k_Promethean_struggle

Bindi (Cigna counsellor) introduced this observation of all dieters. We take 2 steps forward (down) and one step back (up), like a dance. It happens to all dieters, and is normal part of life. Therefore, similar to yoga my goal is maintenance:

• without effort, we will be 2 steps back, and no step forward
• with effort, we would aim at 1 step forward, 1 step back.

jolt: I could hope to avoid this dance if no 10x hazard rate from unexpected enticing foods in home stash (or office free foods).

I gave her the example of brownie or cheesecake. I said I stay away from them for as long as I could. I feel strong in doing that. I still eat brownie, but very rarely. If too much freely available, I could open the floodgates and lose control.

I also told her every evening when going home I prepare for battle.

• Are they part of a Daily Battle? Yes.
• Are they deprivation? No. It’s self-control.
• Are they a struggle? Yes, though we want to be comfortable with each Decision[Sys2 effort req’d]
• Are they self-hate? No.
• Are they life-enhancing and self-growth? They can be.
• Are they a Promethean torture? No. More like a dance. Not really fun, but neither a torture.

We can’t control our environment as completely as I could in NY. [Even in the U.S. I did lose control when there was free food offered.], so we win some battles and lose some battles, like a dance. My batting average is not as good as in NY, where I had better control over the environment.

I told Bindi that when I decide to give in, I try to hold both of these reminders in my head:

1. I take responsibility and decide when I lose control, for example at supper time. I used to blame my wife and mom for cooking too much. Bindi said there is some element of truth. Bindi said they could help by cooking less and removing the /leftovers/, although they are cooking for the family.
2. I accept the consequence that the recent weight improvement would likely get wiped out. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I also fight the bao3shan1 battle. The 10x hazard rate (from the unexpected enticing foods) lead to frequent loss of control. This level of failure is strongly correlated with the level of (overwhelming) availability.

Bindi echoed the earlier counsellor’s comment on self-compassion, whenever we lose the struggle, before or after the bao3shan1 battle.

I told Bindi that I would choose the latter of:

• Choice 1: eat like others, and witness my healthy BMI deteriorate like my cohorts around me including CSDoctor, R.Xia
• Choice 2: struggle with the Promethean daily battle , suffer setbacks, engage in the dance, and keep my BMI in green zone