Category: selfMgmtGtmp

discipline, habits,
self-appraisals
priorities

basketball: %%years@practices→mediocre player

Posted on by tiger40490

In my high school, there were a few focused self-practices that failed to create a visible lead over my peers

  • English
  • fwd bend
  • basketball? I improved my drible and shooting significantly but not enough for a competitive game.
  • leadership
  • humor, esp. with girls

How did I react?

How can my son learn from it?

Despite the “no growing lead”, I would say I have reaped dividend for years iFF I let go of the fixation on “lead” and look beyond the competitive scene. I was able to enjoy basketball much more, and take part in many non-competitive games. My fwd bend is a good part of my tight Y-junfction.

unlimited desire: human nature

Posted on by tiger40490

k_def_of_success

#1 theme of the blogpost: Buddha observed that human desires are satisfied only temporarily.

I don’t desire eternal youth. I do want healthy longevity. Limitless desire? Yes if scentifically achievable. About the only unlimited desire in me is healthy longevity. SuccessZ and successE, but not really a successC !

I don’t have endless lust or craving for novelty in sex life.

Financially, since 2018 I have felt satisfied with my current cashflow high ground. I do long for even more assurance of family livelihood, in terms of career longevity, inflation protection, healthcare assurance … The “assurance” appeals to my successE desires more than successC desires.

I am more and more aware that “financial livelihood” (including healthcare resources) is easier to control than personal health. So my current level of livelihood protections are adequate and I do not need to long for ever higher assurance.

— Q: So what imaginary role model do I envy most?
Not a big manager with his work/life balance and stress level. I guess cash flow higher ground is enviable, but I’m not that bad.

How about the founder of Xinmin School?

##time-honored but challeng`guidelines #wide-rang`#w1r2

Posted on by tiger40490

Important life lessons taught by our mothers, a random list:

  • study well before the exams. Avoid cram.
  • — personal finance
  • After a windfall, /squirrel it away/ rather than spending a bit chunk of it (or all of it)
  • periodic expense recon
  • — wellness
  • floss every day, brush (hopefully twice) every day
  • early rise (weekends too), to avoid morning noise
  • aim at 5 workouts a week
  • some yoga practice every day. I would aim at 1 min
  • [d] eat at consistent timing
  • [v = too vague to be “hard to implement”]
  • [d = discredited. Not really necessary ]
  • — less noteworthy items
  • don’t eat if not hungry
  • take the stairs rather than escalator
  • distinguish needs vs wants i.e. lifestyle creep
  • pay off your entire credit card balance every month, and avoid incurring interests

— encourage compare-out with ordinary folks beyond your local community, and feel grateful. Control the compare-up with high flyers. See the blogpost in recrec

This guideline proved challenging but I am gradually putting it into practice. Look at my blog posts in 2019-2021.

— spend more time with kids now, until they grow up and prefer their friends.. but I find it fruitless

(self)respect !! tied to benchmark

Posted on by tiger40490

Nothing much new, but a useful revision.

I told a Cigna counsellor, what’s really important to my job satisfaction is respect, but the elephant in the room … is benchmarking.

GS is the most direct experience. Respect from manager, peers, users and even self-respect is mostly based on benchmarking within your own team, and within the bigger department.
My ErrorMemos user in Texas gave me exceed, perhaps based on his past experience with other developers. Yet my manager found me nothing spectacular.

Users and External peers and users may not know what the other team members are able to achieve *if put in my shoes* so no benchmark per se. Yet these evaluators have an expectation and based on it, a level of respect to you

— Among performing artists (and visual, literal artists), some artists are loved by their audience, but Question: what about the ranking?
My answer: the ranking doesn’t matter to their audience. If I’m an audience of a particular writer, composer, singer … then I see unique value in her, regardless of the ranking chart.

— students in general
My kids don’t need to be outstanding to learn useful things and have a meaningful experience in school
Excellence is measured on personal growth. This is within the student’s circle of control.

— researchers like my dad

— my piano practice and yoga .. is a different form of “self-respect”. I exceed my limitations and my inertia and I derive various benefits, all without benchmarking.

##star-rating: power-surges

Posted on by tiger40490

See also 5D/week target

Here I use up to ★☆ 5 solid stars and a hollow (.5) ☆ star to rate each power surge.  Surge duration is usually 1H – 1D

  1. ★★★★ yoga self-practice
  2. ★★★☆ chin-up (much tougher than jogging)
  3. ★★★ jump-rope, burpee and other boring  home cardio
  4. ★★★ lunge, squat, push-up
  5. ★★☆ stairs,
  6. ★★ (anchor item for current star-rating level) jogging
  7. ★★★ localSys.. half-day power surge is realistic.
  8. ★★ QQ or domain nlg
  9. ★ coding drill including review. 1H power surge is realistic.

some Americans must Want to be successful

Posted on by tiger40490

Q: does everyone in your immediate family want to be successful?
A….

During the 2020 presidential campaign, Jared Kushner commented on African Americans. I don’t think he defined “success”. Here I list a few defining elements , half ranked by note-worthiness

  1. various life chances
  2. [e] safe clean housing
  3. [e] education.. as a pathway to realize individual potentials
  4. — the broad, familiar elements
  5. health .. drugs
  6. financial .. employment, debt, househoold income

[e= See also my blogpost real essentials4livelihood ]

— self-management and ownership .. “want” is a motivation. For the motivation to bear fruits, it has to be persistent, adaptive, resilient.

I feel a lot of Americans (and Asians too) are poor with self-management. It’s most visible in spending, diet, addictions,… They don’t seem to take ownership of their own lives.

I need to stress this point with my kids.

The most important teacher for a young kid is probably the parents. The parents have the best chance to influence the motivation, the self-management habits.

[22] early rise: j4,obstacles,tactics..

Posted on by tiger40490

early rise is highly beneficial but can be overrated. Need to document the costs (Similarly, regular workout has costs to be documented)

power surge .. if I feel the power surge at night, then I feel I should work through the night and through the power surge.

camp-out is a proven big-gun but contradicts early-rise

  • — now the justifications for early rise:
  • #1 j4: early rise reduces late night heavy meal. See also diet regime milestone: 10pm
  • j4: avoid the real risk (2% of the late-rise days) of noisy construction
  • j4: avoid the real risk where (once a year) I stay up till 7am.
  • j4: Having 30 short minutes before going out to work proves to be … unproductive. Early rise means I can choose to have a nice block of morning quiet time or leave early
    • On some early rise days, I would allow myself to hold out for a 8.25 train, so as to have a productive chunk of morning hours at home.
  • j4: avoid peak commute without seat. Increase productivity on commute — the holy grail.
  • j4: productive quiet time early in the office.. see ##[21]cop`strategies: 困扰 #R.Teo
  • j4: I would feel more justified to leave office early, for yoga, for shopping etc.
  • — reward yourself for early rise and don’t waste it
  • Indulge in some ice-cream, or milkshake, or fish + rice, possibly in the office
  • blogging can be rewarding
  • stay at home longer if in the mood, and go to office 9.30
  • — how to sleep early
  • avoid afternoon nap. Go out; watch TV
  • Allow yourself to sleep longer, like 11 – 7. I don’t need reminding.. I always know it’s better to sleep slightly shorter than 8H.
  • skip yoga on days you feel sleepy at the right time like 6pm to 7pm! Remember there are multiple yoga sessions you can attend.
  • postpone blogging to next morning, or next commute, or office
  • — the struggle to get up early
  • tactic: go to toilet and try to stay awake
  • tactic: call family
  • tactic: shower, dental
  • tactic: dessert
  • — to catch early train after early rise
  • morning exercise? Never worked for me on weekdays. Not relaxing at all
  • Dental care? can be done in office
  • blogging? Consider blogging on smemo, so I can continue blogging on train.
  • gmail? we can get to office early and do it there.
  • wechat?

 

## keywords related to FOMO

Posted on by tiger40490

The influence of FOMO is pervasive i.e. deep and wide , in my mentality and in our society, culture and /collective psyche/. It takes many shapes and forms which required different descriptive words and metaphors.

I am a person of written words, abstract words, precise words. I need these words to reason, analyze, clarify, solve problems, discover and understand myself.

— FOMO/FOLB is a good pair. Compact form, good for blog titles
— kiasu  — rich meaning in Singapore. Same scope as FOMO.
— inferiority complex — rich meaning
— exclub — short acronym with fairly rich meaning.
This word has no online literature as FOMO/kiasu have. I have a /free hand/ to define its usage scope
— vainity — (虚荣) an actual English word !
— 虚空 — rich Buddhist meaning, different emphasis from FOMO.

low-energy@work projects: Accept it

Posted on by tiger40490

I now feel low-energy (low-absorbency is a second descriptor) on work projects. However, at the same time I often feel high-absorbency on workout (or diet), QQ (or coding drill), parenting,,,

Aha… These other absorbency domains are arguably more strategic, so the situation as described is actually better than the “average” situation which features an absence of absorbency on any front whatsoever!

Is it possible to have high-absorbency on all fronts? Unlikely. Therefore, recognize your priorities, embrace the imperfect self, and celebrate the improved-imperfection.

Everyday is imperfect anyway.