k_rmSelf_vs_xpSelf    k_divorce  k_X_focusing_illusion

Since 2018 I have blogged about these these topics below, and then described the same sentiment to grandpa, some counsellors and a few friends:

• blessed
• more satisfied with my current “position”
• more lucky than my cohort .. carefree ezlife; stealth overtake; not left behind on any front;
• my English, SG/US 出路, NUS+UChicago branding, wellness, devTill70, stable marriage
• see bpost “why  I feel lucky about current job”
• …

Q: why am I more satisfied than my cohort?

One answer: I guess my enhanced sense of satisfaction is directly related to my blogging[including emails, conversations]. As stated in quick self-evaluation@life: CSASS, satisfaction is usually based on an evaluation by the rmSelf. Nowadyas (Since 2017) I evaluate mostly positive /elements/ of my life. Therefore, my satisfaction with my life gets /crystalized/[2] , refined and elevated repeatedly — 量变成质变.

I guess blogging also gives the xpSelf [U-index or hedonimeter] more pleasure, thanks to the uplift of the Focusing_effect, but this effect can also intensity pains.

— divorce .. My blogging on divorce makes me more appreciative, more protective of my marriage. I take it as a bedrock of my good life, and not something to be taken for granted.

— a sweeping life-evaluation is expensive (in terms of time and System2 resources) and rarely comprehensive and in-depth

Analog: Insurance road shows are popular in Singapore exactly because most passersby have not done any comprehensive evaluation of their pff.

Pop psychology esp. the self-help industry [online/newspaper/magazines/talks/workshops, ]  often involves probing, introspective questions, self-questionnaires (and journaling). However, most people are way too busy to dwell on those long-winded, often academic questions. My blogs feature dozens of sweeping evaluations including but not limited to those under t_soulSearch, t_histZoom, t_sharpQ. In 2018 I asked R.Xia some reflective question and he didn’t respond. Later in Mar 2022 I mentioned that in an email to him. Few individuals would evaluate their lives as often as I do.  It’s rare to meet a person like me who spends so much time “evaluating”. There’s no point analyzing but I guess there are some categories — (semi-)retirees, writers/sociologists, students (instructed in school), graduating seniors

minor eg: I found a phrase in a marriage book “Tenacity to work through conflicts”. It invites the question “Are we tenacious?”, part of a sweeping introspective evaluation. The phrase (and the question) requires (sys2) slow thinking, but most people are too busy (in haste) or too lazy, so they either brush it aside or substitute a simpler word like “willpower” or “work hard”, so as to avoid an in-depth evaluation.

— [2] Visible signs of crystallization — a vocabulary, in English and sometimes in Chinese. They serve as visible signs of enhanced satisfaction. My blog (also emails) is a fertile field to cultivate this vocabulary.

I used some of the phrases when discussing with counsellors, family and friends (esp. email). Each time someone responds, even in non-verbal form like a nod, to such a phrase, the phrase becomes more entrenched in my “system”. (However, some phrases get outdated and phased out.). Here are a few examples, half-ranked:

• zqbx, burn or rot, ROTI
• no-to-exclub/brank/successC, not left behind, stealth overtaking
• carefree ezlife, successE
• harmony, rather than passive acceptance
• traction and vision
• healthy longevity and the 3 common excuses
• LetGo, mellow-up
• breakaway, wrongPriority,
• buffers and alternatives .. risk/stress protection .. important to my security and satisfaction
• livelihood, FullerWealth, brbr
• accept 碌碌无为 kids, non-academic kids, mediocre kids .. important to my zzcl(知足常乐)
• — other phrases that contribute to my sense of life satisfaction
• ctbz[寸土必争],