It would be a coup if I could transform wife’s negative views into positive motivation to push further in my weight improvement

k_counsellor

Every now and then, I feel resentful for my wife’s (and to a lesser extent my mother’s) remarks that she thinks I look unhealthy.

I work very hard to reduce my calorie intake but her words weaken the precious resolve I have built for my diet.

I feel her words have the potential to derail my entire effort.

I feel scared — Once I lose this precious resolve, I would put on, say, 5kg and hate myself (and her). What scares me most is my bitter hatred.

The frustration doesn’t help my effort, but is there a way to turn her words into a positive force? Sometimes I want to demonstrate to my wife that I’m better than those individuals she considers healthier, but I am afraid of setting myself a target that creates more self-hate.

The control and responsibility belongs to me. I take full ownership. However, I feel vulnerable, weak and unstable, so much so that I notice a tendency to blame the environment and other people. I have practiced this blame game for years.

I wish I was stronger, able to withstand the adversities hitting me from every direction.

— reflection after the chat with Bindi
trust that you have the resolve and the strength to restore your current weight after a 5kg relapse. I have the image of the aging Batman.

I tend to feel the current extraordinary BMI level is a blessing, not effort. In the cool light of day, I see it’s at least 70% by my effort.

Q: what if my wife says that again? Am scared.
A: try to stay calm and tell her that her words aren’t helping. Then swiftly disengage. Ideally leave the scene. Am so lucky that office is steps away