Category: diet0

[20]serenity^zqbx: passive acceptance@bad situation

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_tectonic  k_mellow  k_def_of_success

See also

Executive summary of a paradox

  • Serenity .. a positive attribute (valuable and rare). True serenity in the face of adversity requires strength and is often (not always) supported by zqbx. As such, serenity is part of successE and successZ.
  • Passive acceptance .. a negative attribute.. often resembles serenity-without-zqbx.

In this blogpost, my (initial) focus is the widespread passive acceptance of … highly unsatisfactory, barely tolerable or dire situations. Surrender, give-up, 破罐子破摔 are some of the synonyms. These individuals accept the unacceptable (or nearly-unacceptable) and make do with what they have, without zqbx, or trying harder to improve the situation. The most visible example is the homeless beggar, and those sleeping rough in New York city.

On the other extreme, as illustrated through numerous examples in long-term ROTI=rare #600@高考 #Serenity, we should NOT beat ourselves up with unreasonable standards and self-hate. Self-acceptance is paramount. Some call it serenity. Mellow up if you can, and don’t beat yourself up if you can’t achieve it in a reasonable amount of time 🙂

So we sometimes need to strike a balance between ZZ) zqbx, not giving up even in a dire situation vs SS) serenity or self-acceptance of personal limitations. Here, fine judgement is a /rare virtue/. We pick our battles on the really important things. We also pick our battles where we fight to slow down or stop things getting worse. We need the “wisdom to know the difference” between (ZZ) and (SS).

In real life, some wise people might adopt passive acceptance (passive = without zqbx) and display serenity. We are digging into two unrelated phrases with subtle connotations and invisible overlaps. If you don’t want to avoid these two phrases, then you would need to accept and deal with the /messiness/.

In all the challenges listed below, whenever I choose ZZ, my personal-effectiveness shines through (interpersonal effectiveness seems to be less valuable). Over time, the difference between the proactive and the passive can become insurmountable. I’m far from the perfect role model, but my efforts were huge. My endurance was remarkable in the face of repeated setbacks. Thomas Edison said of his light bulb “I haven’t failed — I’ve just found 10,000 that won’t work.”

— eg: EDyw .. Non-penetrative or fortnightly/monthly felt like poor choices, like those highly unsatisfactory, barely tolerable choices. How about the current weekly frequency?

I am adopting the zqbx attitude, esp. in exercise and active calendar management.

— eg: summer sleeping mats .. many disappointments with ice crystal cushions, bamboo, straw, synthetic rattan mats, and even plastic-straw mats,,, so my expectation (of their value) was reduced over and over again, so I wasn’t keen to re-consider them. However, some (not all) the cooling mats can alleviate a common but bad situation — growing dependency on A/C. Does it make a real difference? I think it can reduce the number of days I turn on A/C, by 5%…ctbz.

— eg: wordpress.com block editor… The company made it look like new editor is so entrenched as to wipe out any hope of using the classic editor. I was passive in my acceptance of this fate. Then I became proactive.

Harmony? I chose SS after trying for a long time. Serenity would be needed iFF no choice.

— defining eg: Singapore government didn’t accept congested city centers, runaway housing cost, tap water quality, seasonal flooding, declining standard of Chinese, limited local talent pool, over-reliance on MYS water supply, (During covid19) ICU shortfall, overwhelming workload of contact tracers, hopeless prospect of containment, growing threat to nursing homes … which many governments gave up on and accepted. SG leaders took actions , often over decades, to reduce each of these problems. Serenity? Irrelevant.

— eg: math practice — many math students accept that some problems are too hard, so they give up. In contrast, XA.S’s attitude is like zqbx. Also many girls (and some boys too) in my primary and secondary schools put in more practice and improve their pattern recognition. I’m somewhat more skilled than most students, so I didn’t need so much practice, but there are some topics that required me to practice a lot.

Jolt: I also accept that some topics and some problems (like competition level) are too hard for me , but only after I put in a lot of effort.

UChicago MSFM .. at age 42 my attitude was roughly the same. I sank in 30-40 hours a week, and then accept that some homework and past exam problems are too deep too hard and my understanding remained shallow and unconnected, esp. on FixedIncome. Did I give up? Not sure. I think I basically chose a time limit. Any additional effort would have taken up too much time and produced diminishing return.

Serenity needed…

— eg: Coding drill is similar. However, virtually all the web2.0 style coding questions can be solved in 45 minutes, not as hard as the toughest quant problems.

The situation is very bad for some older programmers as they couldn’t pass any speed coding test, or pure-algo test, or weekend assignment.

Harmony? They can choose either zqbx or serenity. Serenity smells like passive acceptance. I choose SS i.e. Serenity but not giving up completely.
— screen time .. I now perceive it as tolerable. XA.S (math!) seems to accept it
Harmony? I choose SS i.e. Serenity, but not giving up completely.

==== household living
— existing A/C trunking .. I think most people would (passively) accept, due to high cost.
I think we have to accept the total cost of ownership of indoor cooling.
— staying on low floor .. For years, wife accepted the unsatisfactory living conditions including smell (smoke), dim lighting, downstairs noise, pests.
— silver-colored personal chopsticks .. I prefer uniquely-colored chopsticks for unshared usage, but the silver-color drying rack makes my chopsticks hard to find. For years, I didn’t think of improving it. Now I use a unique dark color .. elegant solution.
— on many short pants

  • side pockets too wide-open for cellphone .. for more than a year I had to keep my phone in (more secure, less reachable) pouch or backpack
  • no hook for access cards.. For years, I accepted it, and had to clip my access cards on insecure belts.

==== career
— eg: SY.C said a friend in his 50s got a SWE job offer from Citadel .. Harmony? I choose SS more than ZZ.
— eg: Sunil was unsatisfied with 1) his AVP and the 2) underwhelming prospect of dotnet. Most people in his shoes would accept it, but Sunil took actions over many years and eventually broke through.

Similar eg: my java-}c++ transition, and web2.0 CIV — 99% of us find it hard to cross the moat. Most accept the result and give up. No shame. I didn’t give up on c++. I gave up on HFT interviews. Web2.0 CIV is within reach but am not in a hurry.

Sunil’s and my situations were sub-optimal but not really an example of hardship and passive acceptance thereof.

Harmony? a balance between zqbx and serenity.
— career longevity .. After talking to Miles Yang and XA.S, I felt most of my peers don’t have my dev-till-70 in the WStC harbor
Harmony? I choose ZZ, but I think my peers’ acceptance is not passive.
— job insecurity at a particular place — In today’s economy, most adults experience job insecurity at some points in their adult life. It’s more clearly felt for techies. Most of us accept the anxiety, the fear, the tangible potential impact on our families, and accept it as the norm. “This is the world we are in”. The individuals in ## Not alone2hit job loss were less worried than I was.

I worked very hard for decades, devising and strengthening my dev-till-70 plan for WallSt. Today, I feel more prepared, more confident than that majority I described.

I also learnt my lessons from my false starts, which tend to kill our long-timer plan. I think these disappointments define me and my peers. Some (who?) are even more resilient than me.

Harmony? I choose ZZ because I can.
— long commute .. most of my peers (NYC commuters) accept long commute with serenity
Harmony? I choose SS after deciding on the commute total cost.
— bench time — Probably half the adults in the developed countries I know are pessimistic about bench time after job loss. Jack Z is one example. For techies, median bench time is probably 2M+. One-month is considered rather quick. The higher your salary, the longer you need to sit on bench. These individuals (my sis?) accept it with serenity. In contrast, I choose ZZ. I work very hard to build up my cushions including

  • embrace 70% pay cut just to go out and work
  • constant interviewing even when not job hunting

==== wellness
— intimacy ..for years I accepted (passively) the underfucked life, and frequent derailers to my intimacy. I have multiple emails, blogposts such as Xmas2021
— BMI — Rahul was very determined and in-control, but he might be somewhat overweight. Many of my colleagues are overweight. I tend to assume they have poor control over diet or exercise, but I could be very wrong. I think they accept it. Most people don’t i understand why I work so hard towards deeper-green zone. However, I did accept my weight may not go down to 61 kg again. This acceptance is sub-optimal but not unacceptable.

Some slim individuals are not really better at self-control. I guess some of them are just lucky. I have many colleagues who said they are unable to put grow “stronger”.

This “control” is central to successZ, but if our body “system” is hard to control, then I think we need serenity.

Harmony? I choose non-passive acceptance, and mellow-up. Not really serenity. In fact, I think non-acceptance and zqbx is better for some individuals in my cohort.
— supper — I accepted that I would feel hungry if 1) i’m awake at 11pm and 2) there’s food at home beside fruits and veg.
This acceptance is non-ideal but remember my breakfast skip, delayed lunch and dinner. Overall, this is not an unhealthy habit.

Crucially, instead of surrender I fight a bao3shan1 battle by controlling starch and following late-sleep diet tactics 

There is some harmony in this battle. I choose ZZ but not extreme. There’s some crucial element of SS.
— workout 3/week — Most adults have inadequate workout, partly due to lack of time. They accept it. They point at “lower” societies (earlier, primitve or less developed), and conclude that in our advanced society, lack of physical activity is normal. I take it more seriously than the majority but only since 2018.

As of early 2020, I now accept 2-4 times a week for myself. I would say 1/month is barely acceptable and 1/wk is decent.

As of Oct 2020, I now push myself towards 5 times a week. I choose ZZ because the barrier is not so high.
— G3 defining example: yoga —  Most male adults have insufficient flexibility, but they accept it and put it aside as lower priority compared to strength, body shape, or endurance. Yoga is hard for me, but I take it very seriously.
Harmony? I choose ZZ, because my goal is high but feels achievable.
— pull-up — Most guys can’t do 10. The overweight guys can’t do one. They accept it. Similar to yoga, Pull-up is always challenging for me, but I don’t give up. I live with that sense of challenge, self-imposed pressure.

If you are overweight, then self-hate is counterproductive.  But don’t give up. Assisted pull-up is the way to go. Here is a good illustration of the balance between passive acceptance and self-hate. Zqbx vs serenity. I choose ZZ, becasue I can.
— G5 best example: belly fat — As described in why I feel successful, most guys above 30 have a visible belly and most just accept it. In this case, I didn’t have an uphill battle, but if I don’t exercise control, I’m sure to grow a belly.
I choose ZZ.
— longevity goal .. most of my peers seem to target 85. It’s not an unacceptable target. But I don’t accept it. I choose ZZ.
==== pff .. my favorite and strongest domain, so I won’t talk too much about myself.
— savings for retirement — Most adults seem to worry that they have insufficient financial resources to support their desired retirement lifestyle. (I suspect many realize retirement burn rate is much lower, like $2k/retiree.) Anyway, most seem to accept it and take almost no action.

I should ask those endowment salesmen “How many percent of the respondents actually feel well-planned for retirement?”
— savings rate — Most adults (my sis included) accept a brbr below 3/2, i.e. they save less than 1/3 of income. They seem to accept “saving 50% is too hard and unnecessary for me”.
Low saving rate is not a dire situation until a pandemic. OCBC survey shows 70%Singaporeans can’t last past 6M if jobless, due to insufficient savings.
— mortgage — Most buyers accept as unavoidable — “Except the super-rich, who else can avoid a mortgage”. I think they can, provided they save up higher, and buy lower as I did.
Well, mortgage is non-ideal, but not a hardship.
Harmony? I choose ZZ i.e. non-passive acceptance. I don’t give up.
— ECR 8% per year — I don’t think it’s common, so I choose SS.

ctbz(寸土必争)[def]: micro-saving add up over5Y or involution #H2O

Posted on by tiger40490

k_ctbz  k_X_power_descriptor  k_soul_search

In popular usage, 寸土必争 has a wider meaning, but in my case, ctbz := Once I set a realistic and measurable target for my endeavor, I push myself to execute my plan with ruthless, clinical precision, often semi-consciously beating myself up whenever I deviate visibly.

寸土必争 is often a daily struggle, tough for everyone. Therefore it’s actually my competitive strength! Most adults or young people don’t monitor their burn rate, calorie-quota or regular exercise. The cumulative effect would eventually show up.

Among these scarce resources, usable time is the most scarce, available up to age 60 (only 55 for some).

This is a killer talent and a visible personal advantage. Among the specific talents, the most significant (used to be $$) is calorie-quota budgeting. It has long-term health benefits.

Among these endeavors, my success is most visible and decisive in $$, and least in time-saving.

This is one reason for my carefree life at this age when my peers endure stress. This (and other) freedom comes with responsibility.

— warning .. ctbz can be hazardous. With cherry, other eaters would discard half the flesh. However, due to ctbz, i try to eat all the meat off the core. This is actually dangerous. When I do this without full concentration, the stone can get stuck at the throat or go down.

— domain: water.. in mid 2022, I found joy in saving water. The small actions make me feel /righteous/?/ and earn me self-respect. It sharpens my perception on numerous water wasting scenarios that are often overlooked. The small savings add up to a modest amount, but the sharpened perception will help me score big wins.

— domain: diet
Polyclinic dietitian said .. without precision, calorie reduction will be futile.

calorie-quota is a similar concept to carbon-quota. Each country each year is given a quota. If you over use bit by bit, then someday you need to borrow from the future quota.
— domain: workout
flexibility (+ muscle) declines with aging and requires periodic stretching, perhaps a few seconds each day — ctbz
— domain: burn rate .. my burn_rate_control (ffree) is the front page success story.
Some people save for months then spend all the savings at year end.  Other people waste numerous small amounts of money on a monthly basis. Over decades they “throw down the drain” a painful portion (like 10-20%) of their income. elaborate planning of NY/SG trips is a case study.

See also ctbz on small spends

— domain: time micro-saving
My Focus on time utilization is a great example of my ctbz habit. Many people spend time (and $) in “fun” places that actually don’t create a lot of pleasure.

Large number of small time-wastage is similar to large number of small $-waste. Some of us feel the pain only years later when our peers make progress in their spare time (or their office hours).

— domain: divorce dispute (if it ever happens) .. Grandpa said that in the unlikely event, we need to fight to resist and never give in
— my ctbz attitude/habit is effective (in some but) not in all domains:
With early rise, I feel my 寸土必争 attitude may be unnecessary, possibly counterproductive.

Weekly coding drill don’t need 寸土必争. Momentum is more important.

 

##I told boy %%strength against addictive food++

Posted on by tiger40490

See also https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=16866&action=edit and https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=13129&action=edit

This blogpost had an initial focus on “addictive” and kids.

In 2019 I told my son that most people tell themselves they can’t live without starch, fried chicken, or any meat for that matter…. Now I realize I show a fairly remarkable internal strength over these addictive foods, similar to grandpa. Here are some notable examples:

  • French fries and round thin potato chips — are a real addictive food in my case.
  • sugary drinks — Raymond told me most kids are addicted. Prevalent in U.S. and Singapore lifestyle.
  • coffee — (almost always with sugar and creamer or condensed milk) is mildly addictive to many many people

On a separate note, many people can’t accept raw vegetable salad without salad dressing. Again, I have trained myself to overcome that dependency. Even though I have my limits on what raw vegetables I could swallow in non-trivial quantity, I am now more “flexible” than most raw veg salad eaters.

The body is weak because the temptation is often overpowering.

  • eg: home cooking temptation… I had numerous blogposts
  • eg: as an official, the temptation of corruption (Clinton) can reveal a career-killing weakness. Similarly, As a leader of a team, the temptation of favoritism towards certain individuals
  • eg: the big4 temptations of an American young adult — Sex, Drugs, Cars, Debt
  • eg: when I read CSY’s mail about radiologists, I react negatively (hopefully less than many people in my shoes), partly because other people’s envy is tempting

Broadly, temptations are arguably the #1 most prevalent, often most powerful, most destructive derailer (trouble-maker, show-stopper) in half the endeavors of an individual’s life. As powerful, as destructive as a F5 Twister in the movie.

Based on these and many other examples, it’s no exaggeration to say that temptations rule many lives and ruin many lives. Precisely because of that, /lackluster/dull/?/ interests, /weariness/?/, desensitized reaction .. is life enhancing. More than that, it is often a massive competitive advantage. Imagine, as a stock trader, if you are less affected by emotions [fear, greed…] and can operate more like a cold-blooded machine, you would have a huge advantage. You would get ahead pretty soon. This is a killer talent.

— Buddhism .. has a lot to say about these temptations, sufferings, detachments,
==== my desensitized zones:
— copying homework from classmates
— gambling
— addictive day trading
kinda similar to gambling addiction
— leveraged trading .. is seductive to many retail traders
— video entertainment on smartphone .. I can see 30% of the commuters are addicted.
I find it a very poor entertainment.
— arcade gaming .. in my teenage years in Beijing, I noticed that my cohort were more addicted. I used to spend an hour or so [1] in an gaming arcade and pop my RMB1 coins into the machines. I mostly [2] played the aircraft shooting-up game and never very good at it.

[1] my cohort were spending hours and hours
[2] my cohort were playing many more games, harder games.

— 耐得住寂寞 is related to temptations at a fundamental level. 耐得住寂寞 includes a wide range of endeavors. For some of them, if the practitioner is not tempted by the wrong things, then it’s easier to stick to the practice over a long stretch, and get ahead.

LocalSys self-learning is hard for me because of the temptations and distractions.

— sugary drinks or any drinks
My son has this addiction.
When I came to Singapore in my teenage years, I started to notice that diners always ordered some drinks for their meal.

— coffee .. is reported by many as a mild addiction. Coffee has many health effects. Fine coffee is quite an expensive lifestyle .
In my experience, I have found my life not even 0.001% diminished by my lackluster interest in coffee.

Sys2: attention, self-control, cognitive effort

Posted on by tiger40490

 

k_quietime

Chapters 2+3 of [[thinking fast and slow]] are about cognitive attention, self-control,,, I will try to use the precise wording of the author.

“..a well-established proposition — both self-control and cognitive effort are forms of mental work”, that require mental energy. The mental energy reserve is limited. Cognitively busy individuals tend to exhibit reduced self-control; After long periods of self-control, we tend to forget things, make mistakes in judgement or in our work.

“One of the significant discoveries of cognitive psychologists is that switching from one task to another is effortful…. The ability to control attention is not simply a measure of intelligence; measures of efficiency in the control of attention predict performance of air traffic controllers and of Israeli Air Force pilots beyond the effects of intelligence.”

— quietime .. [in office or morning quietime or late night] are “easier” in terms of attention control. In my quietime, I can control when to switch context, rather than dictated by external factors. My attention is easily controlled by myself.

— self control
eg: jogging and instructor-led classes require less System2 resources [mental energy] because no self-control needed. After a lot of mental work, I tend to prefer these /automatic/ workouts.
eg: when employees are engaged in cognitive work, they tend to sit down rather than using standing desk
eg: office stash and Bayonne stash … are easier because less self-control needed, even when I engage in demanding work.

eg: when I’m busy with study or work, I feel the need for comfort food, hopefully my stash has the healthy varieties like fruits, milk, fish,,,
jolt: Some people go for cigarette or alcohol. Note I’m not talking about stress per se, but mental work.

— speed coding is exhausting.. “The most effortful forms of (Sys2) slow thinking are those that require you to think fast.”
— slow pace in mvea and epa teams .. precious. I won’t trade these slow jobs for a lucrative but fast-paced job.
— “responding kindly to a family member’s bad behavior .. requires self-control”, which is effort. So this is harder to achieve if you are mentally tired, under stress, or your System2 is already engaged

##gain` traction+vision {years@envy P1

Posted on by tiger40490

k_bedBug_wisdom  k_tectonic

See also ##GordianKnot Cutters

Need a better title. Old title: “##gain` traction+vision {years@envy”, showing

  1. Gaining (temporary) vision after years of shooting in the dark
  2. Gaining (temporary) traction after years of spinning the wheel

This blogpost grew to become /unwieldy/, so I split it to a sister blogpost on wellness+finance

  • [c = even a SINGLE effective strategy / tactic would put me above the clueless majority]
  • [m = I or someone can teach a class like the master class run by the Value-Investing or e-commerce gurus ]
  • [r = reflective writing proved instrumental]
  • [e = I envied for years, until I figured out some secrets, and now becoming the envy of others ]
  • [t = reached a decisive turning point]
  • [h = hidden barrier]

—- [c] eg: boy’s math coaching… My vision secret? put aside benchmarks and try to increase his intrinsic motivation by 1%. Possibly insignificant (I don’t think so). Definitely better than nothing.
—- eg: secure foothold in the U.S. the land of opportunities. Gaining traction year after year. I am reaching my turning points steadily. Last one was my priority date becoming current.
—- eg: find a women good enough, who likes me. Turning point was 2005.
—- [] eg: underfucked for years
My traction secrets? intimacy calendar. See https://btv-open.dreamhosters.com/47636/21-jan-counselling/
—- [ct] eg: ROTI family outing — The tcost of outing was prohibitive. ROTI was always underwhelming if 5H+
My traction secrets? jogging
—- [cmr] eg: bedbugs — some consider them as untreatable. My vision secret? See bedbug heuristics:where, how many,spreading speed,weekly check
—- [ch] eg: use paper as /dashboard/ — more effective than technologies
hidden barrier of effectiveness: access .. paper is far more accessible in writing or display
—- [chm] eg: mosquito .. screen is economical, durable. Additional traction secret: avoid tear at the edges.
hidden barrier of effectiveness: inconvenience.. The suction lamp takes 10% of the effort of other solutions.
—- 1169 main door too heavy and need 3 magnets… My vision secret? friction pad underneath the door is cheaper, far easier to install (no drilling) and more effective
—- [h] door closer detachable middle rod ..
hidden barrier and vision is the tilting angle… when too sloped, it would rub hard on the top surface of the swinging door, and cause a growing problem.
—– [] hair drooping over forehead .. I always had to visit a barber. My vision secret? This part grows faster than all other parts, so I could cut it short by myself.

===== as student
—- [et] improve English vocab and aim to have enough to express myself in writing and carry a conversation
—- [et] improve English listening and aim to follow BBC radio
In terms of listening, this goal is harder because the other person can’t slow down and repeat for me.
—- [et] earliest defining example: Chinese compo — My “traction” secrets to start gaining traction?

  • Use as many nice phrases as possible to describe details;
  • Develop sufficient vocabulary to describe vague or complex sentiments
  • free-flow writing

Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.

===== career
—- [hmt] eg: java (and c++) IV stardom — Is this a defining eg of “traction”? Yes.
My traction secrets? I failed many interviews until I found out what valuable questions to focus on

C++ journey was more winding. My traction required more interviews and easier interviews.

HFT c++IV are still too hard.

hidden barrier: need to impress the interviewers in some tech domain
—- WallSt-pro status — achieved in 2010 after GS.
My traction secrets? not GS trec, not dnlg, but java IV skill !
—- [ce] tech career longevity — against churn. We all envy the doctors.
My vision secrets? I found a “way” to this goal, via WallSt contract market
—- [et] c++ IV, and c++/java combo — envied for years those who can pass C++ interviews. This battle is much harder and longer than the java battle. My traction secret? Here are some

  • bet on the topics. Go skin-deep [1] on a wide (wider than java?) range of paper-tiger topics, but go deeper on several core topics. See c++11,sockets,IPC in QnA IV #Ash.S
    • [1] earlier I overspent myself on too many secondary topics.
  • Use HFT c++ interviews as training only; count successes only at Type1 and Type3 c++ interviews. Focus on outscoring the competition at these easier contests.

 

stash in Bayonne^ff^1173 #unexpectedEnticing

Posted on by tiger40490

Q1: what differences explain the out-of-control late-night appetite in TPY home?
A( as I told the Cigna counselor): perhaps Unexpected foods.
A: Home cooked food? Not exactly the key difference. Admittedly, home-cooked food is always unexpected food. However, a lot of foods in TPY fridge are purchased foods [ice cream, cakes, cookies,,,], similar to Bayonne, but in Bayonne I was in control. In Bayonne, I exercised control end to end, throughout the week. The control starts at shopping ,where I would hand-pick the comfort foods and carefully decide how much to buy, where to store.

In Bayonne home or office, the stash of enticing foods is well-guarded, and used only when I choose to, often on a planned schedule, with a good reason, rather than giving in to out-of-control appetite. I tend to ration the amount of comfort foods in a controlled indulgence. I tend to pair up the high-calorie foods with a lot of raw veg, chia seeds, ice etc. These techniques are much harder to achieve in TPY home, primarily because the enticing foods show up unexpected.

Now I realize that the mere presence of unexpected, enticing foods in the fridge creates non-trivial wrong-X temptations. It’s easy to trivialize these temptations but my experience proves that they do grow overwhelming, devastating like a tornado [out of control].

In Bayonne and now in office, I have a firmer grip on my stash of comfort foods.  I control what comes into my stash. I pay this much attention precisely because I know from experience the power of the wrong-X temptations.

Q: Why is this factor relevant to the late-night appetite?
A: in that situation, the stash always presents a clear-n-present threat to my self-control. This challenge is no-big-deal in the morning, or in office, but serious at late-night.

— Given the 10 x higher hazard rate at home, is it better to eat more in office, perhaps to reduce the anticipation? Say your goal is under 1000 cal/day.
If you eat 800 cal in office, you may still far exceed 200 cal after reaching home.
If you eat 200 cal in office (like now), you may eat 1500 cal in the warrior meal at home.
if you eat 300 cal in office, you can aim at 1000 cal in the warrior meal… hopefully more sustainable.

— pleasure is legitimate.. If the struggle against my appetite is too hard, then I would accept the health impact.
— an out-of-control example in Bayonne !
In Mvea/MLP offices and Bayonne home, when I get lots of free foods, they are always high-calorie and unexpected. Hard to manage.

How about free catered lunch as in Goog/FB/SIG offices? I think there’s a 50/50 chance it would be a huge challenge for my diet control.

 

burnOrRot =successZ+C #

Posted on by tiger40490

k_tyrant_of_rmSelf  k_Promethean_struggle .. k_def_of_success

In a way, burn often focuses on quardrant-II [non-urgent-but-important], the tough jobs that deserve lots of sunshine….

When thinking in terms of burn/rot, there is always a harsh, imposing self2judge at the back of my mind. This self2judge maintains a destructive self-hate, and implicitly considers self1 too lazy and weak… No surprise, because by my superhuman standard every human shows visible weaknesses.

  • I beat myself up over coding drill
  • I beat up my son over his math practice
  • I beat myself up over fried potato chips

(I also demonized masturbation, egg yolk …. all based on unfounded health theories.)

I used to set an self-expectation of such high self-discipline that every human would Fall short, including grandpa, Wenqiang, .. but I thought my standard was normal and achievable if I simply Try Hard. Now I’m older and wiser. I know these standards are too hard for mere humans. We humans are not machines.  No one has such strong will as to force the body to do all the painful things. In real people, the strong motivation comes from within, from a desire, not from harsh self-discipline.

If the wellspring, the flame, the pulse inside a student is insufficient, then neither parent, teacher or herself can force it with willpower.

— successZ+successC => burn = materialisticRoti+selfDiscipline… I think this is a pretty good characterization of the vague concept of “burn”. Now I think my sense of ‘burn’ is always a mix of strenuous [1] self-discipline over the lazy self + [2] materialistic ROTI.

As a consequence, when I’m focused on successE [carefree ezlife, wellness, harmony…], I don’t feel the burn.

Note successZ is more than zqbx! Therefore, t_zqbx has a only a partial overlap with t_burnOrRot.

[1] Without the self-discipline, I don’t feel the burn.  Absorbency and zqbx are similar phrases
[2] I didn’t say “strategic”
— Bigger Eg: My diet is arguably the best eg — so tough, unenjoyable, b
ut I could put up with it because my level of suffering is lower than other people feels. If you ask me to cut further and further, I will experience too much “pain” in terms of self-deprivation.
— Bigger Eg: Yoga is another unimaginable achievement — a physical shortcoming, painful, hopeless, no visible progress, No hope of sustained improvement, therefore a /Promethean torment/

In lower-middle school, I beat myself up over stretching. One of The earliest and most painful experience of my life. Today, I still hate myself frequently because I couldn’t get myself to “practice yoga at home everyday”. Well, those (mostly women) who can are probably too weak for daily exercise, continuous learning, …See  girls with Grade-A flexibility

Now, against all odds, I did 2 sessions a week for 8 months in Bayonne.

Willpower is NOT the catalyst.
— Eg: How about early rise? In 1993 I once beat myself up for not getting up by 6am. For 25 years since, it was impossible to keep up early rise beyond 10 days. Now I have lasted about 2 months !

Self-discipline and brute force willpower has Never been the turning point in early rise.
— eg: jolt: self-care blogging under stress — requires effort to become effective, but I often think of it as indulgence. It has high ROTI (just not materialistic).

Self-care blogging often generates self-hate ! Unfair. I deserve more tender care and sympathy.
— eg: coding drill: I guess many of my friends don’t enjoy it as they feel high effort low chance of ROTI.

Contrast Ashish and Deepak who keep practicing. Even if chance of passing is rising slowly, thhe practice slows down the decline.
— eg: reading about Sec1 posting — feels thankless and no “burn”. Requires effort but there’s no materialistic ROTI !

Apr21EAP: appetite失控 #compassion #poison

Posted on by tiger40490

k_mellow

Problem description — You come home without hunger (like Bayonne), but when you see food you start to feel an appetite out of control.

Counsellor challenged me — Can you say to yourself right now “I won’t compare to the past. I will focus on the present and what’s within my control.” Well, I won’t give up and accept things like “my kids have disappeared, or my legs are now useless..” However, the environment changed hugely from 2019.

— out-of-control appetite.. I hope there’s a more powerful phrase like “appetite on rampage”, but “control” is a power phrase in my mind. See also wins+control ]Bayonne

Now I think the appetite on rampage is normal. How do you decide that’s not legitimate hunger? Your yardstick is elastic!

You find this new appetite so irrational (hunger is never rational), so random (it actually is), so out of control (human nature). But that’s probably the case with a lot of people, when they have not tasted that particular food for a long time.

— Compassion .. is a keyword from the 13 Apr 2021 Cigna counselor. See powerless guilt #self-hate for the opposite of compassion

I gave the counselor a graphic metaphor — patches of poison on the surface of an internal organ. This counselling session helped me open up, spot the poison, wash it off, while keeping, not rejecting, the organ. I felt cleansed. I know how ugly the organ looks, but it’s part of me and I embrace every part of me. I am OK as an fallible, weak human being. It’s OK to lose half the nightly battles. In unusual j4 S$7.50 salad, I recorded my chat with another Cigna counselor Bindi when I said “everyone is weak.”

Las Verrugas Anales | ASCRS