The Changi beach cycling experience is one of the enjoyable
experiences for both boy and daddy (not sure about others). Key part of the joy is the effort we all put in. The effort makes us feel stronger, increases our stamina, strengthens our resilience.
Nothing worthwhile is ever done without effort. Any effort by boy is good training for the long struggle ahead in his life, as each child needs to get used to putting in serious, consistent effort. Such effort is one meaning of “building character” in a kid. I hope there are other enjoyable family activities to build character and increase skill or knowledge but at a reasonable cost in terms of … time.
(Any activity to help with his fine motor skill? paper folding?)
– blogging with daddy? real experience, actual content, a bit of effort. No need to go out somewhere, so time-saving.
– hard-pen calligraphy (like Congcong’s)? helps fine motor
– drawing? Mom can be a teacher
– lego? So far our boy is not serious about this. All the creative elements are absent.
(The plastic block toy I bought for him is similar — no effort made by boy)
– basketball with daddy — I can do a bit of running when he takes a break.
– Story cube with daddy – might help creative writing but not now?
– Speech and drama? I don’t see any real learning. Perhaps he is not ready.
– Wushu or Taekwondo? not sure if he would learn anything beyond the superficial. Unlike Congcong, i feel our boy is not serious and not willing to put in real effort.
– Pingpong? something boy has tried 4 times. He already showed a drop in his interest, as he shows in every endeavor. Yet he is still open to it. I feel the real experience will be the family experience, not the Community club.
– badminton? no teacher at home. He is likely to give up
Look at the endeavors he has given up (most kids are like him):
– drawing
– jump-rope
– lego
– remote control cars
– phonics
– story cube
– football
– basketball
– pingpong
All the recreations that keep him interested forever require no effort:
* TV
* mobile phone
* toy train
* taking MRT
* hotel
So far, there are very few hobbies Dabao has put in consistent effort:
+ piano
+ Swimming? Lorong Chuan is much better than Toa Payoh, because with the teacher’s discipline boy puts in serious effort. In contrast, at Toa Payoh without teacher, he only plays, and doesn’t make any effort.
The work is always repetitive, monotonous and boring. He had to stick to it with determination until he could enjoy it a little bit. This joy and intrinsic satisfaction is fundamentally different from the immediate gratification of television, which leaves you empty rather than fulfilling.
These hobbies aren’t easy. They involve skill. They ask a lot from the kid and the parent, not in terms of $$$ but commitment, consistent effort, and time. At a younger age (like 4) we could pick just any hobby and let boy give it a try. At age 7, we need to make careful selections and stick to just a few hobbies (like selecting a university to apply in China), until he acquires the basic skills. He would get a proper appreciation of the hobby and decide if he enjoys it.
The old way of trying many hobbies is, ultimately, unfruitful. The child would not go beyond the first stage of learning basic skills, so the initial interest and fun cannot last more than 3 sessions. It costs real money and, more importantly, parents’ time. Today’s parents simply don’t have the time to spend aimlessly.
If we had not stuck to swimming and piano with such consistent effort, Dabao would still be trying out various new hobbies and giving up at the first serious juncture and learning nothing, with no skill at all.
A happy childhood could have some serious, consistent effort. The effort doesn’t destroy the happy childhood. The effort would give real meanings to it.
—-other criteria of a hobby of endeavor
* time cost — consider taking taxi to save time
* benefits for parent — very rare. Most of the activities don’t help the parent directly. The few exceptions — swimming, basket ball. If there’s no benefit for the parent, then it’s very hard for parent to put in consistent effort. If the kid loses interest as usual, then it’s not going to last.