I may not be a great coach to my colleagues or my kids, but I am effective as a coach to myself:

[ q = This practice requires quietime and some infrastructure like git-blogging, smemo]

• invest time to build rich vocab for precise description of  adversities that are not only stressful, crushing but also confusing/tricky. The vocab brings clarity.
• [q] therapeutic blogging, expressive writing .. expressive-writing : resonates with me #Pennebaker
• [q] explicit, cognitive self-talk. I sometimes uses email to friends for the same purpose.
• positive twister SMS ..

— [q] sentence completion .. I like the sentence-completion exercise. Everyone I know experiences negative self-image once a while. I use this technique when the negative self-image generates too much negative SMS to make me feel lousy, or worried. For example, recently I heard of many classmates or ex-colleagues moving up to higher management.

Some may say this technique is naïve and rather American style therefore not necessarily effective in other cultures. Well, like many cultural inventions from the US (or Japan or ancient India…), it often works for a large number of individuals in other countries. Many American ideas don’t resonate with me, but this is one of those that does. It worked every time. Cognitive self-help psychology. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

• I’m competent and … skilled and educated … and I’m well-compensated. I don’t have to benchmark against the leadership types, which in every industry tends to occupy the top rank in terms of compensation and impact.
• I’m competent and …balanced and versatile in my technical skills.
• I’m competent and … resourceful at work (and outside).
• I’m competent and … often rather relaxed under stressful work situations — strength
• I’m competent and … good at taking up learning opportunities at work
• I’m competent and … a valuable employee and valuable member of any team, more valuable than a lot of fellow employees.
• I’m competent and … pretty good at resume-writing
• I’m competent and … confident about my future and my family’s future.
• I’m competent and … well-planned for the long term. Some but very few people plan more long-term than me.
• I’m competent and … fairly careful with many things
• I’m competent and … a problem-solver.
• I’m competent and … healthy … enough to donate blood regularly.
• I’m competent and … a good father and son.