k_tectonic    k_mellow

Rewind to age 33 or earlier.

Q: Would I rather have a lovely wife or have a better career and bright kids but 随便找个凑或看着还过得去的女人?
A: When I looked into my real priorities, the answer is always unambiguous — I didn’t need such an outstanding career, or such bright kids, or big houses. If I don’t find a Suitable woman, I’d rather stay single indefinitely, and basically let go of those other priorities.

Over the last few years, I find myself falling into the same trap of inferiority (+ self-pity + self-contempt). Most of the time, the same few individuals capture my attention — the ex-classmates and now big managers in China….

But why I don’t celebrate

• (unsorted but I want to highlight the unsung heroes)
• my beautiful yet thrifty, hardworking wife
• my healthy and capable parents, with their retirement benefits
• my father with his wisdom, achievements, reputation
• my smart sister
• my lovely kids
• retirement — my Singapore option. “They” are stuck with the Social Security
• retirement — my well-thought-out plan including multiple properties
• my part ownership of the Beijing property, something few of my peers have.
• my level of Wealth by Fuller’s definition
• my life-long learning attitude, habit, and capacity
• my chosen country — U.S. age-friendly job market lets me work till 70
• my profession — lets me work till 70 at high income…. See financial IT profession: !! so bad #longevity
• my profession — software engineering and finance are both lucrative, strategic, and suitable for me (arguably better than pre-sales). It’s actually not easy to get into these domains.
• my sub-domain — java and c++ are both deep, well-paid, long-living and hard to master
• my widely in-demand skill set and excellent market depth in my chosen domain.  Do “THEY” have the same?

This blog post is primarily about celebration. On a second level, I’d like to focus on My 9 biggest achievements (not a rigorous list)

1. found a woman of my dreams and had 2 beautiful kids, based on luck but also my personal qualities
2. achieved Singapore citizenship, largely based on our education and professional job. We worked hard for it and made big sacrifices. Singapore citizenship means
   1. housing,
   2. affordable health care,
   3. relatively age-friendly job market,
   4. low-cost retirement destination
   5. decent education system
   6. reliable and low cost services beyond the “civic”
   7. safe, clean, supportive neighborhood,
3. competed successfully to break into and remain in the finance IT domain
   1. portable skills that give me well-paying jobs in many countries and many companies. IV muscle building
   2. my depth in java language is rarely surpassed, not only in java concurrency
   3. my data structure understanding and skills are my 2nd stronghold
   4. I solved many hard algo problems on my own.
   5. received fourteen c++ job offers + more java offers
   6. moved successfully from back-office to front-office
4. saved for years to fully pay off a nice Singapore home + several investment properties
5. education credentials — higher than most people. No mean achievement. I worked hard in my 40’s to get it.
6. no belly, BMI and chin-up .. at this age
7. personal finance
   1. burn rate control over 20Y my entire adult life. It gave me extraordinary flexibility and deep confidence
   2. personal investments — fairly successful track record
8. Plenty of life chances throughout my student and working career, thanks to English, nationality, IV skills, trec..