(a letter I didn’t send out)

Hi Daniel,

Fascinating tips you shared.

My kids are 8 and 3 only. I will make many of the decisions about their schools and home locations, but probably not their universities or their professions. I feel I need to have a “scope of work” for myself as father. I don’t want to take on unlimited amount of work.

Our divergent experiences shape our views and our decisions as parents. My parents are dutiful parents but didn’t have so much influence on my choice of university and profession. Based on that personal experience, I tend to think (wishfully, naively) “It’s up to them” — up to their interests and abilities, even though none of those were well-defined before 20. I believe both my sister and me were not very sure at 18/19 what professions were suitable….

Around age 18, most young adults have the basic capacity to make those informed decisions. I was not willing to take on the heavy responsibility of choosing a major or choosing a college, but subconsciously I knew I was the (unwilling) captain of my boat this time.