##[21]visibleGrowth plateau: #江河日下 #w1r5

Posted on Sun, 05/Dec/2021Wed, 01/Jan/2025 by tiger40490

k_def_of_success

See also

This blogpost is about a shared[5] but often vague sentiment of 江河日下 [plateauing]. (This blogpost is therefore non-distinctive, hard to remember , despite the graphical phrases ..)
This blogpost is a serious (perhaps too serious) effort to identify a specific type of personal goals [追求] underneath that sentiment. These goals are primarily defined in terms of CC) successC i.e. measurable–n-steady progress including “batteries” of accumulation. If such a definition is inappropriate [1] then my personal goals are defined in terms of ZZ) successZ i.e. zqbx 自强不息. This blogpost should be mostly about successC.

[5] Remember the timetable in [[Midlife crisis]]?

One clarification about the definition … The antithesis of progress/accumulation/自强不息 is stagnation/decline , surrender, passive_acceptance, fat-n-happy… Despite my best effort, this definition is still abstract and unintuitive. The big list below helps clarify it but is not extremely effective. So we need both the definition and the list.
——- end of the lengthy definition ——–
Background: During my HibernateInSingapore phase, frequently I feel /lousy/[4] and would occasionally lament[2] that my personal growth, as defined above, has slowed down, plateaued, past the peak, 江河日下 or 下坡路. Don’t get me wrong — I’m still pushing myself hard on absorbency, on personal improvement, on plowback,,, as I still hate wasting my precious time and energy in “cruise mode”.

As we age, hopefully some earlier domains of (personal) growth would be replaced by new domains of growth. “One door closes, another one opens.” Crucially, the progress we make are often impermanent … Imperfect batteries of accumulation.

[2] the lament is a paradox because at the same time, my family livelihood is actually improving towards a carefree ezlife. Mellowing up, letting go, loosening up, /unwinding/.. The paradox reflects the conflict between successE and successC.
[1] The two parts are actually interdependent. In more and more domains like BMI, stretch, Dram-refresh,,, I can’t make real, lasting progress. Quite often, the defining features of “burn” [materialistic gain + self-discipline ] are fundamental to both successC and successZ.

Also fundamental: my absorbency (and time) continues to be a scarce resource. 鱼与熊掌. As I shift my focus to wellness, I choose to let go and defocus on successC [localSys, coding drill, Dram-refresh ..].

One of the best analogies — A start-up, an emerging economy, a young athlete/artist/writer .. also experience the same slow-down, plateau, or apparent decline (as in Japan) after years of fast growth. Hopefully some lessons can be shared. Re A.Brooks article.

— the list of personal goals (as defined above) giving rise to the lament
[m=measurable … not always a “progress”]
[b=battery or progress]
[a=absorbency]

[ abm] BMI .. the best type of tough goal — measurable, easy to monitor, strategic leverage. BMI is my #1 goal. I am able to keep my weight below 65, but trying hard to bring BMI to deep green zone.
[E am] chin-up .. kinda measurable but progress is easily lost.
[D a] stretching .. I target 1 minute/day. Real effort to maintain a few minutes a day. Not measurable .. I once had some hope of improving range of motion, but has given up completely.
[C am] weekly workout .. frq improving towards 4. Targets are well-chosen.
…. [C = decent effort or decent progress]
[ abm] coding drill [D] and [C] QQx .. including Dram-refresh.. now a LGlp.
[ am] quant study .. not comparable to MSFM years or the earlier self-study years, but in hindsight, what’s the long-term value of MSFM? SuccessZ, successC [branding]
[E ab] localSys .. [including Dram-refresh] no target; some effort once a while
[D b] wider recreations .. to pre-empt boredom or loneliness in retirement (re grandpa). No target, but I try to /cultivate/ writing, music, stock-picking, workout variety.

List above are the the ^^ ~~improvement goals~~ ^^. I tend to focus on “room4improvement”, subconsciously motivating myself. However, nowadays I like to focus more on the positive factors, so below is the 2nd list of personal goals (same definition). I have done well on these ~~celebrated goals~~:

[B] dental health, memory aging, mentalPower .. reasonably well-maintained
[C-] stress prevention/reduction/protection .. improving gradually as we mellow up (and gain introspective insight), and transition to maintenance mode.
[C-b] family bond .. [marriage, parenting] not bad at all, improving. Fruitful (rather than wasteful) family time
[C+b] DIY skill .. (crucial in U.S.) improving progressively
[B-b] preparation for U.S. relocation .. (financial++) improving fundamentally
— career, finance #the familiar domains
[B b] IV competitiveness .. Not growing but staying in shape; well-maintained.
[B+b] (long-term) career and (current) job security
[A-bm] salary .. well-maintained, much better than feared. I now care less about exclub. By livelihood target, my salary is A++++.
[A-bm] NAV and FullerWealth .. growing at a steady pace from strength to strength, hitting my targets
[A m] brbr … well-maintained.
[C bm] stock picking .. enjoyable, not tough burn. Targets are LGlp.
[B+b] brbr recon .. improving
[C bm] rental mgmt .. BGC improving; Cambodia excellent

The two lists have to be well-defined to be meaningful. Some other items don’t require _effort_, therefore out of scope: sexual health; heart health; work/life balance;

— [4] (A partially related topic) over short-to-medium term I have been feeling lousy, partly due to burn [absorbency] , partly due to laser, partly due to measurable progress (mostly successC)

[z] too many movies .. either in cinema or at home… improving
[cz] AMB .. limited _visible_ progress, but I don’t want to feel guilt or inferiority
[cz] coding drill .. Recently, I didn’t help friends’ CIV
[z] diet .. real achievement to maintain discipline
[cz] BMI .. no improvement since Apr 2020, but real achievement to reverse the decline
[cz] math coaching sessions + father/daughter bonding .. visible progress
[c] communication channel with boy .. visible progress
[c] new HDB .. Something important to wife. I did put in lots of serious effort.
[c] MOETF .. the recent incremental acquisition is a key feature of recreational stock investing

[c=successC]
[z=successZ]

— Grandpa’s corrective comments.. I told grandma that compared to my cohort, I feel too fat-n-happy 沒有追求. He corrected me .. 沒有过分的追求. He is right. I still work hard towards my goals。

I also told grandpa about my feeling 懒散, 无为之道. Again, he corrected me — I’m a responsible professional, and dedicated father.

I am basically comparing with the earlier self, but things have changed in terms of priorities, vitality (energy level), career runway ..

碌碌无为^successE^successZ #xpSelf

Posted on Thu, 02/Dec/2021Sat, 23/Mar/2024 by tiger40490

k_Kahneman k_def_of_success

##[21]subconscious brush-off @%%superiority]cohort

Posted on Tue, 20/Apr/2021Wed, 14/Feb/2024 by tiger40490

k_X_focusing_illusion k_soul_search

(a good title is hard)
For decades, I tend to practice a slightly excessive form of modesty, bordering on self-degradation.

Opening example: I have worked my ass off to improve diet and BMI, but when I meet a OC-effective guy, or a humorous/witty guy, I often ignore my BMI advantage and regard him as superior.

If I can recall and name 50 “superiors” [Yang, Venkat, Shou,], 95% of them would have some serious inferiority such that I would hesitate to trade places with him. The exceptions tend to be people I don’t know so well…. I can’t know their inferiorities.

Overall, I think my habit has served me reasonably well. 谦虚美德. However, sometimes it’s slightly unfair and unjust.

inferior: Many of them (or their kids) grew up in an incomplete (if not broken) family. Many of them lost a parent fairly early.
inferior: half of them are overweight if we include the non-Chinese.
inferior: Most of them do not have my superior diet habits like raw veg/fruits, low alcohol, low starch, low fat, low frying
inferior: Many of them have experienced more wellness declines including sexual, bone density, endurance, muscle loss, BMI, eyesight, hearing, hair loss,,,
inferior: Unknown number of them have non-trivial but hidden issues in mental wellness, including sleep, relationships, stress, aggression
inferior: Most of those occupying higher positions have work stress and career risks far more than I have as a contractor.
inferior: Most of those high-flyers don’t have my career longevity. This is another “battery” I have built over decades but I tend to dismiss, esp. when I meet some high-flyer who is without this longevity but… superior ?!
inferior: majority of them have long-term financial concerns like medical + inflation, retirement income. Note some of them have no kids.

— reflections on the 92S27 reunion in May 2022

I told grandpa later on “not worth my envy: their cars, expensive homes, maids, top schools for their kids”. These are often white elephants.
This is part of my emerging wisdom as a greying and thinking adult.

I also told grandpa that my skills are in demand, with market depth in a growing sector.
I want to actively reduce attachment to the EPA comfort zone.

I tend to brush off my advantages in diet, workout, bonding with kids, brbr, cashflow high ground, lifelong learning.
Many of my advantages over these ex-classmates are in successE and successZ.

In whatever that matter to me, I don’t feel left behind. I am getting ahead, in stealthy footsteps.

wellness∉ accumulating asset: Buy longevity

Posted on Fri, 04/Dec/2020Tue, 21/Sep/2021 by tiger40490

##layers@ buffer|alternative|batt ⇒security

Posted on Wed, 02/Sep/2020Sun, 09/Feb/2025 by tiger40490

k_tectonic ,,, k_office_sanctuary

This blog is /fairly good/ at focus — focus on 1) buffers or 2) alternatives or 3 batteries

Multiple layers of cushion/buffer/slack-resource … always give me a deep sense of enhanced security. I’m very sensitive to this kinda thing. I feel our life is a small dugout canoe in the high seas, battered by the high waves… soooo many storms, perils, blows, threats, dangers,

Defining example of buffer — the past reserves can tide over the SG economy and buy time, but this buffer can be depleted. Therefore, the current term of government must use the past reserves in a sustainable way, not to consume the fruits of the previous generations and leave a reduced reserve for future generations.

Note on optimism — layers of buffer sounds defensive and pessimistic, but is optimistic at a fundamental level. If you don’t believe in the buffers, why would you bother to build them?

I wish the list below can be more focused on a specific theme. On the other hand wide-ranging is kinda good.

[b] strong family — protection for every family member
[b] social support network … beyond family-n-friends
[bt] UChicago brand creates a protective buffer over my self-esteem
——– wellness (including mental) protector
A [b] plenty of spare time for workout and rest, rather than fully stretched .. to protect against spare time “resource” depletion
- A [b] plenty of paid leaves to protect against depletion of “slack resource” such as spare time
[b] office — (even MRT) as a harbor with wifi for my laptop … is an invaluable alternative venue when home becomes too “hot” with tension and distress.
[d] EAP counsellors, Cigna-accepted psychologist, even trusted friends like Raymond … as “redundant support network”, to help me deal with various challenges. Note SG offers more social support than other countries.
[b] early rise — good for wellness, but under stress I tend to “eat into this buffer” i.e. slowly delay early rise
AAA+ [b] #1 eg: low BMI / cholesterol / blood pressure; pull up + fitness …. to protect against wellness “hazards”.
AAA [b] high fruit/veg, low fat/starch diet …. to prepare for stress binge
AA [b] on belly, low visible fat to protect against (almost inevitable) bulging
[b] light body weight relative to my strength, as shown in my pull-up and curl-up
——— alternative gz (+ school) choices
[d] teaching and research as an alternative career, thanks to my branded master’s degree
A [dt] internet and finDev as two alternative job markets
AA [dt] SG and U.S. as two alternative job markets
A [dt] c++ in addition to java; jxee in addition to coreJava to provide many times more job opportunities
A [d] SG, U.S. and Australia schools for my kids. Many would see them as viable alternatives.
See also my “juice meetup” email to Ash.S
Ash.S suggestion: Consider small firms .. I agree that either in Singapore or the U.S. small firms are less selective, and less strict in hiring.
Ash.S suggestion: Consider quant dev .. I hear you that quant dev roles are possibly growing in Singapore job market. This could become a promising green field for my next job search. I’m good at math, with a branded qualification.
My intern’s suggestion: Once I reach a high salary, and have enough of the associated stress + responsibility + expectations, I can hope to find a slow-pace semi-retirement job, at a lower pay like 120k ~ 180k..
——– career buffers
[bt] plenty of coding drill and QQ accumulated over the years, fully digested in my own words in blog and github. If there’s a decline in my learning, this visible, measurable built-up buffer would be valuable. Remember the aging Batman in the Bane movie — he relied on his past training to rebuild strengths.
[b] sustained traction and engagement (at least neutral attitude) on tech xx. See reliability @ effort^talent. If there’s a decline in my level of engagement, I think it will not drop to zero. I can feel an invisible buffer therein.
——– personal technology++
multiple browser brands
[bd] multiple low-cost laptops for coding drill and git blogging. In crunch time, I need this backup support.
[b] diskHog/landGrab files to be released when I run out of disk space
[b] simple smart phones. Don’t get addicted and dependent on the newer smart phone features
[b] low-cost commercial VPN, gDrive, wpress… can help reduce stress (via buffering)
buy cheap but reliable furniture and gadgets to reduce stress
- [b] have spares, thanks to the low cost
——— cash flow planning is my strongest hand, so let’s avoid the obvious or the familiar
When I reduce my family BR, I feel my buffer/cushion growing
[bt] bx: hospitalization cash payout as additional buffer
AAA [b] wife able to make a living; sister able and willing to help support my kids if something happens to me
[d] MYS and China as additional/alternative retirement destinations, if SG becomes difficult
[d] currency diversification — USD assets, SGD assets, RMB assets
[AAA etc = reliability rating of the buffer/shield] See locus@control:current carefree high ground mostly due2%%effort
[b = buffer. I like the imagery of energy-absorbing buffer stop. They absorb impacts from unexpected adversities and buys me TIME.]
[d = diversification … to put my eggs into multiple baskets]
[t = battery of accumulation]

— defense ^ protection ^ shield ^ buffer ^ ^^

“Defense” and “protection” are more proactive, more adaptive, while “shield” and “buffer” are more passive and static. A defense/protection may not have any physical form — it can be an attitude, a psychological preparation.

buffer .. even more static than a shield.

alternative .. often an effective “defense” (not a shield).

battery .. less clear. Definitely a form of defense. Not a static shield.

Note that a buffer, shield, and esp. a battery all require periodic /reinforcement/, therefore never “100%” static.

G.W.Bush: politicalCapital to spend{reach`ffree

Posted on Sun, 14/Jul/2019Wed, 14/Feb/2024 by tiger40490

k_X_power_descriptor

btv-open

≠→≅

Tag: T_batt