Update: the big struggle is a sufficient and probably necessary post-condition for meal delay.

k_Promethean_struggle

Fri 17 Apr 2021, compared to previous 2 days I ate more in office including small amount of claypot rice + congee [1]. I did so partly to reduce the “prolonged separation intensifying attraction” impact but now in hindsight, I’m only 51% sure that there was any reduction.
[1] I probably overestimated the starch intake, and felt too much self-hate.

I came home feeling no hunger, no serious temptation even when I saw the unexpected enticing foods in kitchen. Now in hindsight I know this was insufficient evidence (jolt) of a stomach too full like 80%, like after a buffet. I told wife that I just had dinner, but perhaps was 20% full only (jolt). At that juncture, I didn’t decide what to eat, when to eat, so at least for a few hours there was no battle to fight.. no such stress on my mind.

The smoothie I made around 8pm was high ice, high chia, with some congee (I think I also ate 2 carrot + cucumber) … and helped to postpone the supper. The movie also helped postponement. After the movie, I was finally facing the stark reality, and realized I was not ready to fight the battle. The temptation [unexpected enticing foods] was overwhelming, probably too high even for the 2018 Tan Bin in Bayonne.

jolt: Guilt and self-hate is counterproductive, possibly more harmful than the calories. So I didn’t beat myself up (self-hate), even though I knew the BMI improvement over the last few DAYs could be lost, like a Promethean struggle. I guess I had a controlled release and Let-Go.

jolt: compassion .. even more compassion needed next time. home-cooked food,starch..≠opium

I didn’t want to resist and I decided to let myself enjoy some of the enticing foods, in a small bao3shan1 battle:

• b3s1: I slowed down and made the right decision to box up the 丝瓜 as it is not really enticing.
• b3s1: I decide to eat the meat portion in meimei’s leftover claypot rice. Didn’t eat the claypot rice ! How I managed to resist? I guess the earlier starch controlled release “rewards” in office … somehow helped.
• b3s1: I didn’t touch the ice cream, cakes or red-bean buns at home. These are the unexpected foods that don’t exist in my office stash.

Cigna Counsellor would probably say “focus on your circle of control, not on your circle of concern.”

Overall, I fought a brave battle, and lost, just like in 宝山. I lost (no “surrender”) the /gains/ of previous few days (Promethean). This result is completely human given then 10x hazard rate. In the tornado of unexpected enticing foods, just about every strategy is too weak:

• strategy: no eating if no hunger .. I used this to postpone
• strategy: postpone 1st and last meals … I did so for many days and on this day
• strategy: eat more in office
• strategy: lots of veg + fruits + chia + smoothie
• strategy: minimize starch, fat, but more meat
• strategy: move leftovers to /office-stash/
• strategy: b3s1 .. worthwhile