Tag: t_fuxi11

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[19] expectation@boy: Need2avoid..

Posted on by tiger40490

See the complete list at ##Let us accept #current pains

Need to avoid micromanaging his homework and losing my cool
Need to avoid comparing with me on STEM subjects
Need to avoid talking to LianZhong or other parents with academic kids … counterproductive

Whenever I say “compared to the academic kids” or “the China students”, I’m implicitly using myself as the benchmark.

When other parents start talking about top schools, I need to either politely get away or change topic

— i need to listen and focus less on stories of my friends practicing math at young age.

These guys could do it because like my daughter they have more absorbency.

Listening to these stories increases my frustration that my son lacks the “normal” absorbency and is somehow inferior.

In reality, many people lack the absorbency but have other strengths, so not inferior.

 

##browser tips: hot key++ #alt-leftArrow

Posted on by tiger40490
  • All 3 offer reopen-last-closed-tab
  • close current tab — ctrl-w
  • ctrl-shift-click on a link to open in new active tab
  • .. Gc/Op tested
  • — Op = opera
  • back to last page — ctrl-leftArrow
  • ctrl-shift-b (F1 for me) to open the very useful bookmarks page .. to move bookmarks among speed-dial, other-bookmarks..
  • to remove unwanted speed-dials: go to bookmarks -> speedDial -> find an “x” button (i.e. delete) on each item.
  • ctrl-click on a link to open in new inactive tab. Better than context menu!
  • — Ff = firefox:
  • in-page find: WholeWord
  • — Gc = Google chrome
  • alt-leftArrow to go back
  • ctrl-tab to switch tabs
  • too many icons to the right of address box? Each is a chromeExtension. To clear them, click on jigsaw-puzzle icon beside them

sugar +! starch/fat=not addictive #Chinese tradition

Posted on by tiger40490

Eg : 裕华国货 + 牛车水 street food — when I visit there after half a year, 99% of the attractive foods are starchy.  I think my upbringing in China is a huge influence, where starch is the main source of energy — 主食.

Below is a half-ranked list, based on years of observations of my “system”,

  • starch alone is addictive and “slippery” — can slide down into binge over 500 calories. I can eat 10 standard slices of wheat bread without realizing the calorie load (about 800 calories) .. I used to think wheat bread was slimming diet given the low-fat low-sugar high fiber. Completely ignorant and ill-informed.
  • fat alone is addictive but highly visible therefore not slippery like starch — cheese, nuts, avocado, butter, 猪油渣， 炸虾片，
  • In contrast, sugar alone never gets me addicted or leads to binge. consider candies, sweet fruits…
    • all the hundreds of sugary drinks available in stores and everywhere … never got me hooked 🙂
  • !  sugar + starch — Singapore deserts; red bean paste; roasted sweat potato
  • !! sugar + fat (oily, fried, or milk-based) is dangerous — chocolates, ice cream, milkshake
  • !!!  starch + fat (with or without sugar) is THE ultimate killer — cakes, scone,potato salad, pizza, tuna subway

(Unlike other dieters, I am more relaxed about sugar than starch.)

overcoming youth mental health difficulties

Posted on by tiger40490

Until my college days, I had various “youth mental health difficulties” (too many to enumerate:) and now I feel confident enough to offer my strength and helping help to the struggling, sinking, drowning young people esp. if it happens in my family.

Visible progress!

I wonder what specific things “rescued” me.

  • self-care, as described in the BBC program https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0001f1g
  • confidence in my health as in freedom from illness. I no longer feel like a weakling.
  • self-confidence in my stamina (not only in jogging) and absorbency
  • self-confidence in my diet control, weight control, yoga
  • (.. A lot of the above are related to locus-of-control)
  • expressive-writing : resonating with me — my capacity to write in English (and Chinese) to give expression to my conflicts, confusions, frustrations, doubts, anxieties/depressions, self-hates, … I started with handbooks and then found a superior combination of text editor and file system (“recoll”)
  • deeply introspective blogging on a wide range of topics, as a form of self-healing, self-counseling
  • –Here are Some of the fundamental changes introduced into my system. Out of dozens of self-help books I have read, the most therapeutic are all highly cognitive in nature, and all written by Western psychologists.
  • 1. LetGo, mellowing, takeItEasy — thanks to Theodore Issac Rubin
  • 2. optimistic explanatory style
  • 3. positive self-talk — thanks to the book [[talking to yourself]]
  • 4. To a less extent, I also relied on counselors, SOS hotlines, and listening friends/family, but mostly in my younger days.
  • my successful experiences helping multiple friends get jobs, or forming partnerships

##lifelong Habits i wish to pass to next generation

Posted on by tiger40490

This is first and foremost a record, supposed to be precise, with numbers. It could be used for education purpose, if suitable.

Me/Grandma/Grandpa: regular exercise. They usually exercise more than once a week. Me: read on MRT and in bathroom
Me: avoid addictive games
Me: avoid TV
Me: avoid oily, fatty, fried food, even though I liked them for a long time Me: I enjoy veggie more than in my younger days
Me/grandma: more fruits, even if we don’t enjoy
Me/grandpa: take notes when reading. He was paper-based but still effective Grandpa: set goals with timelines
Me/Grandpa: (vague) lifelong learning
Me: blogging, personal diary
Me: savings habit. Phase 1 (bachelor), Phase US… I save some every month.
Me: cognizant of expensive yet non-essential (fashionable) things. Too many examples (golf, tennis, air travel, )

–minor, not highly valuable but very beneficial:
Me: practice the passwords
Me: refresh my memory on many things I learnt. Toured out to be very effective Me: organize my belongings by category
Me: tooth brushing technique, but not enough flossing

%%worry/anxiety habit affecting kids

Posted on by tiger40490

Everyone who knows me feel I worry too much. I think this is likely to affect the kids. I think it shows in my (para-) language. I think the most effective counter measure is awareness. Other measures:
* more positive, supportive words
* admit my tendency to worry and tell those to kids

set measurable target with definite time frame, or waste your spare time

Posted on by tiger40490

k_rmSelf_vs_xpSelf  k_soul_search

Here’s one of the key justifications/benefits of the UChicago program. Without it, I would make some effort at self-learning it but after 3 years this personal goal would get no laser no O2 no measurable progress and my spare time would be basically wasted …. according to the rmSelf

I think yoga training is a similar story, though the value is less $measurable. Weight loss would be much higher value.

I think Tony Robins would probably advise you to set these targets.

! Notice most (if not all) of kids study “improvement” is has low $measurable value:
– piano .. measurable
– renzi .. measurable
– swim .. measurable
– compo/blogging .. measurable
– typing .. self-measurable:)
– mental arithmetic  .. measurable

So which parts of my life experience offer positive/neg examples? See also post on burn or rot.
+eg: learning cpp — measurable by job IV
** coding projects
** tech blogging
+eg: learning swing — measurable by job IV
+eg: learning c# and MSVS — measurable by job IV and OC job. Without this job, I would spend some personal time learning this stuff but basically make no visible progress.
+eg: algo IV — measurable
+eg: learn 5bi (dropped due to ROTI)
?eg: email + blogging with friends
-eg: personal inv + trading
-eg: meet up with friends