k_anger_mgmt

Note kids can learn.

boiling anger … as a special level of anger. Boiling means spilling over, “getting out of hands”.

== wall-facing, either kneeling or standing
not effective as boiling anger-release. But can help cool down anger, so we should really use it more.

== smack – must be done in the presence of another parent, and never in boiling anger.
== yelling .. Under high temperature (~~ boiling), yelling is an effective pressure valve
I tried yelling in public. I think a brief display is acceptable, esp. in U.S. culture.

If boy were to learn any “release” from me, then yelling is a safer release than smashing or hitting.

== smashing to the floor

• In calm anger, smashing sounds like restrained… but this is a slippery slope..
• In boiling anger, this is often THE volcano, but much, much safer than hitting. Kids can learn this.
• In both cases, if the anger is hard to control, then smashing is an effective pressure valve, a bigger valve than yelling.

Deep down, I feel smashing is more about showing him my hurt, pain,,,. The response I (or the harsh parent in me) need to see in my son must include a sign of pain.

Q: Smashing without yelling… possible? Quiet, firm smashing?

kids often “upgrade” smash to hurling.