k_tectonic k_mellow .. k_X_FOMO_v_livelihood

See also not left-behind on Any front: real feat. I will keep these two blogposts separate for now. This blogpost is more about a list of big battles.  Every battle is a peer competition! In each battle, I had no choice but fight (I think my son may not want to fight). In 2019, I told grandpa that I felt having won the war so my fear of left-behind has /subsided/died down/ but not dead.

FOMO is an alias for kiasu and FOLB i.e. fear-of-left-behind, but for ease of searching I will keep FOMO unless FOLB is clearly less ambiguous.

[w=won or gone completely]

— In Singapore, the “kiasu” mentality is similar, as most of the battles are about peer-comparison or about “limited resources” such as education resources.

— [w] battle of 自己考进名校 — throughout my pre-U years, I shared the common fear that I might fail to get into a good-enough school

— [w] battle of mate-selection — For more than a decade in my younger days, I shared the fear (common among young men) that I might fail to find a good enough women… Consequence is quite serious.

I nearly lost this battle and was ready to live and die a bachelor. My winning chance on this battle dropped progressively to 20%.

— battle of start-up or tech career — fought in my 20’s and 30’s. XR still feels the FOMO vs the web2.0 guys.

— battle of body-building — QQ, CIV etc

— [w] battle of leadership career — either as architect or mgr. Until my 40’s, I have dreaded I might fail to climb up the management career high enough

One of the few battles I have lost and given up. Now I’m /mellow/.

— battle of academic kids — Now I still worry about my kids not growing up “academic” enough, or achieving enough.

This particular FOMO drives the (heavy-weight) housing decisions, esp. in the U.S. context.

— [w] battle of asset accumulation — From my 20’s till mid-forties, when I hear of other people’s property assets, I experience a FOMO anxiety.

Now I realize I have more than enough passive income.

— [w] battle of early retirement — including college funding + medical costs till twilight years.

— [w] battle against rising home price — mostly in China. I feel the pressure on the Chinese young professionals.

— [w] No battle of wellness — Somehow, I never needed to fight a battle of wellness. This real priority never rose high enough to become a visible battlefield.

— [w] No battle of dev-till-70 — my personal “endeavor”. No peer comparison