BillGates and MarkZ were described as socially awkward in school. I think the phrase has a special American meaning in the American context.
The context is 100% Caucasian. Even in a group of non-white Americans, basically the same judgement would be used. However, if the group consists of recent immigrants, then we would follow different criteria to judge if someone is socially-awkward.
I was very awkward in middle school. Slowly found my confidence in high school. Humor (and wit) is something I lack in most group settings. In Shiyan I had a bit of wit, but not humor.
Watching the Mr.Bean episode “Exam”, I recall that most western men strike me as contemporary and polished. But I beat most of them in studies (bigO), in self-discipline (Gary.G), in wellness, in brbr/FullerWealth, even in analytical writing.
Q: am I more or less awkward in the American context?
A: less. Am socially awkward by most cultural standards, but less so in American context.
— confidence .. For me, confidence is the key. With confidence, I become less self-conscious, less sensitive (I care less about other people’s reactions[1]). This is tolerable and can be a good thing when interacting with half-strangers. Not so harmless with extended family, colleagues and friends.
[1] Those close to me often remind me of the gravity of my insensitivity. Looking at my mistakes and my mom’s mistakes, now I think those people who feel hurt tend to be oversensitive. If there’s any hurt, I do NOT deserve 100% of the responsibility. My mistakes are usually mild and not hurting. I would rather err on insensitivity rather than over-sensitivity.
— shrinking .. The Chinese culture (perhaps Indian culture too) emphasizes “缩小自己” and become as invisible as possible like a bodyguard. If you always draw attention to yourself, then you are always socially awkward, as you stick-out
Shrinking requires observation of protocol. I’m never really good at that.
See also