Tag: T_bless44

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[18]3common stressors4 U.S.middle class like me #bad commute

Posted on by tiger40490

to be absorbed into another bpost?

  1. cashflow for livelihood
    • not enough savings for children’s education
    • lack of home-ownership -> net rental outlay? Not an unbearable stress.
  2. work stress
    • see separate blog post
  3. 2H+ commute eating up time for exercise, family, rest.. In NY most of these guys simply accept the long commute. Not me! I feel the higher salary is a poor bargain.

–outside the top 3:

  • weight, diet and health conditions that have to be actively managed
  • kids school problem — not so serious

##gain` traction+vision {years@envy P1

Posted on by tiger40490

k_bedBug_wisdom  k_tectonic

See also ##GordianKnot Cutters

Need a better title. Old title: “##gain` traction+vision {years@envy”, showing

  1. Gaining (temporary) vision after years of shooting in the dark
  2. Gaining (temporary) traction after years of spinning the wheel

This blogpost grew to become /unwieldy/, so I split it to a sister blogpost on wellness+finance

  • [c = even a SINGLE effective strategy / tactic would put me above the clueless majority]
  • [m = I or someone can teach a class like the master class run by the Value-Investing or e-commerce gurus ]
  • [r = reflective writing proved instrumental]
  • [e = I envied for years, until I figured out some secrets, and now becoming the envy of others ]
  • [t = reached a decisive turning point]
  • [h = hidden barrier]

—- [c] eg: boy’s math coaching… My vision secret? put aside benchmarks and try to increase his intrinsic motivation by 1%. Possibly insignificant (I don’t think so). Definitely better than nothing.
—- eg: secure foothold in the U.S. the land of opportunities. Gaining traction year after year. I am reaching my turning points steadily. Last one was my priority date becoming current.
—- eg: find a women good enough, who likes me. Turning point was 2005.
—- [] eg: underfucked for years
My traction secrets? intimacy calendar. See https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/47636/21-jan-counselling/
—- [ct] eg: ROTI family outing — The tcost of outing was prohibitive. ROTI was always underwhelming if 5H+
My traction secrets? jogging
—- [cmr] eg: bedbugs — some consider them as untreatable. My vision secret? See bedbug heuristics:where, how many,spreading speed,weekly check
—- [ch] eg: use paper as /dashboard/ — more effective than technologies
hidden barrier of effectiveness: access .. paper is far more accessible in writing or display
—- [chm] eg: mosquito .. screen is economical, durable. Additional traction secret: avoid tear at the edges.
hidden barrier of effectiveness: inconvenience.. The suction lamp takes 10% of the effort of other solutions.
—- 1169 main door too heavy and need 3 magnets… My vision secret? friction pad underneath the door is cheaper, far easier to install (no drilling) and more effective
—- [h] door closer detachable middle rod ..
hidden barrier and vision is the tilting angle… when too sloped, it would rub hard on the top surface of the swinging door, and cause a growing problem.
—– [] hair drooping over forehead .. I always had to visit a barber. My vision secret? This part grows faster than all other parts, so I could cut it short by myself.

===== as student
—- [et] improve English vocab and aim to have enough to express myself in writing and carry a conversation
—- [et] improve English listening and aim to follow BBC radio
In terms of listening, this goal is harder because the other person can’t slow down and repeat for me.
—- [et] earliest defining example: Chinese compo — My “traction” secrets to start gaining traction?

  • Use as many nice phrases as possible to describe details;
  • Develop sufficient vocabulary to describe vague or complex sentiments
  • free-flow writing

Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.

===== career
—- [hmt] eg: java (and c++) IV stardom — Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.
My traction secrets? I failed many interviews until I found out what valuable questions to focus on

C++ journey was more winding. My traction required more interviews and easier interviews.

HFT c++IV are still too hard.

hidden barrier: need to impress the interviewers in some tech domain
—- WallSt-pro status — achieved in 2010 after GS.
My traction secrets? not GS trec, not dnlg, but java IV skill !
—- [ce] tech career longevity — against churn. We all envy the doctors.
My vision secrets? I found a “way” to this goal, via WallSt contract market
—- [et] c++ IV, and c++/java combo — envied for years those who can pass C++ interviews. This battle is much harder and longer than the java battle. My traction secret? Here are some

  • bet on the topics. Go skin-deep [1] on a wide (wider than java?) range of paper-tiger topics, but go deeper on several core topics. See c++11,sockets,IPC in QnA IV #Ash.S
    • [1] earlier I overspent myself on too many secondary topics.
  • Use HFT c++ interviews as training only; count successes only at Type1 and Type3 c++ interviews. Focus on outscoring the competition at these easier contests.

 

[19] not leftBehind@any front: real feat

Posted on by tiger40490

I used to feel that my son is one part of me that’s left behind. Now I think he may not go to a top college but he will go to college and find a decent job.

See also wake up1day..left behind #serenity

Since my teenage years I have suffered so much from, and endeavored to avoid, the pain of “left-behind” by so-called peers (chosen so randomly !! )… This pain is fairly similar to FOMO. This pain is the opposite of “other peoples’ envy” concept.

  • early eg: Chinese compo
  • early eg: Y-junction flexibility — I was visibly the weakest in middle school
  • eg: income and brank including startup — see notes below
  • eg: academic kids
  • advanced education credential (UChicago) is an achievement in itself, like a competition title, even if it creates no increased earning.
  • see also the list of “freedom_from_unwanted..” in ##[19] living%%dream life,here-n-now #Detach, such as
    • immigration concerns
    • debt and cash flow concerns
    • overweight — affecting more than half my peers
    • PIP, damaged goods

Remember the movie [[Brad’s status]]? Somehow, miraculously, by age 40 I have achieved at least average status on the east front, north front, south-west front, … virtually ALL fronts. What an incredible feat. I can’t emphasize this point enough.

In other words, on every [1] game important to me, I have achieved enough to avoid the deep emotional pain of left-behind. I wonder how many people can say the same. Pretty rare achievement.

Some of these pains are possibly /neurotic/, but I don’t want to activate the self2judge today. In real life, there are many very real pains not related to left-behind, such as neck pain, appetite, sleep, divorce, family tension.. but these more “real” pains are actually less important to my personality (than to the average guy). From age 15 till now, my #1 frequent pains and deepest pains have always been … left-behind. See the t_1stAid blog tag.

[1] There are some “games” I did care about in my 30’s and 40’s …

— [1] startup dream — for years I had a romanticized dream about tech startups, mostly created in the U.S. pop culture. I often felt left behind when I hear of someone (either considered a peer or not) getting into the startup game. Best example is Zhu Jiang !

— [1] brank — best example is Yiyang. Still a source of deep pain of “left-behind”

— for all of the above.

I have achieved a lot (cf my peers) in many games like wellness, ffree, branded degree, career longevity,,, but still, to earn the worldly, materialistic OtherPeople’sEnvy (OPE), I need to move up (or start up).

This has been the stonewall I hit over and over throughout my career….

Not my game, and I gave up years ago. I think it was wise of me to give up. Over the years I have been working on the give-up, the stonewall, the OPE, and slowly mellowing up.

Now I’m older and wiser. Zhu Jiang, Yiyang… may not have my blessings — my SGP citizenship,,,, my retirement provisions,,,,, my low-stress easy life,,,,, my dev-till-70 path and depth-of-market providing choices,,,,, my overall health,,,,, my healthy and loving parents,,,,,

Q: what’s more important? Other people’s envy or my blessings.

[20]G5 WinnBets :long-term impact@ livelihood[def2]

Posted on by tiger40490

k_X_power_descriptor  k_tectonic

See also

Distinct from those above, this blogpost focuses on big personal “bets” — the big decisions we make throughout our career, with profound long-term impacts esp. on family livelihood. (Singapore government used to make technology bets). A few of my winning bets discussed here relate to ffree, carefree,,

Granted none of these wins is eternal, but they stand out from smaller wins. This Group of bets had a /disproportionate/ contribution to my precious carefree life (in the current phase), and my family long-term security in livelihood [1].

Note the risk of oth. This risk would be acceptable if this list is kept below 5.

Note the pff big bets are now moved to 20-punch card .

  • — the biggest winning bets. The more specific the better
  • chose ZLH as wife — 勤俭, 不苛求, 本分. This bet is beyond ranking and should not be ranked.
  • #1 citizenship — chose SG citizenship for all family members, giving up China citizenship
    • bought enhanced medishields + elderShield early, before the offerings became less attractive.
  • #2 U.S. — chose to enter U.S. and WallSt, even though rather late in the game. I chose U.S. as my 2nd “frontline”, rather than HK/China, Canada, Australia, UK. Switching to WStC + real-time Trading tech in 2010.
  • #3a WStC — chose to remain in Wall St contract path for longevity, rather than the traditional VP career path
  • #3b coreJava — more robust (longevity) than c++, jxee, web dev,, Better marketDepth. Plays to my advantage of theoretical, low-level QQ.
    • in 2006 I bet on java .. branching out from Unix/DBA , perl, LAMP, web java -> coreJava4trading
  • #4 in 1999 (decisively) branching out early to dotcom SWE, leaving the engineering sector, then to Unix admin (non-coding). SWE earn more than semiconductor engineers.
  • — other winning bets
  • in 2010 chose to resign from GS, ignoring deMunk’s departure
  • 2017 re-entering U.S. .. leaving the comfort zone, choosing Jay.Hu and getting priority date done
  • MLP job .. was a tactical choice, but it turned out to be a big winning bet (in terms of work-life balance etc)
  • Chose to give my kids a Chinese language education, saving a bundle compared to the Chinese American families.
  • chose to buy overseas properties with current yield
  • NUS — chose NUS, a growing brand
  • UChicago — I chose to invest hugely into my UChicago credential and gained a lifelong prestige , but “livelihood” impact is limited to the CV.
    • To a lesser extent, my NUS credential also appreciated in value over the decades since I “bought”.
  • chose market data domain + bond math domain — almost evergreen domains
  • English — in 1992 (and even after A-levels) I chose to embrace English as a lifelong skill despite insurmountable challenges

— [1] livelihood – 生计

In this context, “livelihood/生计” means … Survival, making ends meet, including those common disasters like job loss (including involuntary retirement ) or medical bills, but there are many derailers too big to protect. See t_ffreeLimitation.

##[20]won%%battles against FOMO[def2] #mellow

Posted on by tiger40490

k_tectonic k_mellow .. k_X_FOMO_v_livelihood

See also not left-behind on Any front: real feat. I will keep these two blogposts separate for now. This blogpost is more about a list of big battles.  Every battle is a peer competition! In each battle, I had no choice but fight (I think my son may not want to fight). In 2019, I told grandpa that I felt having won the war so my fear of left-behind has /subsided/died down/ but not dead.

FOMO is an alias for kiasu and FOLB i.e. fear-of-left-behind, but for ease of searching I will keep FOMO unless FOLB is clearly less ambiguous.

[w=won or gone completely]

— In Singapore, the “kiasu” mentality is similar, as most of the battles are about peer-comparison or about “limited resources” such as education resources.

— [w] battle of 自己考进名校 — throughout my pre-U years, I shared the common fear that I might fail to get into a good-enough school

— [w] battle of mate-selection — For more than a decade in my younger days, I shared the fear (common among young men) that I might fail to find a good enough women… Consequence is quite serious.

I nearly lost this battle and was ready to live and die a bachelor. My winning chance on this battle dropped progressively to 20%.

— battle of start-up or tech career — fought in my 20’s and 30’s. XR still feels the FOMO vs the web2.0 guys.

— battle of body-building — QQ, CIV etc

— [w] battle of leadership career — either as architect or mgr. Until my 40’s, I have dreaded I might fail to climb up the management career high enough

One of the few battles I have lost and given up. Now I’m /mellow/.

— battle of academic kids — Now I still worry about my kids not growing up “academic” enough, or achieving enough.

This particular FOMO drives the (heavy-weight) housing decisions, esp. in the U.S. context.

— [w] battle of asset accumulation — From my 20’s till mid-forties, when I hear of other people’s property assets, I experience a FOMO anxiety.

Now I realize I have more than enough passive income.

— [w] battle of early retirement — including college funding + medical costs till twilight years.

— [w] battle against rising home price — mostly in China. I feel the pressure on the Chinese young professionals.

— [w] No battle of wellness — Somehow, I never needed to fight a battle of wellness. This real priority never rose high enough to become a visible battlefield.

— [w] No battle of dev-till-70 — my personal “endeavor”. No peer comparison

ordinary folk: PFF struggle > health struggle #involution

Posted on by tiger40490

k_daily_battle

In any rich or developing country, I think 50% (possibly 70%) of the people struggle, on a monthly if not daily basis, more with financial health (denoted FF) than with physical health (denoted HH). These households could be on cash flow low ground or high ground. See notes below.

Some (lucky) individuals don’t struggle with either. (Let’s not bother to ask why.) They are out of scope, possibly outliers.

— update: 内卷^躺平 discussion seems to exaggerate the cashflow struggle. The Chinese discussion ranges from education to work competition and paints a picture of a generation struggling against crushing competitive pressure to survive and get ahead.

内卷 seems to require young professionals (I will leave out students) to sacrifice wellness for some questionable amount of financial/professional gain. Most young professionals seem to accept the sacrifice.

I believe 躺平 means that livelihood pressure in China is actually not so high. The real priority should be wellness not achievement in career or education.

— Q: what specific “things” do other people envy in someone “successful” like TB? I think Mostly they envy the visible signs of success:

  • A: (jolt) not quick commute, but a (visible) prestigious office location, even if it requires long commute
  • A: (jolt) not career longevity, but a (visible) brank
  • A: (jolt) not Fuller Wealth, but exclub wealth including big home. Hurts brbr and closer to the cash flow low ground
  • A: (jolt) not an attractive spouse (not at my age anyway) or stable marriage, but a high-earning spouse
  • A: (jolt) not health (invisible) but health insurance and (visible) athletic fitness
  • A: branded degrees + academic kids

— visibility: financial status is one of the most visible of all statuses. In contrast, Health “status” is less visible before age 50. (Overweight is visible but too common to be a concern.) You could be more healthy than a friend, but usually the difference isn’t visible. Due to the less visible difference in this “status”, I guess most individuals consider themselves in reasonable/acceptable health condition.

Here’s another way to put it — if each person is asked to self-classify into one of three health status zones of

  • deep-green i.e. no known issue whatsoever
  • yellowish green i.e. acceptable, even if not perfect
  • red i.e. non-trivial health conditions

.. then I think the yellowish green zone would be the widest and the default zone. Consequently, most individuals don’t feel the urge or the need to make big healthcare decisions or major lifestyle changes (HH). Actually, many people had better work hard to reduce weight, eat and drink less, quit specific habits… but these individuals self-identify with the yellowish green zone and feel no such urgency.

On the other hand, they all have to work (sometimes pretty hard) for a living, 辛苦工作, 省吃俭用, included as a FF component. Specifically, I perceive a “financial struggle” whenever I see folks worry about job loss, mid-career transition, long term family livelihood, retirement planning, inflation in healthcare, education and housing … Endless variations of Insurance products have been designed to address these financial struggles.

Who on earth need not economize their financial resources? Even the rich need to do so, but economization and give-up isn’t always a financial struggle. How about a “Beijing home ownership” dream? It easily costs RMB 10M but the ordinary salary is …

— longevity target .. Most individuals don’t aim to live beyond 85. So they accept some non-trivial health conditions (HH), and they often decide not to make certain sustainable lifestyle changes (HH).

Note these changes are often tough over the long term. Remember the daily battles (Promethean struggles) in this blog.

— cash flow low ground .. A sizable portion (10%?) of the population seem to be stuck struggling on cash flow low ground. For them, wellness struggle is a low priority unless for a medical reason.

IC designer wage: much lower than SG finDev+westCoast

Posted on by tiger40490

See also SGD 5k tech job @MainSt. The reality is, some sectors have so much money that even the mediocre guys in those domains get paid so much higher than the top performers in IC design.

* eg: web2.0 shops have so much money. Their main cost is salary. Once you pass their interviews, even a mediocre performance would earn you much more than any other tech sector
* eg: For a commercial bank like OCBC to compete for trading developers, it has to pay higher than it pays commercial banking tech developers.

On one hand I feel blessed, but on the other hand it’s crucial to avoid holding on too tight. Try gratitude with detachment.

— I single out IC design as it was, for decades, one of the most coveted job titles in the entire hardware industry (even the broader technology industry) at the very center of digital revolution and knowledge industry, a “poster child” profession with

  • moat — deep knowledge? It looks like west coast coding JIV requires similar amount of knowledge, which is more /accessible/ than IC design knowledge.
  • moat — work experience is extremely hard to get? It looks like there are plenty of IC designers and trading engine developers with sufficient experience, and west coast doesn’t need any work experience, just motivation and IQ
  • extremely upstream? doesn’t mean much in terms of salary. Look at Etch Process engineers.
  • explosive growth? yes in chip production but the amount of custom design has reduced after industry standardization.
    • Similarly, client-side software dev simplified significantly after browser became the standard client platform.

— IC designer salary in SG

https://www.glassdoor.sg/Salaries/singapore-ic-design-engineer-salary-SRCH_IL.0,9_IM1123_KO10,28.htm shows about S$50k/Y base but I know ibanks in SG pay about S$120-150k base

Even a senior/staff IC designer is only up to S$80k

Principal IC designer — S$140-160k. Might be a 1st percentile among IC designers in SG

— IC designer (senior) in Shanghai
up to USD 100k according to Zhang Jiong, pretty much identical to Ying Hui at RMB 60k/M

 

“bought” SG when easier2buy #buyLow #HK

Posted on by tiger40490

k_hongkong

See also competitive trec != predictor of success

SG is now the richest country in Asia, and one of the richest in the world, ahead of HK, US…

When I chose SG in my younger days, I didn’t feel SG was such a clear favorite, outstanding choice for my future family’s life chances. At that time, Singapore was below 30 years young — unproven.

Fast forward to 2020, Singapore is now more proven, more successful, more admired worldwide, more popular among the global professional elite esp. those from India, China, SEA. Therefore, immigration to SG is now much harder more selective. I got my PR/citizenship when it was easier.

Looking back, my dad made the right choice for me, and I had karma (or dumb luck) to choose Singapore rather than U.S., Europe, Hongkong, Canada, Australia, Japan, Korea,,,. In a way, I bought low. It turned out that my wife and I have enjoyed the Singapore benefits.

Not everyone enjoys Singapore as much as I do. Many westernized Singaporeans give up Singapore. My sister also renounced Singapore citizenship. My son? Not sure.

— early-buy is usually lucky

  • adjustment — I chose SG at an early age, so I had more time for a gradual adjustment. For someone coming here in their 30’s, it is harder to accept SG. SG is not such an easy adjustment for everyone.
  • [b] PR was easier.
  • [b] housing was cheaper

— NUS brand value
On a similar note, I chose NUS when its brand value was rather low. Now its brand value has increased significantly.

UChicago is a high brand I bought without knowing its brand value.

— [b=buy-low-n-forget]

Negative demo: Google employees. Bin.Zhao joined Google in late /2000s/and rose to a manager role, so you could say he “bought” early. I almost got a google job offer in 2007. However, what is the probability that I would also benefit from early buy?

%%A: questionable. After the early buy, this “thing” requires care and feeding and may not grow well. In contrast, with a growth asset or SgCitizenship, you can buy-n-forget

— HK ^ SG .. SG was behind HK in the talent race, as HK draws talents from the global Chinese community + the west. Now SG is becoming more attractive than HK for many nationalities:
* SEAsia
* India
* the West
* Japan? China is anti-Japan

— some long-term _Disadvantages_ of Sgp

  1. — half-ranked by novelty and note-worthiness
  2. vulnerable to global warming
  3. very limited scale in some job domains. For those interested in those domains, they may need to work overseas.
  4. over-dependent on foreign workers and foreign talents
  5. energy footprint due to Air-Conditioning all-year round
  6. burning oil to generate electricity
  7. food insecurity .. limited self-reliance
  8. limited fresh water supply .. even though gov is working effectively on reservoirs, river cleaning, catchment

##freedom from common ailment #lucky

Posted on by tiger40490

In the title I used /ailment/ though “pain” would be more direct. I won’t include the wide-ranging yet vague “emotional” pains. Every now and then, we better remind ourselves “How lucky I am to be without the common physical pains”.

  1. [X] no sexual difficulties
  2. [X] no toothache — very very bad
  3. [x] no skin problem
  4. no neck pain
  5. [x] no plantar fasciitis
  6. [x] no ear pain
  7. [x] no eyelid pain
  8. [x] no joint pains #knee
  9. [x] no droop or other bad posture leading to various pains
  10. [x] no mouth ulcer
  11. [x] no headache
  12. [x] no wrist pain
  13. [x] no blocked nose or runny nose
  14. [x|X=personal experiences]

[19]feel`lucky+satisfied as bachelor,now again as married man

Posted on by tiger40490

As a bachelor, I often felt lucky and satisfied due to my [income+savings]->ffree, and freedom from family burden — no kids no wife to worry about. I did sometimes envy those with a beautiful wife or girlfriend, but I never envied those with kids.

Among my peers in our early 30’s, it was rare to feel lucky so often. I’m amazed, in hind sight.

Cornerstone (more than a keystone) — somehow in my early 30’s I was rational, cool-headed enough to withstand the hazard/rampage of widespread but irrational peer comparison (keeping up with the Jones’s).

Fast forward to 2019. Now As a father, I frequently feel lucky and satisfied due to

  1. beautiful wife and kids — my #1 reason to feel lucky at this age. So after I got married, my perspective has changed completely.
  2. long-term prospect of a satisfying or good-enough career — on Wall St till 65
  3. ffree with multiple investment assets
  5. — other factors
  6. competence and relevance on job market
  7. vitality in body and mind
  8. … See the longer list in ##[19] living%%dream life,here-n-now #Detach, and remember to detach !