Hi XR,
(to be published on my blog)
I know you have your worries, so you don’t need to read this word by word.
The job is too tiring. I feel 100% of my effort is still not good enough. I still work on Saturdays, usually in the office, and i average 10 hours (9-7pm) each weekday. But I’m persuading myself to stay in my current job:
* once i complete 18 months (Apr 2009) of service i would have the option to transfer to other GS teams.
* i feel giving up now is giving up without a fight. A bit of shame if i quit GS at this stage.
* one of the biggest “problems” of staying in this job is the high calibre of my colleagues, but it’s also a good thing to be surrounded by terribly efficient smart colleagues.
* I guess one important reason my colleagues are so fast is (obviously) their familiarity with the system. If i push myself even harder i might “climb over the hump” and close the efficiency gap. I would then no longer need to work such long hours.
* the longer i stay, the stronger my track record would appear on the resume. Sometimes i feel like hanging on to it month after month. A bit like an endless marathon. Maybe i’ll reach the limit of my pain-endurance; maybe i will climb over the hump.
* I’m a true techie. in US i have a longer shelf life. Singapore is a regional sales office for most of the tech titans, where selling is the #1 organizational goal.
* One day sg may become unsutable for me, and i would need to seek employment elsewhere. US big-company track record is more convincing and a “passport” to job markets outside South-East asia.