visProgress n time utilization

I have an uncommon and unreasonable view that most of my waking hours should produce tangible “return” like learning, self-improvement, fitness or help kids learn.

Q: how about reading on parenting or just newspaper? I do allow myself but in hind sight I often feel bad. I feel worse if the reading is not so mainstream, like …

I now feel personal growth doesn’t have to produce self-glorification. How about cooking, kite-flying, dancing, sight seeing … without any talent whatsoever.

— Though I don’t have many examples, now I think most individuals who make more money don’t view their personal time as raw materials for a manufacturing process.

However, salary is a very poor proxy for success, as poor as net worth, brank etc. A less poor proxy is brbr and Fuller wealth (after achieving health)

prefer slim^brank@@P2 #completeLife

brank[11] mediocre
kids
basic degree slim fitness: endurance,
yoga..
commute beautiful wife
complete[1] complete complete complete No. 95%
complete
No. 99.9% complete complete No. I would
feel unsatisfied
dismissible? tough tough no no no no no
painful[2] ? tough pain pain overweight
would be pain
pain tolerable pain intolerable
just how
intolerable
bad most peers have it self-image For 30Y I have felt
defective about my
Y-junction flexibility
I have never
got used to it
longing
note: prestige
unimportant
peace [3] blissful peace peace unhappy “30Y” unsatisfied unsatisfied
but at peace

I see a fundamental difference between Brank and Slim. The same difference is explored by several related questions:

[1] Q: is your life complete without this “thing”?
[2] Q: Is your life tolerable without it after a while? Yes/No question. No “maybe” please.
[3] Q: can I live with peace and blissful happiness without it?

Conclusion — even without brank, my 50Y remaining life can still be full and complete but without slim body shape I would feel bad for decades to come.

Conclusion — lack of brank is not a pain I must “manage”. In contrast, Body shape and inflexibility are.

Once one of us retires early then there’s no brank to compare.

[11] How about robust career prospect till age 70? Not sure if it belongs to either category but my contract career is more robust than most of the brank careers. Ask Honglin.

[19]diet: top achievements #beyond weight

I’m fairly confident these achievements enhance my health, not necessarily slimming. Weight seems to improve automatically and rather swiftly when I focus on calories.

  1. … ranked by 1) effect 2) effort
  2. starch reduction to 10% of 2017 level
    • No rice for a month
    • no bread, noodles, biscuits for weeks
    • found alternatives — heated carrot, sweet potato, lentils, green peas ..
  3. intermittent fasting — only one meal on weekdays, and a few snacks
    • a few times no big meal after 10pm
  4. peanut reduction — to 5% of 2017 level
  5. no more whole milk ice cream or whole milk cheese
  6. raw veg — 20 times increase over 2017 level
  7. fruits — 3 times increase over 2017 level, and a wide variety

3 challenges to fundamental calorie theory

chia and other resistant starch .. can make me feel full for a while. Some lose the satiety effect soon 🙁 Some actually make me gain weight. So the calorie theory is inconssitent, confusing,,,

nuts .. very high cal density … too high to believe

juices, protein power, meal replacement power, or whole milk is supposed to provide lots of calories, but I don’t feel full at all.


  • #1 limitation — measurability=#1 limitation@calorie theory
  • #2 Challenge: fiber and resistant starch. RS’s real calories might be only half as labeled… resistant starch=subtype@fiber: half the calorie density
  • Challenge: whole nuts may pass out not fully consumed.. peanuts: calorie-dense, Extremely
  • Challenge: carrot and chia seeds are relatively calorie-dense (carbs) but I don’t feel they are 20% as heavy as the traditional starchy foods (like rice/cakes). These foods are proven effective for slimming, even if consumed daily in high quantity.
  • Challenge: nonfat milk has higher calorie density than many substitutes, but I believe it is a slimming food. See https://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/features/foods-to-help-you-lose-weight#1
  • https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/8-weight-loss-tips-to-ignore#section8 liss a few challenges to the theory

Beside these challenges, the fundamental theory of calorie balance is remarkably stable and well-accepted

  • One tablespoon of salad dressing or mayo … does it make a big difference? Calorie theory would say it’s 94 calories, equivalent to lots of vegies and fruits. I choose to accept this number.

%% diet strategies for weight loss #Davis.Wei

Just to share personal experiences. My focus is 1) appetite control and 2) calorie restriction. My focus is NOT the daily amount of fiber, fat, carbohydrate, protein, vegetables)

  1. Over 10 years, personally the most effective appetite-control strategy is delaying and skipping meals. “Not hungry? Don’t eat.” I did lots of read-up and am convinced it’s rather safe if consistent. For breakfast I often skip completely, or unflavored milk alone. For lunch I usually push to beyond 2pm (was 3pm). For dinner, I push to beyond 9pm (was 10pm). Once I settle on a meal schedule I stick to it for months. This delay/skip strategy definitely reduces my overall food intake, and helps reduce overall calorie intake.

However, in the morning and afternoon, I often follow vegetable/fruit diet (#3) so the adaptation is “Not hungry? don’t eat any starch or meat”

I know some friends practiced other forms of intermittent fasting, and lost tens of kilos.

I guess skipping dinner would be good, but my “system” bio-clock won’t let me as I feel seriously hungry sometime after 10pm, unless I fall asleep before the hunger kicks in. 200-calorie protein powder meal-replacement + small amount of solid protein/starch is a new idea worth trying.

  1. My 2nd effective strategy (targeting calorie) is starch reduction. Throughout my adult life I am fairly strict on the amount of fat and sugary foods so they have seldom given me a real problem (see loss-of-control below). But starch has been my primary calorie source (50%-70%) since age 5. In 2013 when I endeavored (like hell) to cut starch by half and further, my weight dropped by 4 to 5 kilos. I basically set a hard limit on rice and bread.

Compared to the #1 strategy above, my knowledge and experience about starch is more limited as I continue to read and experiment. Currently, I am experimenting with edamame, green peas and sweet potato. “Experimenting” means reduce as much as I can tolerate, and enjoy when I let myself. I read they are rich in fiber and lower in calorie-per-pound. Most important – they are satisfying (as starch) and tasty, so I can eat them regularly and don’t feel hungry afterwards. In this experiment, I aim to cut by 80% my intake of rice, brown rice, bread, whole-grain bread, and noodles.

  1. My 3rd strategy (targeting calorie not appetite) is yet to produce weight loss in my “system” (due to hunger) but is a nutritionally proven strategy for calorie reduction – increase fruits and green vegetables, usually raw. They are all high-fiber low-calorie. (Banana is slightly higher calorie. See my listing in ## low-cal foods.) So in the last 3 months I eat a lot of them, hoping the total calorie contribution is still low (like below 500 calories).

However, despite the high fiber I found these foods unsatisfying, perhaps due to low calorie. So I still felt hungry after eating a ton of them. I end up eating other foods to satisfy the hunger. I don’t consider it a failed attempt though. One reason is starch reduction — this 3rd strategy has reduced my overall starch intake (including edamame, sweet potato etc). In terms of overall calorie, I hope this 3rd strategy is taking effect. By eating tons of vegetables and fruits, I probably eat less starch less cooked food (usually oily), less junk food than before.

Beyond my top 3 strategies, I follow a few minor techniques:

  • Meat and fish – I reduce them in favor of (raw if possible) vegetables, fruits and nuts. They provide protein but often comes with lots of fat, mostly hidden.  Fish is healthier than meat, but harder to prepare. Additionally, meat and fish always require other foods as company.  (In contrast, my favorite starchy foods, vegie and fruits can be eaten alone.) I was 90% vegetarian for a short few years before getting married, and felt very healthy and in-control of my diet; now I’m more relaxed about meat and fish but strict about fats in them.
  • Fats and sugar – are always relatively low in my diet. Average once a week I eat deserts like chocolates and ice cream, and those offered by colleagues (invariably high fat high sugarJ). I love cheese and pizza but tell myself to stay away from them. I don’t drink sweet beverages except occasional milo and Green Machine. I virtually never eat deep fried food or alcohol.
  • Peanuts and other nuts – are very satisfying and tasty, but high fat. So I often use nuts to make my raw vegetables more palatable and satisfy my hunger. I probably eat twice more peanuts than most people so I need to watch my portion size. For a year I have stayed away from any coating over my nuts whatsoever. Once I break this self-control, it will be hard to rein in again.
  • Milk, soymilk, yogurt – is trivial in my diet. I eat them daily. Mostly low-fat low calorie varieties. Not satisfying. Sometimes they help make my raw vegetables more palatable.
  • Fiber – is supposed to help me feel full but has Never helped me with appetite. After eating a ton of fruits, vegetables, and chia seeds, I still feel a unsatisfied craving for “proper food”. I guess it’s due to calorie.
  • Simultaneously unhealthy and fattening foods – by the conventional standard about 3% (no more than 5%) of my entire dietary intake is considered fattening and also nutritionally poor, including ice cream, chocolate, cookies, desserts, free food in the office… On this count, I feel my quality of food is much better than average.
  • Temptation – If I get exposed to pizza, pastry, fancy cookies, fries…  (high-fat is my weakness) I find myself at a weak position in the face of temptation. I know I don’t want to fight this battle, so it’s extremely important to stay away from the temptation.
    • Loss of control – occurs when there’s free food offered in the office.
    • Controlled Indulgence – is the better alternative to loss of control. For example, once a while I indulge on ice cream and chocolates I buy for myself. This is my controlled, deliberate concession to temptation. I’m not aiming to emulate 苦行僧; I don’t want to feel like a loser; I don’t want to feel guilty. Life is too hard already 😉

Many friends asked me why I want to be lighter. One of my motivations – lighter means better endurance and fitness.

##envy Them constantly; !!celebrat`family,achievements..

k_tectonic    k_mellow

Rewind to age 33 or earlier.

Q: Would I rather have a lovely wife or have a better career and bright kids but 随便找个凑或看着还过得去的女人?
A: When I looked into my real priorities, the answer is always unambiguous — I didn’t need such an outstanding career, or such bright kids, or big houses. If I don’t find a Suitable woman, I’d rather stay single indefinitely, and basically let go of those other priorities.

Over the last few years, I find myself falling into the same trap of inferiority (+ self-pity + self-contempt). Most of the time, the same few individuals capture my attention — the ex-classmates and now big managers in China….

But why I don’t celebrate

  • (unsorted but I want to highlight the unsung heroes)
  • my beautiful yet thrifty, hardworking wife
  • my healthy and capable parents, with their retirement benefits
  • my father with his wisdom, achievements, reputation
  • my smart sister
  • my lovely kids
  • retirement — my Singapore option. “They” are stuck with the Social Security
  • retirement — my well-thought-out plan including multiple properties
  • my part ownership of the Beijing property, something few of my peers have.
  • my level of Wealth by Fuller’s definition
  • my life-long learning attitude, habit, and capacity
  • my chosen country — U.S. age-friendly job market lets me work till 70
  • my profession — lets me work till 70 at high income…. See financial IT profession: !! so bad #longevity
  • my profession — software engineering and finance are both lucrative, strategic, and suitable for me (arguably better than pre-sales). It’s actually not easy to get into these domains.
  • my sub-domain — java and c++ are both deep, well-paid, long-living and hard to master
  • my widely in-demand skill set and excellent market depth in my chosen domain.  Do “THEY” have the same?

This blog post is primarily about celebration. On a second level, I’d like to focus on My 9 biggest achievements (not a rigorous list)

  1. found a woman of my dreams and had 2 beautiful kids, based on luck but also my personal qualities
  2. achieved Singapore citizenship, largely based on our education and professional job. We worked hard for it and made big sacrifices. Singapore citizenship means
    1. housing,
    2. affordable health care,
    3. relatively age-friendly job market,
    4. low-cost retirement destination
    5. decent education system
    6. reliable and low cost services beyond the “civic”
    7. safe, clean, supportive neighborhood,
  3. competed successfully to break into and remain in the finance IT domain
    1. portable skills that give me well-paying jobs in many countries and many companies. IV muscle building
    2. my depth in java language is rarely surpassed, not only in java concurrency
    3. my data structure understanding and skills are my 2nd stronghold
    4. I solved many hard algo problems on my own.
    5. received fourteen c++ job offers + more java offers
    6. moved successfully from back-office to front-office
  4. saved for years to fully pay off a nice Singapore home + several investment properties
  5. education credentials — higher than most people. No mean achievement. I worked hard in my 40’s to get it.
  6. no belly, BMI and chin-up .. at this age
  7. personal finance
    1. burn rate control over 20Y my entire adult life. It gave me extraordinary flexibility and deep confidence
    2. personal investments — fairly successful track record
  8. Plenty of life chances throughout my student and working career, thanks to English, nationality, IV skills, trec..

## recent personal efforts -} tangible payoff

k_soul_search

These positive experiences are the precious positive feedback loops I seldom see in people’s lives, supposed to reinforce positive behavior change but in reality not so motivating. (Reality in human nature is far from ideal.) Very likely the positive behavior will stop, replaced with shopping, leisure surfing, movies, gaming, binge, or loafing.

  • — Strictly-visible progress —
  • coding drill and c++ QQ muscle building -> more tech wins .. MS and SCB offers
  • muscle building -> higher income at MS
  • burn rate is kept rather low
  • weight loss and pull-up
  • massive, huge perseverance -> a few yoga poses improving slightly
  • improvement in lifelong eating habit — raw veg diet
  • improvement in lifelong eating habit — skip and delay meals, a form of intermittent fast
  • improvement in lifelong eating habit — starch dependency reduction
  • improvement in lifelong eating habit — no food after 10pm except fruits and raw veg.
  • improvement in lifelong eating habit — sleep before the dreaded appetite kicks in, a form of intermittent fast

non-cottage cheese: minimize over long term like butter

  • —- action points
  • If you can live without cheese — then stay reassured that cheese is not necessary in any diet. Even cottage cheese has a lot of salt and calories.
  • If you miss cheese — go for low-fat cottage cheese. Regular cottage cheese is slightly heavier. All other cheese has high fat and calorie.
  • avoid deep fried cheese — actually… popular !
  • Western salads — often features cut fruits, raw veg + cheese dices, but (for me) not to be taken as a frequent snack like my peanuts, biscuits or chocolates. Per ounce calorie is higher in nuts than cheese, but the fats in nuts are healthier.
  • — usage of low-fat cottage cheese, only if you miss cheese
  • scrambled eggs
  • add to carrot or leafy veg in microwave heating
  • salad bowl with veg and fruits

“Cheese is also a good choice for a low carbohydrate diet.” #SFGate. I find cheese effective at fighting hunger 🙂

“Eating low-fat cheese, yogurt, and milk may actually contribute to weight loss … Dairy foods are also rich in protein, which helps keep you feeling full.” #webMD but this is probably “weight loss” for the overweight, not for me.

There are countless articles about cheese weight-loss since cheese is extremely popular in western culture. https://spoonuniversity.com/lifestyle/a-ranking-of-your-favorite-cheeses-by-calorie-count ranks non-cottage cheese flavors by calorie, but I now know cottage cheese is much lower fat and lower calorie than feta cheese

  • At 630 cal/100g 东北小花生 is 9 times heavier than cottage cheese, pound for pound

  • 20 cal/oz or 70+ cal/100g, nonfat cottage cheese, about a fifth of the “regular” cheese.

    • 1st cottage I bought in my life (TraderJoe) is 80 cal/113g nonfat. Only $2/pint
    • Water weight is Part of the reason for low calorie per pound
  • Even Cottage cheese containing fat is still lighter than nonfat American, nonfat Swiss and nonfat Cheddar 🙂

    • 2nd cottage I bought (TraderJoe) is 120 cal/113g.
    • more tasty? Yes Marginally
  • 23 cal/oz or 80 cal/100g nonfat ricotta cheese
  • 50 cal/oz ricotta cheese whole milk
  • 74 cal/oz feta cheese is the lightest
  • 84 cal/oz mozzarella cheese
  • 94 cal/oz [p] Brie cheese
  • 100 cal/oz cream cheese
  • 105 cal/oz [p] American and [p] Swiss
  • 113 cal/oz [p] cheddar is one of the heaviest
  • [p=usually processed cheese. Processed cheese has more fat, more salt, more calories..]

Note I don’t round off the calorie numbers in this case, for comparison. In all other cases, calorie precision to the last digit is useless and misleading.

— cultural bias .. The western food culture depends on cheese so much that the mainstream media is unable to portray cheese as fattening.

Similarly, kimchi is such a fundamental part of Korean culture that the mainstream media is unable to be critical.

## algo problems over 2nd-3rd Dec weekend

  • — 3rd weekend
  • max all-black submatrix — revisited
  • abbr generator, longest first — reviewed and tested
  • max path sum through bin tree — completed
  • a few tough hours reviewing and improving my python+cpp implementation of Kadane algo on array@int
  • common ancestor of 2 nodes in a bin tree with cycle — completed
  • rangeAND — completed
  • — 2nd weekend
  • combo with redraw – reviewed and tested
  • single-button phone pad problem — implemented 2 solutions
  • Leetcode phone pad problem: largely solved
  • cycle in binary tree — revisited but not solved
  • rangeAND — reviewed

yoga turns out 2 b%%most heroic self-mastery

To achieve more progress in my yoga practice, more membership is not the key (need to rely on self-practice). I need to feel that the importance deserves more time more /sunshine/.
* Analogy — when I realized the importance of frequent workout, I decided to reduce the difficulty and hit 5/wk
* Analogy — when I realized the importance of coding drill, I spent months doing hundreds of coding questions

I could never have envisioned yoga to take such a place in my life, and shape my self-image.

  • It’s heroic because I don’t really see much progress. Very limited positive feedback. 知其不可而为
  • It’s heroic because of the spirit of 愚公移山
  • It’s heroic because it’s an obvious weakness and shortcoming, since middle school. Through my life, I seldom take on my obvious weakness domain
    • Chinese composition
    • leadership
    • chin-up
  • It’s heroic because I experience repeated setback whenever I try to establish some self-practice in my spare time. All other things I set my mind to, I have had more success than in yoga, even though all started from a weak position, on an uphill BATTLE  —
    • driving practice; hand-writing; Chinese compo; weight loss; raw-veg diet; cutting starch; calorie restriction; early rise; quant self-study; coding drill; ..
  • See my email to Ashish [[include a bit stretch in your routine]] sent 31 Oct 2016 .. torture
  • See yoga centers: no other choice given home practice is way too hard, utterly unsustainable

Absorbency — is highly relevant but not a central feature here, since yoga is less about cognitive saturation