There are individuals who don’t need to rely on others. They appear to be resilient in the lone wolf sense, but I don’t know how common they are, or how strong they actually are.
I guess in most cases, resilient people tap on a “support network” rather than act as lone wolves.
One of the most intimate illustrations is counselling, like sexual issues, phobias, obsessions, addictions, behavior issues. Optimism (in the Lone-wolf sense) is just a word, often a weak and ineffective word by itself. Positive thinking is .. ditto. In half the non-trivial cases, the individual needs guidance and a helping hand. Dependency yes, but that’s real resilience for real people.
Emotional intelligence and Resilience are two misunderstood concepts.
- EQ is way more than empathy; its foundation is self-awareness…
- Resilience is not bulletproof, as explained in resilience #WhyFactor
Today I want to focus on resilience in spite of dependency.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_King%27s_Speech#Plot says the King’s speech therapist was always present at King George VI’s speeches during the war… ?! When I look at it with my red hat or black hat on, I would say Bertie was a failure and weakling with a constant need for (permanent dependency on) his therapist.
Such a hostile, /derogatory/, pessimistic assessment is unfair to King George, who became known as a symbol of British determination to win the WW2. The King demonstrated tremendous inner strength during WW2 and the post-war /disintegration/ of the British Empire.
It’s not necessarily a sign of weakness to rely on outside help, on a daily basis, as long as the individual is making a real effort, fighting her daily battle.
- eg: Think of a weak student who needs constant help but also works hard on her own. I was a truly self-reliant student who doesn’t need as much help as my classmates, but that doesn’t make me a resilient student. In fact, those classmates (who depended on help) could come out on top, thanks to their resilience.
- eg: I think many musicians and creative artists are dependent on drugs, alcohol, smoking… I would say some of them are capable, productive in their creative domains.
- eg (fictional): Bane with his dependency on pain relief apparatus … is somehow feared as a strongman, but his dependency was proven to be his Archile’s hill when Batman attacked the tubes.
- eg (specific) : Chairman Mao is a strong man, but also a chain smoker i.e. substance dependency.
- eg (within my circle): Rahul is a determined, hard-working teammate I observed for a year+. However, you could say he has a mild addiction to gaming and tobacco.
- eg (within my family): my sis is a strong, tough, resilient woman. However, she had mild addictions to tobacco, overspending. I know her better than I know the other examples, but I tend to pass heavy judgement on her.
- optimism and longevity .. https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/10/study-optimists-are-more-likely-to-live-past-age-90-heres-why.html says leveraging social support is associated with optimism. These optimist women are less likely to go it alone when facing adversity.