which of these two scenarios would be a worse nightmare?

• my kids go to a below-average college, get a mediocre job, earning a below-average income — 孩子长大碌碌无为，做普通人, 也能快乐幸福一辈子
• 学坏, renegade, delinquent … get into trouble.
  • Hopefully a low risk if both parents stay with the kids, but consider Aunt Genn.

If ah-boy is just mediocre, then most likely he didn’t “try enough”. My harsh attitude (在他心目中的形象) would not help him improve (I tend to overestimate my influence and power over him) but could threaten the precious bonding.