The context:
- boy is yet to show a major sign of maturity — the self-management required to work towards a long-term goal.
- However, immediate incentive DOES work for him, such as outing, hotel booking …
- Boy has agreed on a few daily practice routines. Each lasting a few week. Completed:) though not as effective and not as easy as the immediate incentives.
For boy’s personality at his age, I feel the “motivation” concept is possibly oversold, as he shows limited/no sign of long term goals turning into action. Instead, Incentive is probably the correct name. At this stage, the regime we follow is target+control. Within it, the rewards are actually incentives.
Incentive is immediate; motivation is deeper and more internal.
There are a few real motivations we are working on
* wide range of interests
* ownership
* longer term, bigger rewards
Some long-term goals for adults
* a long term goal to hit a target body weight or flexibility (see an example target below)
* marathon or another fitness goal
* a part time certificate training course
* a long term goal to learn a musical instrument
* a long term goal to improve on coding interviews
* get into a better job
* immigration
* publish articles or a book
For my son, one of the long term goals is Chinese handwriting. I see he’s not yet able to set a target and make gradual and consistent progress towards it. Putting myself in his shoes, I can only *speculate* that such a target is perhaps too high and not perceived as achievable, so he’s perhaps not motivated to take any action.
Another Example — I set him a target to read aloud any 400-word Chinese piece with or without pinyin. There’s a big reward but it would take a few weeks of practice. He did absolutely nothing about it. Why? Grandpa felt this is normal for his age.
Similarly, I have the same sentiment about yoga. I have a deep rooted self-perception that I’m too tight and it would take 10+ years to hit a target like chest touching thigh. As a result I was completely /immobilized/. I found various excuses and refused to take any action whenever people suggested yoga. An unconscious self-protection against further disappointment. It took real courage to sign up and follow the yoga practice.
Sugg (See #3): find something easily achievable (tiptoe?) and ask him to do it by himself without prompting for a week. Attach a big reward.