The inequality of inside^outside is also present in China, but somehow less so in Singapore??
k_soul_search
This blogpost has a /livelihood/ focus, unintended and naturally developed. I want lower /concentration/ of pff content in this blogpost. In contrast, the 2007-2009 blogposts below might have relevant pointers beyond livelihood:
Newark airport was not as convenient as Changi, but was soooo much better than outside the airport. Outside was like a third-world country, as my Singaporean colleague Shawn described. Convenience has a price in U.S., as I soon found out.
small adaptation: cCard needed everywhere. I had to work for a few months to get a cCard, but in hindsight, a debit card was probably sufficient for one or two people.
When I accepted the $67k Polaris offer, what I didn’t foresee was my BRBR drop, from my SG level (1.0~1.5) to below 0.5, calculated as monthly surplus/ spent. Half the everyday items were far more expensive than in SG [rental; taxi; any repair] but many imported goods were affordable, occasionally cheaper than in SG. It was a breakthrough when I discovered big discount stores, that support millions of lower-income Americans.
(I felt so much at home in those stores, and in 2007 I would spend hours there as a recreation. Walmart etc also give generous refunds.)
My spending was comparable to an immigrant couple earning 30~50k (I may have records of my cash flow figures) as I quickly established my cashflow ground rules to fortify my low-ground embarkment, and to inch up to higher ground:
- rent [3] .. accept a level much lower than my peers or the standard “up to 40% of take-home income”
- healthcare [3] .. See below
- car costs [3] … see below
- JustSayNo to many finer things in life like entertainment, gadgets, fancy foods. Dining out only at modest Chinese restaurants. I would often choose takeout of egg fried rice.
- build up a cash reserve, a livelihood buffer (not for investment)
From the first weeks in the U.S., I had noticed many white-collar Asian immigrants (/predominantly/ East or South Asian). All car-owners, presumably college-educated, usually English-proficient (not always as good as Singaporeans who grew up speaking English). In early 2007, during my difficult adjustment period, I looked at them and I though they had all accepted the high cost, /inadequate/ public service, inequality, in their adopted country, and they were working hard to increase income and keep their heads above water. In hindsight, I think a typical Asian immigrant family’s burn rate is 10k including mortgage, pTax, medBx, pre-college education. This burn rate is heavy burden for many of them, and much higher than the median household income… See Q3 below.
Either in 2007 or 2017, I often had a real feeling of being poor in a rich country, when I focused on what I didn’t have relative to the locals (beyond the Asian immigrants). I guess this is classic exclub complex?
* car .. not the biggest “wealth gap”, but the Biggest convenience gap.
* big house with landscaping, or SDXQ home
* medBx
* GC, citizenship
* double-income
* investment account
In Woodbridge Corporate Plaza, I noticed the huge difference in and outside the business park. In hindsight, it was a sign of inequality. I recall 三毛 (san1mao2) standing outside a restaurant window, admiring a well-groomed, well-fed boy enjoying a birthday cake with his wealthy parents. In the cold 2007 winter, I would feel, paradoxically, sometimes Outside sometimes Inside.
- Compared to the unskilled (Americans or immigrants) I felt like inside the warm business park buildings, surrounded by landscaping.. because I was a skilled SWE.
- Compared to those white-collar Asian immigrants, I felt like standing outside that restaurant window.
Many ethnic groups help each other get inside (inside anything), not only the new comers and the less educated. Without this kind of community help, you struggle for two year in the “third world” and get used to it. I think I heard it from Polaris colleagues (India) and Fiona. However, I was wary of overreliance on community help, which might restrict my mobility.
mid 2017 inflection point: I slowly passed more and more java interviews and realized I had a killer skill as a SWE Candidate, with a in-demand skill in a profitable and growing sector with depth of market. I felt even better than a young actress, or a freshman basketball sensation, upwardly mobile. I saw a clear path to get inside that restaurant window.
Conclusion: to adapt in such a challenging environment, I had to tighten our belt, let go many “finer things in life”, and learn new skills… A test of our /resourcefulness/ and adaptability. Implications for the next family relocation:
- choose average schools, similar to my other 2007 decisions.
- go without medBx for myself for a few years until one of us get a company insurance.
- live below the middle class Chinese American standard, since they have double-incomes and have big homes in top school districts.
- keep our focus on the burn rate big tickets — housing, medBx, car,
- Avoid using NNIA. Instead, save some salary every month. BTW, dividend stocks are unlikely to make a difference, not beyond $200/M NNIA
Q3: As of 2007, Median household income in NJ was around 50k/Y, so how did Americans cope with such price level, without my ground rules?
A: I think for a DINK couple, the median was higher, perhaps 70k
A: a large portion of the American households are not home-owners .. no mortgage or pTax. Some don’t have medBx
A: I think many Americans earning up to 67k/Y tended to spend beyond their means, had poor brbr, didn’t build a livelihood buffer as big as mine (I have a blogpost on contingency reserve levels in American households). They suffer [both xpSelf and rmSelf]
Q: how did my xpSelf fare during the adaptation? A: U-index was probably worse than SG-before-2007 but probably recovered fairly soon, even before GS. We were happy in Boston.
Q: how about racial discrimination during 2007? A: far smaller a livelihood challenge…. ranked outside my top 10 adjustments.
[3] the Big-3 burn rate items
— After my reunion meet-up with Miles.Y in mid 2023, I felt he might be looking through a similar glass window, at the comfortable life in MLP.
- generous medbx
- comfortable salary
- comfortable workload
A key feature in Miles’ case: He is fully aware that inside the glass window is not for him, so there’s no blind envy.
— shock/adaptation: healthcare was extremely costly for me (from SG) and for Americans without medBx.
(Adaptation) I had perhaps two dental checks and relied on my SG trips instead.
(Adaptation) Can’t remember what medBx I had before GS. Very costly so I decided to go uninsured at least for myself. Calculated risk-taking. Breakaway from peers.
(Adaptation) since healthcare is market-driven in this country, I decided (long after 2007) to seek alternative treatments available on the market. I found Chinatown TCM. I found OTC medication and the helpful free advice of pharmacists.
(Adaptation) I also brought proven medicine from other countries.
— shock/adaptation: car-first nation. This one took a while to sink in. In hindsight, this might be the biggest baggage I carried during the adaptation.
Car costs [3] were too numerous too complicated.
(Adaptation) I probably tried learning to drive for a while and it was too hard for me, and felt like a handicap.
(Adaptation) So I decided to rent in well-connected locations and rely on railway.
(Adaptation) furniture? not “for now”. We would keep moving.
A related shock/adaptation: no Chinese food or grocery for my wife’s cooking. Without car, we couldn’t visit “nearby” Asian supermarkets every week.
(Adaptation) So in the end, we relied on MTA subways and a big shopping cart. But the lifts had horrible SLA, and weekends often had limited services.