Initial trigger: I used to feel the “warm feeling” about going home early … some math with boy,,, some shopping,,, some home movie,, a bit of exercise … but the utilization rate has been disappointing 90% of the times. Leisure is important at this stage in my life (successE + successZ), but beware /mindless/ leisure.

(Analog — family outing is good, but we need to prepare and make it count because we only have a few outing trips a year.)

In Apr 2022 I started coming home early. Ahboy has more chats with me.

Q: what specific lasers would make me feel … justified?
A: more exercise including tough ones like chin-up, jumping jack and hard stretch? Well, I did more with grandpa watching, but this sweetener was insufficient ! 🙁
A: QQ? Still insufficient sweetening ! 🙁

I tried locking myself up in a room, with the earphone on. Still ineffective.
I tried working remotely. Not 100% effective.
I feel sitting in MRT station, Koufu, or downstairs help to some extent, if I can do it long enough.

Actually, my roti in office or in my “bachelor years” are not higher. See long-term roti=rare; prejudice about fun time with boy #finger-point`

— peer comparison.. Coming home early for family time never worked for me. It probably works for many peers but not me.  No reason to feel shame, pity, or inferiority. The best I could do in the evening open-house is … see the open-house todo lists?

— serious focus .. As soon as I try to do anything serious, I often realize office is clearly superior — no mother scolding kids.  That’s normal mode and the most important mode. There are rare exceptions when I’m more resilient but too rare.

— early sleep.. when I go home early, the family distractions would last until around 11pm. I get to settle down and focus only 1-2 hours later. That’s when I felt the need to focus and get some stuff done. That adds 1-2 hours, so I would often sleep past 1am.

Remember my q3sg email sent to Zeng, SPRaja etc.

Tip: do the “focus and get stuff done” in office. After going home. don’t aim for private-hour progress. Try to sleep early.