k_divorce

This is a recurring sentiment about my US cmc peers. Most of my U.S. cmc peers have double income, well above me in terms of household income.
Jolt: Now I feel that’s about the only advantage they have over me.

• wellness .. am better than majority of them
• family harmony .. they are not better. Look at my bonding with my kids. YY.Tao?
• marriage .. mine is more stable than many of them. H.Yi?
• edu credentials .. mine is higher than most of them
• long-term financial support by the state .. my gov is better than theirs by a large margin
• pff .. despite their higher income, I don’t feel they are actually better off. This is just like latency race .. what’s enough? If we are well-off enough, then why envy those 50% richer?

— new: unstable marriage of two high flyers
[[Divorcing couples: a profile analysis]] finds “dual-earning couples often struggle with the management of multiple demands placed on them — earning money, the responsibility of maintaining a home and raising kids.” I have never questioned the advantages of dual_earning. Now I think there are a few DISadvantages.

• the wife would be busier and have less time for kids
• the husband must take on more parenting work
• the wife (perhaps husband too) is more tired on more days
• more conflict in marriage, leading to insecurity in kids.

Given the income disparity in my marriage, my wife is mostly supportive, rather than competitive and independent. Our parenting duties are well-organized.

Q (posed in 2020, 2021 or 2022): given the cashflow high ground, how could H.Y improve their marriage and communication.

A: professional couple counselling. This service costs a lot in the U.S.
A: hire a maid to reduce the home-making workload on each parent

Perhaps emigrate to a lower-income country where systems are less complex and everyday life simpler and more convenient.

Surprisingly, the high ground doesn’t provide enough of a buffer of protection against marital risks. The high ground improves risks related to family cashflow, but the high-earning wife is also very independent and doesn’t want to play a supporting role to the husband. Not a risk factor in itself, but in some cases, this can indirectly create new risks. Many divorce cases involve two high-income earners.

A lower-class stable couple (earning 100k/Y) look at the higher-class the Yi’s with envy. But would the Yi’s envy the stable marriage of the lower-class couple? I think Yi’s xpSelf would.

Now 100k/Y is well above the median household income, so why would this couple still envy the Yi’s. Would a $400k couple envy someone still higher? It’s endless like the low-latency arms race.