly effective
  • destressor/declutter: cancelled Everyday ccard; cancelled multiple oc accounts
  • [☆] destressor: SGD expense tracking provided clarity and reassurance
  • destressor: the HY exposure reduced
  • destressor: converted USD 5k, as 5k at home is a stressor
  • stressor: unpacking. luckily I did most of it on 2 Sep
  • stressor: ikea lamp: luckily i used it enough times. Accept that we have lost that part.
  • stressor: insufficient outgoing minutes… cost overrun.. consider buying more minutes just to contain the stress
  • stressor: data overusage. I added mobile data limit
  • [☆ =effective]

[19]y aim@lower end@BMI range #again

Posted on by tiger40490

I explained in my long email to Susan Lee — y slim down when I’m slimmer than most#Susan. I also explained to Kyle multiple times though without written record. Now in 2019, I see my weight improving past 61kg towards 60kg, I really wish to improve further. Looking deeper inside myself, here are the top 3 reasons:

  1. lower BMI is a form of deep defense protection against more than half the major illnesses that worry me.
    • I believe this protection has to do with the immune system
    • coronary diseases is the highest risk given my family history.
    • see also BMI deeper green
    • longevity is associated with slim body shape, esp for east Asians.
  2. fitness — has many aspects, but most of the important aspects are critically dependent on body weight. Many aspects of fitness are measured against body weight.
    • now I’m the lightest in 20 years, I feel stronger, more powerful, longer-lasting, more energetic
  3. comfort foods (Kyle) — for de-stress. The slimmer, the more I can afford to use comfort foods for de-stress. I told Kyle this was probably the #1 secret reason. See also background stressor

–Other reasons

  • when I overcome my old diet habits,
    • I feel more in-control..
    • I feel powerful and strong
    • I feel I’m taking good care of the body my parents gave me, rather than abusing it.
    • I feel good about myself
  • Looking around the office, the very slim guys are now my role models.

stress-lite days to relax 绷紧的弦

Posted on by tiger40490

Stress-free is impossible; I try to get some stress-light days once a month — a way for my “system” to relax periodically. This helps the kids and wife, otherwise they tend to see a stressful daddy, always.

My dad always points me to the “string on a bow”, which is under constant tension. Without some periodic rest, it is likely to SNAP! My dad is kind of like me so he knows I tend to get preoccupied and neglect the tension build-up, so he paints this vivid picture for me, over and over until I can recognize the symbol 绷紧的弦.

Practical guidelines for a stress-light day? Theory is fine, but when we implement and hit resistance, we need wisdom + practical tips

stress-light doesn’t mean wasting time. Need to strike a balance.

I think a key factor is the ZSMS after a stress-light day. I tend to feel guilty for wasting time!

Here are some of the activities on a stress-light day:
* reading tech or fin math? Is OK but should be not be “forced”. The motivation can be stressful. So perhaps a light motivation
* physical exercise? Always encourage. Even forced exercise is good for stress relief, but beware “missed punch is more tiring than a landed punch” — unkind pressure to push yourself but no exercise done ==> stress!
* Piano with boy? Can be stressful…I feel a duty. The 10-sec/day rule is practical.
* help boy with studies? More stressful than piano. Be careful. Don’t count the minutes. Make it fun and relaxed. * blogging? fine
* review past blogs; send email drafts? fine
* emailing? fine
* Chinatown shopping? fine but too much tcost
* movie? fine

Does boy also need a stress-lite day? Parents need to be cool-headed and not react emotionally like “look at him.. every study”. I feel there are some differences between adult’s stress and student’s stress:
* Students definitely get more time for physical activity each day.
* They don’t have heavy responsibilities due to other people depending on them.

##[15] effective(?) destressors #random list

Posted on by tiger40490

If we look closely at the deep stressors (https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/2015/12/21/major-stressors-over-the-years/), we should be able to find some very effective shields against the assault of stressors:

focus on the core issues (rest will be fine)
use urg^imp quadrant
parenting wisdom and best practices
cheap furniture
have spares but avoid buying bulk — asking for stress

–Stress protectors:
early planning, the earlier the better
sufficient savings
good health
strong family
support network
balanced, controlled diet (Avoid buffet)

–Stress relief:
exercise
sleep