Update: is my son taking on too much academic pressure in terms of heavy homework, piano and renzi? Actually, the piano and renzi pressure is nothing compared to the exam pressure.

Eg: With my flexibility, I put in some effort but avoided the problem most of my life. Will I some day take on the challenge and set myself a target and work towards it? That’s what I call “ownership“.

Eg: my Chinese compo. Until sec 2, compo was just too tough and too boring.

These are self-motivation. In this post, by “pressure” I mean externally imposed not self-driven. There’s a subtle difference but I think can be crucial. My experience – when the pressure changes from external to internal, i feel slightly more in-control.

I think at secondary school age, many (but not most) kids can take on high academic pressure. In the west, I am not even sure if the kids are subject to this level of academic pressure, but they would take on other pressures.

In primary schools, kids lack the critical judgment, the rational thinking, and protective self-talk.  I GUESS at this age, there are more incidents of mental collapse.

My son has a soft personality. On one hand, he is reluctant to study, not motivated or ambitious, not determined to achieve higher academic standard. On the flip side, he would protest but won’t fiercely resist parent pressure. It’s important for parents of soft kids to moderate the pressure imposed. I can recall the Piano incident and the Spelling incident, both in his P2 (early half year) grade. I feel his personality is more vulnerable to harmful pressure.

I feel the harsh punishment I gave him is probably the worst parenting experience. The experiment was unsuccessful and therefore harmful and dangerous.