The fading of dissatisfaction … deserves more spotlight and should go into many of my lists in this blog.

k_X_focusing_illusion  k_tectonic

See also

• ##bubble at risk@derail` ] storms, written around the same time. It includes a comparison of several blogposts

Analogy: once a while, a university (or a government) would feel the pressue/urge to review international rankings, and identify any weakness [improvement areas].

Analogy: once a year, my employer would run an employee satisfaction survey to identify any weakness [gaps]. It is a consistent fixation/focus on the improvement areas.

In my carefree ezlife, my System2 often drifts towards the handful of familiar , often recurring, “dissatisfaction  magnetic_fields / blackholes“. Like in the analogies, this attention can be life-enhancing[3]. However, it can become /obsessive/, with a darker side. Consider the Focusing_Illusion.

[3] Jolt: if I continue to neglect workout, BMI,,, for too long, __zsms__ would likely grow
even though I put in more hours into my projects
even though I spend more time with kids

Here are the blackholes/magnetic_fields

• Edyw issues
• [h] BlueCoat derailers
• [h] screen time
• [h] FOLB for kids .. a successC domain. Serious dark side — acceptance of our kids as they are
• .. not enough math facetime with kids
• wellness decline .. workout frequency or physical capabilities [BMI is #1] .. a successZ and successE domain
• BGC title transfer .. 
• —— inactive (possibly dormant) blackholes/magnetic_fields
• [h] burn, coblood waste .. eg: too much blogg. In my carefree ezlife, this item is currently the most magnetic and potentially most obsessive
  jolt: I now value more sleep and more quiet IDLE time, with coblood waste + no burn
  visibleGrowth plateau .. is a related dissatisfaction but too vague to be included in this list.
• .. too much t-allocation to pff/… not enough to tech or wellness
• .. insufficient effort/successZ on stretch or chin-up
• [h] underfucked
• MOETF slow incremental growth .. as discussed with Aaron
• unsatisfactory ROI .. in some investments
• Jill’s investments .. Luckily the amount is a small risk capital.
• minor inefficiencies .. including wastes, wasted opportunities to economize such as penalties, mrt_overcharge, cCard fees, lost “opportunities to save” at GEL, ikea returns, yoga studio discounts..
• creep (small), splurge (big tickets) such as renovation
• SWE insecurity .. aging, competition, churn,,, my primary lang@FT_job suffer churn or low demand
• .. c++ critical mass maintenance .. insufficient refresh
• .. coding drill
• messy store room
• not enough time with grandparents
• meimei dental, myopia
• [h] brank, OC-effectiveness, … are no longer so “magnetic”
• many minor items in QuadrantNN
• unsatisfied with wife… see section below

— In my younger years, I was “occasionally” dissatisfied with my wife (to a lesser extent, my son) in terms of attractiveness and “excellence”. See y I never complain ab%%wife’s learning/earning capacity.

This is a direct consequence of (more than ) a decade of selecting, courting, (also /distancing/ from) dozens of attractive young women, and idolizing (often Caucasian) cover girls and celebrities. Nowadays I’m satisfied with my woman, my gift from God.

I think my wife also experienced a fading dissatisfaction with me. To some (unknown) extent, the dissatisfaction was mutual and the fading happened in both directions.

This fading/waning/dissolution of dissatisfaction is a blessing, one of the most valuable, cherishable blessings. It’s a sign of mellow-up. In 2022 I enjoy our intimacy even more than our first year partly because I don’t compare my wife to other women.

The fading of dissatisfaction over my career is another important mellow-up experience.

— Focusing_Illusion can make the ulcer feel worse
— quadrants .. these items are quasi-permanent fixtures in quadrant II, even ICU
— tectonic plates visualization .. these “magnetic_fields” can be visualized as parts of the 4 tectonic plates [pff ; wellness;  工作; family]
Surprisingly, there is currently zero active magnetic_field related to pff.
— [h=mellow-up, harmony, balance] .. for most if not all of these items, due to the darker side, I badly need to mellow up and achieve a basic harmony, and avoid the /obsessive/ attention.

In other words, the attention need to be controlled and kept in balance.

Also, harmony is not passive acceptance.
— sunshine .. I often feel one of these items is /deprived/ of sunshine, leading to a fake sense of /crisis/. Serenity and harmony needed.
— plowback .. related to insecurity and sense of impermanence. I often feel an urge to plowback and save my current carefree ezlife in a battery, but the battery and the plowback is usually /imperfect/
— 4 def of success .. is a good framework