Hi XR,

You asked what kind of people I feel most comfortable with. Everything being equal, i'd prefer someone with some visible (not too showy) personal mannerism. I guess Yi Ge is one example. I have many friends who aren't “visible” but my first-impression of Yi Ge is better.

In reality, 2 people are never “everything equal”. For each colleague, the level of “affinity” I feel depends on a myriad factors, sometimes very subtle.

Let's put aside how I feel about others and focus on how others feel about me — allow me to be self-centered again. The core issue is, if I often fail to realize my habits are different from others (after friends point out i still fail to notice “similar” differences), and if I do look and talk different from majority, will it affect my career as a senior developer, architect or team lead?

You said it does. Reluctantly I agree. I said it's a minor factor compared to other factors. I guess many people would say small personal mannerisms have very real impacts. Reluctantly, I have to agree.

I guess most people have one or 2 visible eccentricities but overall fall into the normal range. I am one of the minority of individuals who exhibit many minor eccentric behaviors. (There are more eccentric individuals than me for sure.)

For someone like me, Career progress depends largely on manager's preference…. (I am at least good enough, technically and inter-personally, in every job. I coordinated projects with 3 other external teams. Even without my manager I could handle a development project and deliver a system that meets requirements. I sometimes interact directly with users, just as a BA does. I have enough business knowledge to communicate with business users. In production support I have even more interactions with users and external teams — and i probably did a decent if not better job in production support)…. So i feel if my manager can live with my imperfections he could promote me to a leadership role.

You once said i should consider taking on a team lead role so I can learn how to lead. Worthwhile. I call it baptism-by-fire.