k_mellow

Problem description — You come home without hunger (like Bayonne), but when you see food you start to feel an appetite out of control.

Counsellor challenged me — Can you say to yourself right now “I won’t compare to the past. I will focus on the present and what’s within my control.” Well, I won’t give up and accept things like “my kids have disappeared, or my legs are now useless..” However, the environment changed hugely from 2019.

— out-of-control appetite.. I hope there’s a more powerful phrase like “appetite on rampage”, but “control” is a power phrase in my mind. See also wins+control ]Bayonne

Now I think the appetite on rampage is normal. How do you decide that’s not legitimate hunger? Your yardstick is elastic!

You find this new appetite so irrational (hunger is never rational), so random (it actually is), so out of control (human nature). But that’s probably the case with a lot of people, when they have not tasted that particular food for a long time.

— Compassion .. is a keyword from the 13 Apr 2021 Cigna counselor. See powerless guilt #self-hate for the opposite of compassion

I gave the counselor a graphic metaphor — patches of poison on the surface of an internal organ. This counselling session helped me open up, spot the poison, wash it off, while keeping, not rejecting, the organ. I felt cleansed. I know how ugly the organ looks, but it’s part of me and I embrace every part of me. I am OK as an fallible, weak human being. It’s OK to lose half the nightly battles. In unusual j4 S$7.50 salad, I recorded my chat with another Cigna counselor Bindi when I said “everyone is weak.”